Monday, August 3, 2009
Happy Monday y'all!
As usual, I was clueless as to what to write about today. And I have no excuse considering I barely did anything this weekend. I was "nekkid" almost all day Saturday, just walking around carefree doing stuff around the house. I don't think I ventured out til Sunday evening around 8...and that was just to pick up cat food, etc. from Target.
It felt good doing nothing...and being nekkid :) I actually turned on the AC and felt the cool air on my body...nice! I didn't cover up, avoid any mirrors or make any faces at my imperfections. I actually stared at my skin in the mirror on Saturday. I still have the nice, brown tan I got in DR. VERY COOL :-)
As much as I know I need to tone up and shrink some areas of my body, I have no problem looking at my "wobbly bits." Do you remember that scene from Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason? Take a look:
I don't recall a time when I ever got dressed or undressed under the covers. Maybe I got dressed in the dark, stumbling around searching for my panties so I could make it home to shower and change and get to work on time...ahem...but that was about it. There was no "hiding."
I'd be hard-pressed to find someone that isn't self-conscious about some part of their body — even supermodels have insecurities. So when you're starting a new relationship and getting to know each other, especially in the bedroom, it can be incredibly intimidating to expose your flaws. Whether it's morning breath or cellulite, we're all self conscious a little bit in the beginning about something.
But I look at it like this - my hips don't lie. You see me. You can take a pretty good guess as to what I got going on under my clothes. And if you STILL wanna lay down with me, then what am I hiding for?
Nowadays, you can ask a woman what she’d like to change about her body and she will give you a list - Botox this, collagen here, lipo there, tighten this, lift that.
But as a woman who is very comfortable in her own skin, I want to give my body the respect it deserves and to stop judging it so harshly. I define my body by MY standards, not by what society says is okay. I love my body for what it is, rather than hate it for what it isn't or never will be.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in being healthy and strong. I think we should take better care of ourselves, and I could do better. And I am. I make strides everyday in that department, especially since I've been hanging with Miss Monica. She has inspired me with her triathlon training, and I'm enjoying the new things I'm making my body do as a result. My arms, my legs, my lungs, my heart - they never let me down, and they're getting stronger everyday.
My body is my temple...and because I view it that way, it can be HIS temple too. Worship my thighs. Kneel at my womanhood ;)
What I have found out over the years is that men tend to see in you what they love most. If you have a big backside - and he's an "ass man" - chances are he's not obsessing over the dimple you have there. Those heavy breasts you want lifted may make his mouth water if tig ole bitties is what he favors. In your eyes, he will detect the spirit you have chosen. Your smile AND frown both speak volumes. He will see you how YOU see you; and if you have an issue with your body, so will he.
If I'm too busy worried about what you think of my body, how can we both enjoy it? You see me, it's too late now. Clothes are off. We're here! Turn on the lights and take a good look. My body is a playground - swing on my swing, slide down my...
I'm not embarrassed by what anyone might see. I don't cringe at the sight of my naked body. Oddly enough, I don't like looking at myself in pictures, with clothes ON. How crazy is THAT?
But my brown, soft skin? I love it! My hands? I love getting manicures to show off my long, pretty fingers. My teeth are white and straight. I like wrapping my long, smooth, chocolate legs around a nice strong back. I love the way my bubbly breasts bounce when I have on a good bra that shows off my ample cleavage. I've even grown to accept my curly eyebrows. Yes...I said curly eyebrows!
Looking in the mirror, I see that it's quite possible to love everything in its reflection. I look at myself directly, and rather than risk the pain of experiencing everything I am not, I savor the sweetness of who I am.
On Saturday, the woman I saw was glowing! She was more than the sum of the color of her skin, the texture of her hair, and the shade of her knees and elbows. What she saw went beyond and deeper than a surface appreciation of beauty, a superficial measurement of self. What she saw was empowering. She didn't just consider her exterior, but also her heart.
She danced around to music playing in the background, "wobbly bits" whirling around with her, joyous and happy. She sang to her voluptuous curves...and they gave her a standing ovation. There was no shame or negative inner visions. She was beautiful, and whole and free.
She was me :-)