Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Dear Brookey...

What's crackalackin peoples!?

So...I checked my inbox today on FB, and I received a random "Dear Brooke" email from a woman I don't even know. I guess that's what happens when you accept every friend request that comes through - hey, I'm a friendly person...what can I say :-)

She seems like a cool person though, so I asked her if I could make her question my blog topic for today - and she said yes...so here goes!

Dear Brooke,

You don't know who I am even though you accepted my friend request. I follow your blog daily and think you give pretty good advice and have a sensible head on your shoulders, so I wanted to pose a question to you. I really like this guy I recently met. We get along great, he's funny and he's smart - but more in a "street-smart" sort of way. The only problem is, my friends don't think I should "date down." He works for UPS, has a high school diploma, but has never been to college - (I have 2 degrees from UPenn). He doesn't "dress" the way other guys I have dated dress (conservatively or stylishly) and he doesn't like plays, art, poetry or anything "cultured." (Their words, not mine) I love all those things, but it doesn't bother me that he isn't into any of them. He listens to rap music, plays video games and uses a lot of slang. But at the end of the day, he treats me well, we have a good time, he's never been married and he has no children. He's never been to jail, he works hard and I feel safe with him. He loves his family, and has a good heart. My friends don't think he would "fit in" with my group of friends, and they feel that I'm settling and that I can do better. What should I do?

Wow.

I think the answer is pretty simple - do what makes you happy and tell your "friends" to back off. That's the easy answer...but may not be easy to do.

I suspect you're asking me what to do because you care about what your friends think, and subconsciously you may be having some reservations yourself. I'm not sure what you have in common, but I'm sure you had to at least think about the things that you DON'T have in common. If it truly doesn't bother you that you're not into the same things - and it doesn't bother him - then just enjoy the man and have fun.

It's hard to find a guy (or woman) who makes us feel good, who we have fun with, who we feel comfortable with and who makes us laugh. Don't give that up simply because you have shallow friends. They're not dating him, YOU are. If you two just met, then give it some time to see what develops. Your friends are acting like you're going to marry the man tomorrow. It's a bit premature for anyone to be saying ANYTHING about this budding relationship. Just go with the flow, and if he continues to make you feel happy, then your friends should be happy for you simply because YOU are happy. If they're not, then maybe the relationship you should re-evaluate is the one you have with your so-called friends.

I understand why women want to date men who they feel is on or above "their level" in terms of education, career, success, etc. They say that women seek men who can serve as good providers during the period when they will be concentrating on mothering their children. It may also be argued that, even though a woman has a more successful career than a man, she will still be far more likely than him to want to serve as the primary caretaker for their children. For these reasons, it's said that "dating down" will never work. Whatever that means.

It sounds to me like your friends care more about titles and appearances than what is in man's heart. If he works hard, loves his family, treats you well and makes you feel safe, THOSE are the qualities you should look for in a potential husband and father - not what his university alma mater is. A man can have a gang of degrees, make six-figures at a high powered job and frequent museums and be all "cultured" - and still be an asshole. The corporate CEO may not make a great father because he might not be around. And just because a man makes alot of money doesn't mean he knows what to do with it - or that he'd share it with you.

And not for nothing, that UPS guy probably makes more money than LOTS of people with a college degree...if that's what you care about. Let's be real here...jus sayin.

Not everyone who graduated from college is intelligent, and not everyone who didn't go to college is stupid. I knew plenty of idiots in college, and some of the smartest people I know didn't go to college at all. Having a degree means you're educated, not intelligent...there's a difference.

I say all that to say - do YOU. Have fun. Explore your new relationship and don't worry about what your friends think. Your true friends will be happy that you've found someone who makes you smile. And for those "friends" who don't support you...they can (say it with me)...KICK ROCKS!

-b

51 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like this guy is putting it down in the bedroom!

stephanie said...

u 4got 2 say first bitches. So I will

haha first bitches

Tony said...

Brooke I agree with you completely. This young lady answered her own question when she said, "he treats me well, we have a good time, he's never been married and he has no children. He's never been to jail, he works hard and I feel safe with him. He loves his family, and has a good heart."

Those are very admirable qualities and she is a lucky woman to have found a man with such qualities regardless of his education level.

I also agree Brooke, that she may want to evaluate her friendships with those that "look down" on "dating down."

Ms. Penn said...

Hey Brooke,

I just wanted to thank you for posting my question for your blog today. And thank you for the answer. I gues I have to admit that I do care (DID care) what my friends thought. We've all been close for a while, and while I think they're being shallow, I also think they want to see me happy.

I shared your answer with them, and they say they get it. They seem to think our differences will eventually make us grow apart, so why waste time. I can see that, but at the same time, there's nothing wrong with simply DATING the man like you said. I'm having fun and I want to keep having fun with him for as long as I can.

For the "anonymous" who said he must be putting it down in the bedroom - you are wrong. We haven't had sex yet. I've only known him for a few weeks and he's actually the one who wants to take it slow. That makes me respect him more, because most ivy league men that I've dated in the past tried to bed me on the first night.

A degree doesn't give you class or make you a good person - and my new found friend is showing me that. My friends said that maybe I'd become a good influence on him and "teach" him to like what I like. But honestly, I feel like he's teaching me what it is to be a truly good man, regardless of his education or what he does for a living.

I look forward to reading everyone's responses, and thank you again Brooke for the insight!

Yolanda said...

Shoooot, that UPS man has better health insurance than I do. Go for it, girl!!!

I experienced this with a friend once... and we all gave it the side-eye. Not because he's been to jail and she has multiple degrees... but because he WAS bringing her down. There was all sorts of drama about him not keeping a job, etc...

I would call that "dating down" if the person (regardless of what they do for a living) is a negative pull on you, your emotions and yes, your wallet. But if it works, who cares. College is over-rated anyway. You probably move in more circles and network more by delivering packages!

Stef said...

@Ms. Penn,

I'm sorry to say, but your friends are not really your friends. Even if they THOUGHT that the guy you were dating was beneath you, they should still support you - and keep their mouth shut.

If you're happy, that's all that matters...and your true friends would want to see you happy. Like Brook and Tony said, you may want to re-evaluate your friendships with those who look down on someone else just to build themselves up. How would they like it if someone did that to them? They wouldn't like it. And you don't need people in your life like that.

Yolanda said...

Ms. Penn,

Do your friends have men? Could there be some jealousy going on here?!?

Jaz said...

@Ms. Penn,

I was in this situation before, where my friends thought that it was beneath me to date a waiter. I work in corporate America and they thought he was just with me to say he was with a woman who made money.

Well guess what? He made WAY more money than I did in tips alone. He was smart, owned his home, had a car and saved his money. He treated me well and I never came out of my pocket for anything. But all my friends could say was, "you're dating a waiter?" They just didn't get it.

Like Brooke said, do YOU. Have fun and get to know him. If you find that your differences are too many that you DO grow apart, then so what? At least you had fun along the ride. And take a good look at your friends' character. Doesn't sound like they'd make a great catch based on their shallow personalities. They should think about THAT!

-V- said...

Women seem to have this problem all the time ...

1) There is more than one "perfect man" out there. He could be a doctor, a grocery store clerk or a UPS guy. THERE IS MORE THAN 1, "THE ONE" (more than you think).

2) My brother's a doctor, I've met his med-school friends and most of them I would NOT let treat me medically, let alone date my sister or daughter. NOTE: 50% of all doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class.

3) If you took this guy to see "The Nutcracker" or "Les Miserables" he would be in awe! He may never be into it as much as you are but he'd go, maybe even take you to one for a special occasion. Trust me!

4) I know more "professional" couples with way more problems than couples with blue collar husbands. The difference is staggering. There's something to be said about being able to leave your work completely at work at the end of each day and (more importantly) the weekend.

5) I'm not saying this guy's "the one" but those UPS/FedEx guys are generally good, dependable people.

Why not just see this through without worrying about what your friends think – like a teenager?

Jay said...

@Yolanda,

I was going to ask the same question. Who are HER friends dating? And what kind of men are THEY?

@Ms. Penn,

I think we all agree when we say do what makes you happy. Life is too short to be playing into other peoples' insecurities and shallow mindsets. While I do agree that people with common likenesses probably are more compatible, what matters most is the essence of a person - who they are when they come home from that high powered job, or off the truck.

What you do for a living doesn't always translate into what kind of person you are. What kind of person you are can influence what you do for a living - but not how you are in relationships. It sounds to me like this guy you're seeing knows how to treat a woman - and that is worthy its weight in gold right there. So many of us know how to excel at our jobs, but we don't know how to be successful with each other. What good is it to have a title and make a 6 figure salary, and be a jerk who's alone?

Be happy. Your true friends will be happy for you and they'll still be around. Anyone else who distances themselves from you based on your decision to date him or anyone else will be doing you a favor.

Ms. Penn said...

@Yolanda,

Only one of my friends has a man, and he's not that great :) They're always having problems, even though they both have post graduate degrees and work in the same field (they met at work). Most of my friends only date men who wear suits (I remember that blog Brooke wrote and thought of them) and they're all alone on Friday and Saturday nights. I've been out with my new friend every weekend, where I used to spend that time with them - so maybe there's a bit of resentment ther. I don't want to think that, but maybe there is a bit of jealousy, who knows.

stephanie said...

Solid advice Brooke. I hope this young lady takes your advice. I can relate to her. My current boyfriend is the opposite of men I have dated in the past. I use to have a top 10 list of requirements that determined wether or not I would date a man. My list included things like, he can't have kids, has to be a college grad,has to make as much $$$ as I do or more,my friends have to like him ect, ect. After much trial and error I learned that this list only held me back from finding someone great.My current boyfriend has 2 kids, makes less $$ than I do and never went to college. He treats me better than my last 3 boyfriends combined, his kids are a joy to be around and even though he makes less $$ than I do we always find fun and economic ways to have a good time.If I would have followed my so called list we would have never met. And my friends love him, and think he's the nicest boyfriend I've ever had. So follow your heart and listen to your gut that little voice inside of you will never steer you wrong.

Brooke said...

Ahhh...now we're getting somewhere. They probably ARE jealous that you're out having a good time while they're waiting on the dudes in suits to call them.

That's sad if that's the case. But sometimes our friends find it hard to be happy for us when they're miserable themselves.

Makes you wonder why they're all alone...

...actually, no wondering about it at all. The ugly attitude they have probably shines through and turns men off - ALL men.

Yolanda said...

These days, you have to be open to change and stepping out of your box.
Hell, I was eying the grocery deliver dude last night. He was fine.

Your friends should learn to keep their options open and be more adventurous!

The Cable Guy said...

Well, as the "cable guy" you can imagine I'd have something to say about this.

I've had women turn their noses up at me because I was the cable dude. Either that, or they'd date me "secretly" and never introduce me to their friends because we wouldn't have anything in common. I quickly let those women go.

I think that's why I liked Brooke so much when I met her. She didn't look down on me, talked to me, joked with me, and gave me HER card. I thought that was classy and sexy - because she didn't care that I'd just hooked up her cable modem.

Most women find me attractive or funny, but would still not approach me because I'm the cable guy. I'm sure the UPS man you're talking about has experienced the same thing, and appreciates that you don't have a pretentious bone in your body. I'm sure you're that much more sexy to him as a result and he treats you like the woman you are.

Do You and tell your friends to scram. That's why their lonely asses are hatin on you, because your happy and they're not!

-V- said...

The bottom line: be OPEN MINDED!

Open to race, job, finances, education, etc ...

Some things like religion are more difficult to overcome but if you're open to it, anything is possible.

Ms. Penn said...

@Stephanie,

I appreciate your story. It makes me hopeful. I had a "list" too - but it wasn't really based on what his job should be or what his education should be, even though I did want to date someone who went to college at least because I thought that would mean we could at least have intelligent conversations. But like Brooke said, I dated a lot of college educated men who were idiots. So that theory quickly went out the window.

Oddly enough, it's when I put that list away that I met my friend. He's everything I want in a man and has almost everything on my list, he just comes in a different package :)

@Yolanda,

You're right, my friends need to open themselves up to more possibilities. I'm sharing all of this advice with them. And ask the grocery guy out!

Brooke said...

I agree V - I know for some it's easier said than done when we're in our comfort zone, or we're trying to please friends and family. But we have to live our lives for ourselves first, and those who truly love you will fall in line and simply want you to be happy.

My sister and her husband are a perfect example of that. He worked in a pizza shop when they met, didn't speak a lick of English and was a Muslim. Now, this month they'll be celebrating 9 years of marriage, 12 together, have two children and he speaks several languages, English of which is his third one now. Oh, and he now OWNS the pizza shop - and my sister is a convert to Islam and is at peace with her life and her decisions - and very much in love.

You never know what can happen when you just open yourself up to what God has planned for you.

-V- said...

That's true Brooke but that may not be a good example.

That dude makes a mean pizza ... I wanna marry him!

;-)

Brooke said...

True, if a man could make me a mean pizza..and cheesesteak...I might have to run off with him too! My friends be DAMNED! LOL!

Jay said...

@Ms. Penn,

Does your guy friend know what your friends think of him? I take it he hasn't met them yet?

-V- said...

I bet if she hung out with HIS friends, they'd make her feel welcome and she'd have a good (albeit different) time.

Ms. Penn said...

@Jay,

No, my guy friend doesn't know what they've said about him or how they feel. I don't want him to think I share their same sentiments, and he doesn't need to hear that. And oddly enough, my friends think I'd be embarrassed to bring him around - and they're right. I'd be embarrassed by my female friends, not HIM. I'm ashamed that I have friends like that, not ashamed of HIM.

Ms. Penn said...

@V,

Yes, I've met his friends, and they all made me feel welcome. We played pool and went bowling a few times, and it was great! They're all down to earth, good people. I even contemplated introducing one of his friends to one of mine, but she'd never date him. I felt like HE was too good for HER!

And as for what you said earlier V, he's already offered to take me to see "Race" - a play I'm dying to see here. He's never once said to me that he never wanted to go to a poetry reading or a play. I think I just assumed he wouldn't, but he offered last night, I didn't have to bring it up to him or ask. He's open to everything that I'm interested in, and he tries include me in activities that he likes.

I'm going to just enjoy him. I don't want my friends to meet him yet as I'm still getting to know him, but mainly because my friends are so close minded. Maybe after today and I show them all of your advice, they'll get it. Thanks!

-V- said...

My work here is done ;-)

Brooke, why did you have to mention "cheesesteak" ???

Now I'm drooling and heading out to to get one ...

Tony said...

"I'd be embarrassed by my female friends, not HIM. I'm ashamed that I have friends like that, not ashamed of HIM."

You know the deal. You've mentioned it too many times not to realize what is happening. Look at your relationships and figure out what means the most to you and nurture them. Let go of those that will truly bring you down.

Good Luck to you!

Tony said...

BTW I've been both Blue collar and White collar and there is something to be said for Blue collar brothas.

Stef said...

@Tony,

You ain't neva lied about THAT! Blue collar brothas are hard working, dependable, and know how to change a damn LIGHT BULB! These white collar ones don't ever want to break a fingernail! I need a man who knows how to fix shit up around the house! LOL!

Geeque4u said...

I agree with Stephanie, she made some valid points...

Brooke said...

Good luck getting a great cheesesteak in SoCal - even though I think you mentioned you found a good place...and Tahitian Treat :)

Ms. Penn, I think you know what it is, just like Tony said. You probably just wanted us to echo the feelings you already have on the situation.

I won't say that it was an easy decision to make, especially when most of us have an idea of what we think we want in a partner. There's nothing wrong with wanting to date someone who is successful, or accomplished, or who is educated. Not at all. But you have to realize that those things don't make for great relationships on their own. Those aren't core components of a relationship. Money, big homes, hedge funds, diplomas hanging on wallss...those are all great..and can make your lives together comfortable. But without love, trust, respect, morals, fun, laughter and a spiritual center - none of those other "things" matter. At the end of the day, you want to be with the person who makes you happy, and who you'd want by your side should all of those other things suddenly be taken away.

Geeque4u said...

Cable Guy hit in on the nail!!!! Their lonley asses are hatin because your happy!!!

Yes, Brooke is definitely a down to earth person!!

Val or Pro Brooklynite said...

Brooke i too concur with the masses she answered it herself you just shed a bit more clarity.

Stef said...

yep Val, Ms. Penn knew - she just needed to hear it from us :)

and I wouldn't bring him around your bougie friends either! (sp?)

Brooke said...

Thanks Geeque :)

When I first read Ms. Penn's email, I immediately thought of that scene in Daddy's Little Girls where Gab Union's friends were getting on her for dating "the Driver." :-)

Or Even Sanaa Lathan's reluctance to date the white guy in Something New. Your friends can easily influence you since they're your friends. They're always in our ear. I wouldn't introduce them to him until you've discussed your feelings about their views some more. If they still won't budge or approach it with an open mind, then they don't need to meet.

We all want our friends to like or approve of our man or woman, but they shouldn't dictate who you date..and only you know what and who makes you happy. I'm not going to say all your friends are terrible people, and I'm sure they have your best interest at heart for the most part. Just give them some time to wise up, and if they don't, keep it movin.

annamaria said...

@Ms.Penn sounds like the only ones that are "beneath you" are your "friends". Keep your UPS dude & ditch the hater squad. Sounds like they aren't good friends or looking out for your best interests!

Anonymous said...

I must admit that I am torn on this one! While I do agree that education and a job DO NOT define a man, and from what I have read, I think it is great that your new found friend exhibits all of these great gentlemanly characteristics, I think the bigger question that needs to be addressed is, what does this man envision for himself? Where does he see himself in five, three heck even one year. I don't care if you have a seventh grade education , to me you have to show me you have a plan! What does he want out of life? What are his personal goals and aspirations? Once you learn this...be damned at what other people think! To me Ms. Penn, you sound like a progressive and open minded person, you should always surround yourself with people who are the same! If this man embodies the very qualities that you find to be priceless, regardless of whatever he puts on his resume, then you, like they say on the street, are good money! As this "relationship" is fairly new…enjoy life and have fun! Holla at me in a year so I can see what you crazy kids have been up to! Ciao

Floyd

Yolanda said...

Good point Floyd.

I think we've all been trained that we have to have some type of plan because we've been taught to climb higher... start at McDonald's washing lettuce, next week fries, next month register, next year ownership.

But, what if your plan is to work at UPS? What if you're happy there, make a good living, like your co-workers and that's it? My father's driven a bus for 30+ years. That's what he does. My Mom worked for Verizon for 29 years. She did move up in the company but she worked for the same company for her whole "grown" career. I think their plan was to be happy in life and keep food on the table. I think our generation (particularly the college folk) has been taught that you can't work the same job more than 5 years, let alone a lifetime. You have to have a plan to run the world.

But, what if you don't? What if your plan is just being happy where you are?

I struggle with this all the time.

Brooke said...

You make a great point Yolanda! I struggle with it too.

I love my job, and I have no desire to run A&E one day. I don't want it. There are some who are driven to run the world, and there are those who are perfectly content doing the same thing day in and day out because it's what makes them happy. When you love what you do, your work becomes your play.

If your plan is to buy a house and raise a family, maybe take a couple vacations a year and that's it - then as long as you both share the same plan, then you should be good. If one of you wants to run the world and the other one supports that goal - then you two don't have to be equally ambitious so long as you both are going in the same direction.

Ms. Penn said...

@Floyd,

My friend has been working for UPS for about 10 years now, and he says he loves it. It gives him the flexibility to do what he loves, which is travel. My friends joke that he's not cultured, but he's been all over the Caribbean, to Africa, Italy, Spain and all over the states. He travels alone on a whim, plays sports, can cook and loves to try different foods and genuinely has a good time. That's one of the things I'm attracted to - his adventurous spirit.

I've dated guys who have the means to do all those things, but they don't, because they were stick in the muds. They had no sense of adventure. They didn't work as hard, and didn't take nearly as many vacations. I had to beg them to leave NYC! And alot of them were cheap, whereas my new guy is very generous, and comes up with great ideas for dates at a moment's notice.

Yes, he listens to rap - but so do I! And they do too. He's not "hoo" - he's just not "metro" either. He'd prefer to wear sneakers and boots rather than shoes, doesn't own a suit and has never had a manicure. But he's always put together, just not in the GQ man sense. And I think his ruggedness is sexy. He speaks slang, but knows how to put a sentence together. He just prefers to be himself, and I think that's refreshing than all these other arrogant assholes who act like THEY are the girl in the relationship. I believe it's called "bitchassness" from your previous blogs :)

I just feel like he's a real man. Not because he's not "metro" but because he's not afraid to be himself and doesn't care what others think. He takes care of his responsibilities, and wants to be a great husband and father one day. He supports me and encourages me and isn't itimidated by me or anyone else. That is what makes a real man and why I'm drawn to him.

Anonymous said...

Yolanda, I struggle with this too! But I think this is the direction of our western, capitalist society ! Years ago the city jobs and jobs at verizon were great jobs...but now a days with the number of people getting advanced degrees and the requirements to get the same city jobs and verizon jobs have changed and people without these degrees are being left behind! If your goal is to be happy...more power to you but please be conscientious that the guy with the 29 years of service and the highschool diploma is being passed by the 23 year old kid with the college degree working on his MBA. My pops is a retired police captain and in order for him to make Captain he was required to get his degree. My point is happiness can only get you but so far in life...how happy can you be if you peaked and can't move beyond certain points. I am happy with the thought that me going to school and busting my ass everyday to get my degree and secondary degree will help me secure a better way of living and I am not talking only on an economic level...I am talking on a social level as well. As a soon to be parent, I am a role model for my daughter. She is going to see that dad and mom did it...shit why can't I? Isn't that one of the reasons why we are so proud to see Barack where he is? It gives our children a vision as to what they can be. Again, I am a different man with different goals in life, which is why I will tell my daughter, whatever man she plans to be with, make sure he has a plan for himself and goals to be progressive. If he is the trash man...then make sure that trash man a) treats you right and b) wants to progressive. We would be kidding ourselves if we all desired to be stagnant! You said it yourself that your mom moved up through the ranks at verizon...as human beings we all strive for growth and wisdom! That is simply human nature! I am certain your father did the same driving the bus for all those years! He had a plan, which was (possibly) if I drive this bus for x amount of years I will be able to do this that and the third!

My only advice to Ms. Penn is to see where dude's head is at and go from there! If the guy treats you right and plans on working UPS with no plan to be progressive then, maybe I too am judgmental, cause I wouldn’t bother with a person like that. Now on the other hand if he comes to me and says I DRIVE THIS TRUCK CAUSE IT is a means for me to do X Y or Z then I may rock with you cause it shows me there is a plan! Do you agree?

Floyd

Stef said...

does he have a brother? I mean, not for me...but uh...for my "friend" :-) LOL!

And what does "being progressive" mean exactly?

Anonymous said...

Then Ms. Penn, I have no further comment! That is all that is important!

Brooke said...

That's a hard one Floyd, because there are some jobs where progressing means different things, or there is no "next step."

Say you love teaching 1st grade. What if that's all you want to do, educate young children? You don't want to be the principal or be the head of the school board - you simply want to teach first grade - then what?

I think we have to define success on our own terms. What if teaching first grade affords you the flexibility to be off in the summer and all holidays so that you could spend time with your family and not have to worry about child care in the summer? I actually considered teaching for that very reason (but decided against it because I have no patience) :-) And if spending more time with your family allows your spouse to reach their goals, then it's a win-win for your family.

I think sometimes we allow someone else's idea of success interfere with our own. There's nothing wrong with not wanting the responsibility of running the world if your priorities are somewhere else. If the UPS guy likes that he can make alot of money delivering packages and gets great benefits, and the perks are that he has a schedule that allows him to travel, then I think that works for him - because that's what his passion is. Ms. Penn can go on to rule the world, he can continue to work for UPS, and so long as their roles are defined, they respect each other and have similar goals when it comes to the life and family they want - I don't see anything wrong with it.

Anonymous said...

Progressive to me means a person that is willing to be, as Ms. Penn states, adventurous, independent, strong, and knowledgeable! A free thinker who encourages debate. One who welcomes all ideas no matter how erroneous they may sound! That is my definition of progressive! A leader!

Floyd

Jay said...

I totally agree Brooke, you said it perfectly.

I think as a man, sometimes we have trouble when the woman is perceived to be more successful than we are, simply because men are supposed to be the bread winners and providers. But a man can STILL be those things, even if he doesn't make more money than she does. Being the head of your household doesn't mean you make more money. It means you make good decisions for your family. You can make more money and still not be man enough to run your home.

It sounds to me like Ms. Penn respects him as a man and doesn't try to emasculate him simply because she has 2 degrees. If you make him feel validated, appreciated, needed and wanted - then that man will move mountains for you and give you the world.

Anonymous said...

Agreed Brooke! My defintion of success is simply different! Please see my defintion of progressive, it is not limited to a Board room director, I mean it on all levels!

My philosphy in life though is that there is always a next step in every arena! Life requires evolution...we seek it all the time..even when we don't know it?

Floyd

Stef said...

Well, if this dude is open to taking her to plays, travels and open to try new and exciting things, then he sounds progressive to me! Go for it Ms. Penn!

Yolanda said...

Yeah, does he have a 2nd brother...or a very closely-minded UPS colleague?

Does Jay have a brother? An old son? A young father?

You see where I'm going with this...

Brooke said...

Success is different for different people, so we agree Floyd. And progressive doesn't have a title. It sounds like UPS guy is progressive in his own way, just like I may be progressive in mine.

And change is inevitable, but growth is optional on some level. How we grow and where we grow is also different for everyone. In relationships, you grow everyday, either towards each other or away from. Growth may not come in your career, but you may evolve as a parent, or a spouse. That growth could simply be to learn new things outside of work, or outside of your relationship. Just like success is defined differently by different people, so is growth and being progressive. The trick is to find someone whose definitions match your own.

Jay said...

@Yolanda,

lol...sorry, no old son (no kids), a brother who is married and my father is married to my mother - so sorry!

But UPS dude may be able to come through for you! lol

Ms. Penn said...

@Yolanda,

I'll ask him - he has great friends, and a few of them ARE single. I'll see if I can hook you and Brooke up since you both are friends in my head :-)

(I stalk the blog, today was my first day commenting. It was fun!)

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