Monday, August 10, 2009
I had the BEST weekend! Don’t you just love it when that happens?! :-)
So yesterday, my good friends Dana and Steve (aka “The Pirate” for those of you in blog comment land) got married! Congrats to them! It was a fun day filled with love, family and friends - and I was so happy to be a part of their day.
Weddings always have this affect on me. I tear up at speeches and get all caught up with the “in love with love” feeling. I even caught the bouquet!
Okay…so she yelled, “Brooke!” and threw it at my face when I looked up, but hey…it’s still mine!
Anyway, in honor of Dana and Steve, I have a list of 10 little things to do to keep your sweetie happy and make the love last...from this woman’s perspective. These can go for men and women, but since I’ve known Dana longer…these are my suggestions for HER: :-)
1. Have sex…duh - but not just any ole sex…generous sex. Once or twice a week, make the sex be totally about pleasing the other person. Schedule it if you have to.
2. And have “before work” sex. Put the curling iron away and pull your hair back in a ponytail that day if it means having more time to get that morning nookie in. Who can go to work in a bad mood after good ole “before-work-morning sex?” Nobody! Send him to work happy everyday if you can :-)
3. And after you’ve had “before-work-morning sex” - shower together :-) You both have to get in there anyway right? And if you have a lil something left over, have sex in the shower too. I’m a big fan ;-)
4. Rub each other’s belly. This is a term I use to describe complimenting each other or bragging publicly about your baby. This is something that should be done daily if you ask me. Anything nice you have to say about your sweetie is never too small to mention. He has excellent taste in music or food, always opens doors for you, can hang a suit, is sexy enough to rock a pink shirt, has the cutest booty ever, his kisses make you weak in the knees, he can tell a great story and he makes you feel special? Tell him! Tell everyone! It’s a verbal love tap, and surely you can think of something sincere to say that’ll make him blush once a day. He’ll purr when you “rub his belly” the right way…and he will probably return the favor.
5. Laugh…hard and often. Laughter bonds you. It means you can genuinely have fun together and are totally comfortable with each other enough to just let go and let loose. Uninspired? Go see a funny movie together or rent one and cuddle on the couch and just giggle all night. You’ll feel like silly teenagers, and that’s a good thing.
6. Be the man sometimes. If your man always initiates dates, sex, whatever – then next time, YOU do it. Take the lead for once if you don’t already. Ask HIM on a date. Pick HIM up. Bring HIM flowers. Take the pressure off him and let him sit back and be romanced for a change. He’ll appreciate it...a lot :-)
7. Do something that gets your heart rate up. They say a pounding heart mimics new love – so go to an amusement park together and ride a scary roller coaster, or have sex some place where you may be discovered. Get that adrenaline going and rediscover that new love feeling :-)
8. Disappear together. Go somewhere where the kids, your mom, his boss and your needy friends can’t find you. Don’t get up, order in and lay in bed all weekend. Any time spent together - just the two of you - is special and mandatory.
9. Disappear alone. Have your own set of friends and spend some time apart every once in a while. It’s great if you share hobbies and have common interests, but going out and spending a weekend with the girls will give him a chance to miss you. You will feel recharged, he will have had some time to do whatever it is he does when you’re not around, you’ll both be relaxed and you will remind him of the free-spirited single girl he fell in love with who doesn’t need to be up under him all the time. And it’s not like you have to “go away” somewhere to do your own thing. Go to a party together and mingle separately. It screams confidence, independence (while still being near each other) and you two can get busy at the “after party.”
10. Share your dreams with each other. You should be able to let your imagination run wild together and share your goals and aspirations freely. Want to be a rock star one day? Tell him. Does he want to start his own business? You should be his biggest cheerleader. Dream with him, and help him make it happen. Can you imagine Barack saying to Michelle, “Hey, I think I wanna be the President of the United States one day.” She was right there with him all the way. After he shares his dreams, rub his belly…"You can do it baby! I got your back. That’s MY man!” The bigger the dream, the better - you can do anything together!
Now, I’ve never been married, so who knows if my Top 10 list is reasonable. So if you’re a married couple - or in a long term relationship - and can add to this list, please feel free to offer up any and every anecdote you can for our newlyweds.
Congrats again Dana and Steve! I wish you both nothing but love and happiness that lasts a lifetime!