Wednesday, August 19, 2009

WTF Wednesday!

Happy Hump Day!

Actually, today, we're gonna call it WTF Wednesday, cuz I have a bit of a rant brewing.

Now, you know I'm tryna be up in the gym as much as possible so I can hang with Ms. Monica and her triathlon ass. Can somebody please "splain me why" there are bare naked ladies runnin' all up and through?

I'm not shy in the ladies locker room. I change into my gym clothes, and if you happen to catch a glimpse of a nipple or a left cheek, so be it. We should all be secure enough within ourselves to not have a problem being nude in front of anyone.

But damn y'all...some of the things I see.

First and foremost, if Aunt Flo is in town, don't prance your naked ass around the locker room with a tampon string dangling between your legs. That's just gross. I know I made y'all throw up in your mouth a little bit just now, but I saw that last night and just had to speak on it.

Second, everyone knows the gym-issued towels are paper thin and about as big as a washcloth, so stop trying to wrap it around your ass. Grab like 4 or 5 of them bad boys and at least PRETEND like you're trying to cover up. Geesh!

I'm not a prude by any means. I don't have a problem with naked ladies around me. I don't have a problem with "big boneded" naked ladies around me. I don't have a problem with jiggly naked ladies around me. After all, I am one. We all have the same thing. I get it.

But I take issue with the ones who sit their bare naked asses on your towel on the bench, or who use the communal Conair gym blow dryer to dry their snatch. Yes...I've seen it!

I don't need to have you all up in my space showing me your girlie bits, your wobbly bits, your itty bitty titties or your big ole bazoobas. Stay out of my personal space and my line of sight. Stop bending over so that your ass is all up in my face as you dry-shave your legs while I sit on the bench next to you tying my shoelaces. Stop plucking the hairs out of your chin in front of the mirror while sweat is running down your crotch. Go put some damn clothes on and keep it movin'! Get in, get out! And get your breastesses off me!

You ain't at home! WTF!!!???

Okay...I'm done.


p.s. Feel free to add your own rant here for WTF Wednesday :-)


Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...


Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

[Doing the Beat it up Dance]

And I actually read the joint...unlike Dmoe!!!!

Brooke.... wtf is up with the gay dude being all friendly and shyt in the gym...and why do they stay extra naked..xtra long... and just be extra extra...with extra conversation... and extra shyt... and extra grooming... nigga why you exfoliating in the gym with your punk ass.

I'm not a homophobe... I'm just saying!!

Georgia Peach said...

LMAO...this blog is HYSTERICAL. We used to have a meeting at my fmr job that E.Payne's wife referred to as WTF Wednesday meetings b/c we always heard some depressing bit of news every single meeting.

As far as the blow drying your snatch - that's just trifling...ugh hope I don't ever see that over here in Europe. GROSS. I don't think I can ever go to the gym...btw I HATE BALLY'S. THEY ARE THE WORST and they won't let me out of my mf'g contract even tho I'm a half a hemisphere away from my gym on 33rd btwn 7th and Bway. THEY SUCK! OK...that was my rant and it was sort of on topic.



PS...I really need to be studying instead of setting up dinner did I end up as the social organizer person?

Brooke said...

Pretty Ricky was FIRST!!! What??!!

Bally's is the stepchild of gyms, at least here in NY anyway. The Ballys that I go to in PA are WAY better! :)

I heard about the gay dudes in the gym...just lingering and whatnot.

Lesbians do it too. There was one in my old gym that would literally sit in the locker room for like 2 hours, eating lunch, just chillin - NEVER WORKED OUT! AND she looked like a dude, so when you first walked in, you'd think a man was in there. Crazy!

Anonymous said...


Why is it that 80 year old men think it's cool to walk around nekkid lookin like nekkid turkey necks...keep your gobble that way...WTF...

why last night i found the only space available to park my car at liike 2am..thinking i was only come out this morning to find my car covered in teradactyl sh!*...WTF

How did my boss submit my annual review already and just asked me today to give her a list of the projects that i managed this did you make your bootleg as assessment...with a magic 8 ball....get the f&^%$ outta here with your broke azzz...WTF

Why people gotta walk up to my desk and try to sneak a peak at my screen before they ask me a question....WTF...i'm on Brookey Blog MotherFather..can i help you sheeeeeiii@!

It's your boy!!! Za WTF Buge!!!

-V- said...

Tampon string?

Word ???

I used to see Gov. Rendel's hairy, droopy, naked self at the Bellevue – not something I'd ever want anyone to see again. Though he's lost quite a bit of weight over the years (probably making a presidential run) but I digress.

Two words: shower shoes!

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

OH Yeah.. one mo

WTF.. Brett Favre... again? Seriously

Brooke said...

they called Favre old and tired in the newspaper today :)

Yes, V, a tampon string. I lie to you not. Gross.

Ed Rendel? ewwww!

Zay, you crazy :) Seems like everyone knew about the bird crap parking spot but you :)

DMoe said...

Pretty Rick,

Enjoy the fruits my friend, and don't worry, I wouldn't dream of hurling accusations at your accomplishment today. LOL.

As for the blog, I think people are just a LITTLE TOO comfortable in certain spaces. I don't want nobody honing in on my goods, and I don't even want to THINK some dude might be. It just doesn't feel right.

I change, I work out, I shoot, I get into towel, I shower, I get back into towel(s), I change, I roll out. End of story.

If your loitering, your "waiting" on something. If your waiting on something in a men's locker room, that's a problem.

As for the women's locker room, Brooke made them chicks seem just like "Porky's". I've heard these sorts of grumblings from the ladies locker room before, and I wish there was a database for these violators. You know, like a "watch list"...LOL.

DMoe aka Quick
(quick as in fast? No. Quick as in quick to whip somebody's azz)

Brooke said...

sometimes I look around like "is anyone else seeing this?" There's usually a woman in her own world like she's at home in her own bathroom, and the rest of the women are looking at her like "WTF???" it's not just me. Makes no damn sense.

Annamaria said...

OKAY I decided to sneak a peep at todays blog while Sophia is napping & I have to say I threw up a lil.. NASTINESS...LOL..
Damnit just when I was about to say I want to go to the gym when the dr gives me clearance you convince me not to! lol

Austin avoids the locker rooms at Bally's like he's going to catch an infection just by entering..LOL

Rameer said...

Meryl - that's just NASTY. You got some nasty-a$$ folk at your gym.

- Why come (yes, you read that right) my job keeps switching what time I start and when I end my shift this week? DAILY?? Like I don't have a personal life or any plans of my own? WTF!!!

- Brett Favre?? WTF?!?

- Greg Paulus is the QB of my beloved SU football team? WTF?!?

- Latinegro has a pic of him with a damned Black Lantern ring! WTF?!?

- Barack Obama as...HITLER?? WTF?!?

- The flamer dance on ABDC. WTF?!?

- People trying to tell you who you are, based off of looking at your Facebook page. WTF?!?

- My entire building knows I can't stand the Buffalo Bills, and have no love for T.O. other than to watch him in an actual game. So WHY do I get scheduled to shoot a commercial with him tomorrow, out of all of these people that I work with who want to drink his bath water?? WTF?!?

- Old guy at my job asks another guy behind my back "Why is he always cool with the cute chicks and interns? What's he got that I don't?" Um...YOUTH, MUDDAFUGGA!!! WTF?!?

- People digging their nose while driving in their car, like the rest of the world can't see them. WTF?!?

That's all I got. Gotta go back to work...but we should do this more often! Lolz!

Brooke said...

Maybe WTF Wednesdays will be a new feature :-)

Barack Obama is Hitler??? WTF??

I missed that one!

Yolanda said...

I opened a locker at my gym once and found a woman's wig in there.

That pretty much did it for me.

Rameer said...

Meryl - be glad you missed it. It's what these people marching outside of the town halls have been saying. And they've been holding up posters of him as Hitler...

Just an excuse for the racists to use an issue to show their true feelings/ignorance.

Brooke said...

Yolanda, you never fail to make me laugh out loud! LMAO!!!

Rameer, that's just pure fuckery.

They need to get a life.

Yolanda said...

A friend found a CONDOM on the floor inside his gym's locker room. NASTAYYYY!

Okay, rant time:
-People who don't READ schedules and always want to ask me "what time does this start"... or "what time are we leaving."

-Waiting for people when I already arrived late. "I'm a top level executive...respect my time" (LMAO)

-Getting knocked three steps back when I've been making so much progress on something

-Cleaning up after people

-All this week, the smell of some man's cologne has wafted from his hotel room into mine EVERY morning. It's driving me NUTS! (I mean, when he's MY man, then I love to smell him on my sheets...but that's another story)

-Not really feeling my "manager"... and she's visiting our office next week. I will be meditating at my desk, fo sho! Woosah woosah!

Brooke said...

People who marinate in perfume/cologne are the WORST!!!

Serena W. said...

Its late but I had to chime in!!!

Big dude on the Q9 bus in New York knowing he was too dag on big to sit next to me fit his big behind in the seat squishing me and the lady next to me!

As he sat down his butt rubbed against my arm just to sit down!!! Nasty!

Rolling home in VA at 10:45pm and pull up to my reserved paid for parking space to find someones lil grey Toyota Corolla parked IN MY SPACE! Ooooh heck no!

Got out and wrote a short note that said don't eva (yes you read right) eva park in my space again!

Favre??? Go to the old folks home please!

Blinged out rims in DC riding down Florida Avenue...oh did I forget to mention it was on a Kia!!!

Capital One calling me after I paid the dag on bill!


Ahhhhh that felt great! This should be a themed day!

Serena W. said...

McNasty women in the gym!!! Boo them!

Last WTF moment. Mom has been in the hospital, a friend calls another friend of mine and says, "I hope all is well with Serena. I would go visit her Mom but I just don't do hospitals!"

And my exact words to my friend was, "WTF!"

It could have been said differently. Sigh...

Okay I'm done ranting for the evening!

Brooke said...

Blinged out rims on a Kia?


And as for your friend, that's just wack. Nobody likes going to hospitals, but if it would make the person who's ill feel better, then you can suck it up. WACK!

Serena W. said...

Yes blinged out rims on a Kia and it is wackness to even say something like that and then not apologize for it.

Related Posts with Thumbnails