Hillary for President!
8 years ago
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Happy Tuesday!
I saw this as my friend Patrick's FB status today and it made me laugh a bit:
"Aiyo! You in that fuchsia dress!! Gawwd Daamn! You've got a badonka-donk!! I just wanna smack dat and ride in the waves!!!" --Tracy Morgan
That was bad, but I can picture Tracy Morgan's face as he says it and I just start laughing. Even if he isn't always funny, he's funny looking at least :-)
I've heard some doozies in my day when it comes to pick up lines. The best "worst" ones usually come from short dudes who want to show me that they're not intimidated by my 5'10" frame.
"Yo Ma, I'd love to climb that tree!"
Not very original, but they get cool points for mustering up the nerve to say anything...no matter how cornball it is. I mean...I know I'm tall...but c'mon son.
I know sometimes men have a hard time approaching women, so they feel that strolling up to us armed with a great pick-up line will get them "in there." Why men still believe in pick-up lines is beyond me, but hey - if you believe in them and you need them in your life in order to get our phone number, then at least be creative...and confident...with them.
Even the funniest pick-up line can fall flat if you don't display any confidence...or at least smile. Sometimes, no matter what you say - if we don't "believe"you, it won't work. Once a guy said to me, "Can you spare a few minutes so I can hit on you?" He asked me like he was asking if I wanted cheese on my burger or something. No "ummph." It could have been cute if he flashed his brilliant smile with a sparkle in his eyes - but no such luck - he didn't deliver the line correctly. You don't have to be Chris Rock or Tracy Morgan to get a laugh - but if "funny" isn't your strong suit, then simply say "hello."
Even if you aren't the cutest guy in the crowd, funny will win us over usually...or at the very least, keep the conversation going. One guy who wasn't necessarily my type, but who had a gentle, pleasant face said to me once, "Excuse me, but my friend wants to know if you think I'm cute." He said it with such confidence with this huge grin on his face that just screamed "I'm cute, lick my face!" His delivery was adorable, and I couldn't help but laugh. He was a delight to talk to and I wound up giving him my number.
However, it's one thing to deliver a cute, funny line...and another to do a stand-up routine right there on the spot. You got a laugh - don't push it. Nothing is more of a turn-off than a dude who is trying to be TOO funny, or who is more concerned with perfecting his routine than actually getting to know you. Pick-up lines are to break the ice, and the subsequent conversation is FAR more important than the opening line. If you start stringing together a bunch of pick-up lines together as your entire conversation, then you'll end up sounding like you're getting dating advice from your 12 year old brother.
Oh, and stay away from dirty jokes/opening lines too. You might get slapped...and you come off as a bit creepy. Jus sayin.
Rule of thumb for pick-up lines - keep it short, clean and simple - and funny and creative. We've heard them all before - trust me - so make sure your line reflects your personality and not something you heard in a movie. There's only one Denzel...and this ain't the movies.
Most times, a man can get a feel from a woman on if she wants him to come over and talk to her. She'll give him an inviting smile with a twinkle in her eyes that goes along with her lingering glance - in which case an opening line may not be necessary. If a woman isn't attracted to you, then it won't matter what you say unless your opening line is "I just hit the Mega Millions." So don't take offense if your best line falls on deaf ears. She's just not that into you.
Same goes for you ladies.
But if she's giving you the "come over here Big Daddy" look, then slapping your on your best smile and a little bit of confidence is all you need to simply come up to her and say...hello.
-b
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39 comments:
first Bitches
I think the funniest pickup line I ever got was "yo what up shorty"
Why was that funny??? Cuz the guy was shorter than me.. Which would clinically make him a midget... LMAO
I looked at him like REALLY... I'm looking down at you & you gonna call ME short??????? REALLY??????????
Dammit! I could have been first, but I was getting error messages! Damn it Annamaria!
Men are so funny with their pick up lines.
"You look like my next girlfriend."
I was like, "did you get that from Hitch?"
Please don't get your lines from movies, cuz it makes you look LAME! LOL!
Hey Sweet Thang,
Can I buy you a fish sammich?
Wow, if he was shorter than Annamaria, then he WAS a midget :)
excuse me..."small person."
What are you Annamaria? like 4'11"? :)
Vince, I'd actually laugh at that and grab you :) You're so cute :)
So let me get this right. When I say "Gimme yo' numba so I can stalk you!" women don't like that?
No wonder I've been dateless.
:-)
Girl,
Is your father a terrorist?
'Cuz YOU DA BOMB BABY !!!
Hi. They call me The Fury. I just won PowerBall *holds up ticket* and need to figure out what to do with all this money. *ticket bursts into flames after being held too close to the bar candle* Hi They call me The Fury, you mind paying for my drink?
See, those pick up lines only work if you're fine - otherwise you're just a cornball :)
"you da bomb"? LOL!!
Why do men feel the need to come up with this stuff anyway? Why is "hello" so hard for them!?
Brooke just cuz you 7 foot 3 don't mean you have to make fun of us short people...NO TOYS FOR YOU! lol
I'm with Annamaria on the "shorty" the dude was so short when I went to turn around I didn't see him. I had on my 3 inch heels that night at the club years back. He tapped me and I looked down. OMG!!! He got an "E" for effort but a no no from me!
Another bad thing...don't start singing to me and you can't hold a tune. Worst song sung to me as a pick up line while I'm driving in my Jeep was a dude singing, "You remind me of my jeeeeeep..."
What the!!!! Leave that song to R. Kelly and leave me and my jeep out your mouth!
Hilarious. I would love to hear from the guys to see if they have gotten whack lines from women. Curious.
LMAO V has me cracking up!
The things guys come up with are just rediculous sometimes.
Tip: referring to me as food is not the move i.e "mmmmm meat and potatoes...come here girl!" WHAT?! Meat and potatotes?! Really?! lmao
thickems...thickness...red bone... light skin... all not cute ways to address me.
But my all time favorite is when they try to bring jesus into it... "GOD BLESS YOU MA" and it's never a dude that looks like he just left chuch lmao.
LMAO at "God bless you, Ma"
Women don't really throw lines. They throw looks then make us approach. It's rough for some men, that's why they have to resort to lines. Women don't have to deal with the rejection like men.
Usually if a woman throws a line, it's because se's less than desireable anyway.
"ooooh, who are you? Are you a star?" #fail
"Mmmm look at you all chocolate and sexy. What yo name is?" #fail
Brooke,
I hit tall girls with, "Sweety, let me just take you in the paint and post you up!"
Excuse me Miss, can I interest you in an evening of hot sex and hot pizza? No.
Well if you don't like the pizza we can always do Chinese!
@ Fury's chocolate line....
A woman once came onto Powerz (in front of me I might add) by saying he looked like a chocolate hershey bar.....LMAO
A young woman came up to me and asked me "How I was doing?"
I replied "Fine"
She said "why yes you are!"
My ego was a little inflated at that point!
FB
Men are so easy :-)
How I usually strike up a conversation with a guy is pretending like I know him from somewhere - like" did you go to Syracuse?" When he says no, I just smile and say" oh well, seems I wouldn't forget a smile like that" :-)
He was open :-)
I'm sure it's better than" hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?" :-)
Run!
Men are so easy :-)
How I usually strike up a conversation with a guy is pretending like I know him from somewhere - like" did you go to Syracuse?" When he says no, I just smile and say" oh well, seems I wouldn't forget a smile like that" :-)
He was open :-)
I'm sure it's better than" hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?" :-)
Run!
This one girl started to call me Nestle Snipes and that nickname stuck with me!
Nestle cause I am all chocolate and she said I probably taste good too! I love flirty women!
FB
I'm dancing at a club and this guy approaches me and says "Excuse me my friend would love to dance with you, but he's deaf so i came over to ask you>" I'm like Ok sure, but i don't know sign language. Would you translate? friend says sure. deaf guy walks over and says," sorry, i'm not really deaf i just didn't know how to approach such a beautiful woman such as your self. we both laughed and danced all night.
I've never had "lines". No, seriously - EVER. If I ever have said "lines", it's corny things I've heard girls tell me guys say or from hearing a dude say it in front of me (which usually makes me bust out laughing and/or clown him on the spot). And those lines I'm usually saying comically to women I already know...
You know how I used to be able to start up a convo with a woman the easiest? When one of my boys are family members would dare me to do it or send "in" to get the 411 or break the ice. Somehow, being sent on a direct mission was always easier than just approaching a girl at my own behest alone. Oh, I still had no problem doing THAT either - but if my brother (for example) would be like "Dag, who is THAT? She's shootin' down mad dudes. Bet you can't break through on THAT one", it was on. I'd be guaranteed to know her whole background, haver her address, number AND next time we would see each other by the end of the night.
My favorite line in regards to this - Nas once said "I got no game - it's just some b****es understand my story". I used to quote that ALL THE TIME...ask Serena! I'm sure she'll agree I wasn't exactly Smooth-Line Louie. But I never had an issue with breaking the ice with women - it's something that's always come natural to me.
I honestly don't even THINK about it. Which, ironically, may be while I've tended to be successful in meeting and getting to know women - I'm just myself, and speak naturally.
Hell, I did it TODAY, come to think about it - twice! Lmao!!
Smooth Line Louie!!! FUNNY!!!
Annamaria did you knock the chick out after she stepped to Powerz?
Brooke you are a fly girl!
Stephanie that is a first! WOW!!!!
I'm going to need the girls to step up their game but hey if a man gets off with you calling him fine then so be it. LOL!
I started to take my taser out. But considering she was old, fat & ugly.... I let her giggle, then I said YES HE IS & walked away with my man... lol
HAHAHAHAHA!
How about - You the baddest bitch in here!!
Just straight up!! LOL
If someone calls me a bitch at first meeting (or at all) - then it's a wrap!
I love how Rameer either "always" does something, or "never" does anything :) LOL!
I caught my wife with just one word...WOW!
No games, nothing slick, just a straight Wow!
To this day she said that is the most honest reaction she ever received from a man!
I never had any game to begin with. Never been witty enough to come up with things on the fly! Once you get me going, I have great conversation, but never been the ice breaker guy!
Floyd
I've never been good with pick-up lines. "Hello" just seems like the natural thing to say when approaching someone. All that other stuff is just (wack) game. I guess whatever works for different people, but I don't think I'm smooth enough for all those lines, etc.
@ Stef - it's quite simple. If I can relate, I tell a tale/give an example of how I can. If not, I don't pretend to.
Many times I don't comment at all on things I have no experience with or have no opinion on. So if the way I comment on the blog is something that stands out in your mind, I'm glad I got your attention.
I *like* attention. ;-)
Yo stef get at me boo!!
I bet you do Rameer! :-) LOL!
Your wife IS stunning Floyd - lucky man :)
How is baby Brooke doing? :)
Stef doesn't do thugs, remember? :)
But I'm not a Thug, I just play one on TV... LOL
Thank you Brooke! Anyone who calls themself "ThugFoLife" is NOT for me :-) LOL!
*himself
I think the worst pick up line is the "have we met before" or "do I know you from somewhere." I don't use pick up lines on women I usually just say hello or wave...if I don't get a friendly response I keep it moving.
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