Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Young and the Reckless

Happy Hump Day everyone!

I have a guest blogger today! You may have seen her in the comments as "E Jack," but I know her as Elizabeth Jackson - my friend and illustrious co-worker :-) She has some thangs on her mind, so let's get to it!

The Young and the Reckless...by Elizabeth Jackson.

I don’t normally listen to 105.1 in the mornings, but something told me to change the dial yesterday.

There is a segment on The Ed Lover Show called “Paternity Test Tuesdays.” As soon as I heard the title, I rolled my eyes in spite of myself; what kind of buffoonery are my people up to today? Regardless of the title, I was intrigued. I know I’m not the only one who loves trash TV and scratches my neck while tapping my forearm if I don’t get my daily fix of Bossip, Mediatakeout, and Perez Hilton. Once you get past the mediocre intro, all you need to do is sit back with a bowl of popcorn and watch the train-wreck go by.

So I listened.

…and listened.

And the more I listened, the angrier I got.

Picture this. A young couple named Carlene and Marc. They met four years ago but have been together for the past three. They have a beautiful baby together and were talking about finally jumping the broom. Marc is in the military and was stationed overseas for the past year and a half. Unfortunately for any first-time father, the baby was born while he was serving. You would think that upon reuniting with his family, they would be enthusiastically planning the wedding to become a family

You’d be wrong.

Marc has reason to believe that the baby is not his – even though she got pregnant BEFORE he was shipped out. He even claims that the promise ring she has on her finger is not “for marriage.”

Say whaaaaat????

Marc wants a paternity test. He said the baby was born while he was in Germany and that she told him that she was pregnant a month after he left. He doesn’t want to start acting like a father if it’s not his.

Carlene doesn’t understand why. Of COURSE she wouldn’t know she was pregnant right away - so why would he even question her fidelity? If they were together for three blissful years and she loves him with all of her heart, why would she cheat?

The calls start rolling in. I can “understand” why the men would stick together in this situation, but the women? Yes, it IS 2010 and yes there ARE shiesty scallywags out there - but where is the trust? He trusted her enough to talk about putting a ring on it, so why the sudden change of heart?

I’ll tell you why.

Because he cheated on her in Germany! Yes people, he admitted live on the radio that he couldn’t resist the urge to “pipe his privates with his privates” and is transferring his guilt onto her.

Yet still the callers agreed with him.

Am I the only one who sees a problem with this?

Ed Lover dramatically asks for the envelope. The results are in and guess what?

*In the words of Maury’ Povich*

99.999% accurate – you ARE the father!

Yay!

Wait – did I clap too soon?

Really?

John will take care of his son - but needs a second opinion?

Ignorance is not bliss.

SMDH…

Link to the audio here (in three parts):

-Liz

57 comments:

Annamaria said...

First Fuckers

Stef said...

LMAO!!!

I can't even be mad at Annamaria beat me, I just had to laugh at that :)

ejackson said...

Such language annamaria! :-P

The Cable Guy said...

Are we the only ones that don't mind being called "bitches" and "fuckers" on a daily basis? LOL!

I didn't hear this yesterday, but I DID listen to Hot 97 this morning where the woman called in and asked what she should do because she is pregnant and there are 3 possible fathers. She had a boyfriend, and wants HIM to be the father - and the female dj said to tell him that it's HIS and don't mention the other two possibles.

This is why men question paternity.

I know this blog was more about trust than "who is my baby daddy?", but I don't get these damn people.

Annamaria said...

OK...I listen to this every week on my way to work on Tuesdays. I'm addicted. Thanks to the LIRR being all screwed up Austin got to hear the baffoonary yesterday.

ANYWHO. Personally I was going to say I didn't believe it was his either.... We all know people (not only men...Not only women) do some shit. Last week we had a Dear Brooke from a woman who didn't know who the father of her baby was (not judging just referencing...) and like I said I listen to it every week. MANY a woman has sat in that studio SWEARING this was the only man they had ever been with.. (one chick said the only other option would have been Jesus Christ himself..LOL) and it turned out that the dude they dragged into the studio wasn't the father. Yes he was WRONG for cheating on her & I'm sure that's where his insecurities came from BUT he was in another country so he doesn't know what she was doing out here. Shit people get cheated on when their significant other is down the block so who's to say she was faithful?

The reason I suspected her was because she put up a hell of a fight & kept on fighting & fighting. And in my experience with that show the more they fight the less likely it is that the dude is the father! lol Sad but true. Personally I'd be like Go ahead test her & not say a damn thing after that. Once the results are in I'd be like OK now you have your proof you can make the check out to Annamaria ONE WORD NOT TWO..LOL
My only problem is the dude was stupid when he said he wanted a second opinion... RETARD... lol

Annamaria said...

@Cable Guys comment.

That is some straight NONSENSE... and the hot 97 host should be shot in her pinky toe for suggesting that deception...

ejackson said...

i guess that nowadays people don't have trust like they use to...

would it be different if they were already married? would he be wrong to question her then? i guess what got to me was the fact that it was revealed she got pregnant BEFORE he left for Germany and they were talking marriage. they have been together for 3 years, you would hope he could trust her by then...

ejackson said...

if leonard EVER questioned the paternity of our non-existent child, i would give him a dna test...then break up with him for being so foolish!

Brooke said...

I have found that when people are doing dirt, they think everyone is. Most people who lie think everyone is lying to them. Most people who cheat walk around paranoid that they're being cheated on. They're projecting their faults onto other people, and tney fear the very thing they're doing.

I heard that mess on Hot 97 this morning too. If I wasn't sure who the father was, I'd have to take the L and risk losing the guy in the beginning. I'd be too afraid he'd find out later, and I wouldn't be able to enjoy my pregnancy cuz I'd be stressed the entire time wondering who the father was. If you're woman enough to sleep with 3 men unprotected in a short period of time, then be woman enough to accept the consequences. As I listened to her on the radio this morning, I thought about my Dear Brookey from last week and was wondering if it was an epidemic.

Happens more than we suspect I guess.

Jay said...

I hear what you're saying Liz about trust, but if you ask me, I think men are a bit TOO trusting in this area. The only time we question the child usually is if she's a jumpoff or if we don't want to be with her. Most dudes who are in love or sprung or whatever don't question it because their feelings are involved and we think no one could possibly be hittin' it but us. That's our ego talking. I know a FEW dudes who were so into the woman and thought she was such a "good girl" that they never bothered to get the test - didn't even blink when she said she was pregnant.

Only to find out later that the child wasn't theirs.

I understand what you're saying about trust, and in this dude's case, he probably had no reason to believe otherwise and was projecting his guilt for cheating onto her. But you can never be too sure these days unless you're in a relatively long term, exclusive relationship. The only way I probably WOULDN'T test the child is if the woman is my wife.

ArrElle said...

Hey I want a second opinion that Annamarie is actually first FUCKERS LMAO
Btw just to let the Bloggers know its on n poppin now that I have my blackberry I'm comin for the First spot trust motha!! LOL

The Cable Guy said...

Personally, I think paternity tests should be done on the spot in the hospital, but that's just me. I got one done on my son, just to be sure.

ejackson said...

@ jay. I understand. I know a few people who got caught out there but like you said - they were wither a jumpoff or not in an exclusive relationship.

i guess i was just raised differently.

i just feel bad for her - especially since after being together for three years, it was proven that the child was his and he STILL was trippin

ArrElle said...

Back to todays topic I totally agree with Brooke on how ppl will project their faults onto you if u let them
In todays society it seems that all morals have gone by the
Wayside straight to hell I mean too much fuckery not enuff luv n trust

I'm out for now

Jay said...

@Liz,

Well, he was an asshole. It happens. She's better off without him. Trust.

Hopefully he'll take care of his son and grow up.

@Brooke,

I heard that He Said/She Said on Hot 97 this morning too and couldn't believe that another woman was advising this woman to lie. That's the scandalous ish men are afraid of. That's how a dude might catch a case. One woman was like "well, by then, he will have gone through a pregnancy with you and grown attached to the baby, so he probably won't leave you then."

What kind of f*cked up sh*t is that??

So now a dude will be traumatized and distraught because a kid he watched being born and has been taking care of and loves is NOT his? I'd kill her, and you'd never know where to find the body.

Annamaria said...

I don't remember her revealing to him that she was preggers before he left to Germany BUT in any case that doesn't necessarily mean that she was faithful either. NOR does being married cuz last weeks paternity test chick was married & the baby turned out to be some dude she was messing with cuz her husband was in jail.. (totally different topic)

@Brooke you may be woman enough to come clean with a dude but not all women are like that. There are MORE women that will let a dude think that kid is his than will admit she did dirt.

If a man has questions let him test the kid. If it's his child no harm no foul. Then move on in whatever capacity with life & make sure that child is taken care of & raised right. I don't see why it would be such a big deal.. Again unless it wasn't his..LOL

Annamaria said...

@Jay...I'd lend you my taser & my backyard to bury the body! LMAO....
That was some FUCKED UP shit. And the host just proved herself to be a trifflin heifer also.

ArrElle said...

Paternity tests should be the law; otherwise mandatory
Michael Baisden had a show re paternity. I couldn't even fathom the idea of setting up a man just for checks my conscience will be kicking my a**

Brooke said...

We once did an A&E Special called "Deadly Dads." It was basically about the Scott Peterson trial, but was bookended by similar stories like Mark Hacking and Ray Carruth. The stats in the special revealed that MURDER was the number one cause of death in pregnant women - not anything to do with childbirth, or complications, etc...but MURDER - by the husbands/boyfriends/baby daddys.

Since hearing that, you could NEVER convince me to try to set a dude up as the father - cuz I'd be afraid he'd have me shot and then try to escape by hiding in someone's trunk.

Annamaria said...

1. If a woman ever goes missing or gets murdered 99.9999999% of the time it's at the hands of her boyfriend/baby daddy/husband etc

2. IF I ever go missing or get murdered.. POWERZ DID IT... LOL I don't care if I'm 105 years old he had SOMETHING to do with it...Make sure he gets investigated B...


All jokes aside a bond with your child is VERY special. I never understood it completely until Sophia. And when I see Powerz with the kids it touches my heart. Even the way Sophia gets cranky sometimes & the only person she wants is Powerz. Only her daddy can make her feel better. So for anyone to violate that is just WRONG. And deserves an ass whopping..

Stef said...

I heard Hot 97 this morning as well and thought about Brooke's "Dear Brookey" blog from last week. It MUST be an epidemic. Two dudes is bad enough, but THREE??? that woman on the radio sounded trifling, and K. Fox was just as trifling for suggesting she lie to her boyfriend.

And the woman had the nerve to say "I don't wanna appear to be a ho." The one male caller was like "But you ARE a ho." LOL! I was thinking the same thing!

Women need to just come clean, cuz like B said, I'd rather you leave me now than later, cuz either way you're gonna leave once you find out. Just get it over with.

As for the Ed Lover situation, dude was just an asshole who doesn't want to own up to his responsibilities. He can get all the opinions he wants, he knows that kis is his.

ejackson said...

@ annamaria

are you saying that if Powerz asked you for a paternity test you would be cool with that? "no harm, no foul"?

i guess i fugured "paternity test tuesday" would be for people like last weeks callers (i went back and heard that foolishness).

if leo asked me for a paternity test, i would be offended because i never gave him a reason not to trust me. I don't know the whole situation with Carlene and Marc but if anyone was wrong it was him for cheating in germany

Annamaria said...

If Powerz asked me for a paternity test yes I'd be a lil offended cuz we all know Sophia's his BUT I wouldn't necessarily END it because of that. If he had suspicions/doubts for whatever reasons and I can make him feel better by swabbing a Qtip in Sophia's mouth then let's do it & move on with our life. I know she is & then he'd have 100% proof that he's hers too...

Like I said the bond between parent & child is special & I wouldn't want ANYTHING to get in the way of Sophia & him having the very best relationship they possibly could have. As her mom I just want what's best for her & I would never want him to have any doubts.

Now if after he got the results he still wanted to be like I want a second opinion I'd tase the SHIT out of him! lol

ejackson said...

i respect you for that. i don't have any kids yet so maybe once i give birth i'll be more understanding! lol

but keep the taser charged just in case he wanted a second opinion! :-)

Sophia said...

LMAO... Liz honestly your whole perception on things changes when you have a baby. You don't sweat the small stuff anymore & you see the bigger picture differently (at least I do)

Truth be told at the end of the day no one knows what happens behind closed doors. No one is disputing that he was an idiot for saying he wants a second opinion. And he's wrong for cheating on her. BUT we don't know if anything happened prior to this that made him have a doubt. All we know is for whatever reason he had a doubt..

And like I said before I wouldn't want my daughter short changed out of love or affection because of my pride OR because I was being stubborn. If there is a simple solution that would benefit Sophia I'm all for it. I can put my feelings aside for her ANYDAY!

Brooke said...

I'd probably be a lil hurt if my man asked me for a paternity test, but I'd do it just to allay his concerns. What I WOULD have a problem with is a man who is accusing me of cheating WHILE HE'S CHEATING HIMSELF. In Carlene's case, she was a bit too calm if you ask me - because once he admitted to cheating, I'd have been done. There's no moving on from that. Not only is the trust gone, but he's a coward.

Anonymous said...

I knew before reading all of the blog that dude cheated and that is why he was acting crazy.

He doesnt want to live with the woman and his child and be reminded everyday that he cheated on her while she was raising his son and being faithful. He either needs to man up or or be a coward and move on and stop putting his nonsense on everyone else. Wonder if he got the other woman pregnant too?

The Cable Guy said...

I wish there were more women who think like you Annamaria (Sophia) :) Most women who've been wronged can't get past it and don't want the man around their child because they feel the father is a bad person and wouldn't want him to influence the child in a negative way. And I understand that, because in this woman's case, she probably doesn't trust him, and therefore won't trust him around the kid. Unfortunately, this kid has a cheater for a father and she'll have to put her pride and motherly instincts aside so that the man can be in his kid's life.

Annamaria said...

Thanks Cable guy...

Funny cuz Powerz & I were talking about this last night. If we were to god forbid break up we'd have the weirdest relationship because he would constantly see me.
Although it would kill me if he cheated on me or things didn't work out between us I would have to put that aside for Sophia. And his ability to be a husband or fiancee or boyfriend has NOTHING to do with his ability to be a father. If he's doing what he has to do & stepping up to the plate then he can see & talk to Sophia whenever he wants. I would NEVER interfere in their relationship as long as she was being taken care of. Not only that but I feel that family is extremely important & I'm really close to his family so I'd make it a point to take Sophia to visit his mom & sisters & stuff just like I do now because I think it's important that she knows BOTH families.

The problem is people let THEIR feelings get in the way with things & I'm sorry but now that I've had her it's NOT about me anymore it's about SOPHIA.. I had 30 years to be selfish & think of myself. NOW its all about Sophia & what's best for her.

Brooke said...

I applaud women like that. My mother is one such person. Even though she and my father divorced, she made it a point to make sure my sister and I knew both families equally. We always had 2 Thanksgivings and 2 Christmases with both families. We spent summers with my father's side of the family - all because my mother made the extra effort. I never heard her speak ill of my father either, even though she very well could have. I didn't hear her utter a negative word about him until I was an adult, because by then, she knew I could assess for myself what kind of father he is/was vs. how what kind of husband he was to her. But until I was old enough and mature enough to draw my own conclusions and forge my own relationship with him, she never said a bad thing about him.

Serena W. said...

H.A.M. are my only words for today! SMH!

Dil said...

First of all E Jack could get it. :-) Since B Dean won't let me... nevermind.

Sounds like he went to Germany, had a good time, so now he's second guessing whether or not he wants to be with the young lady. Sometimes guys in the military get "serious" with someone before they leave because she's a safety net (or something) to know that you have a "girl back home" - although they were already together for three years, so that doesn't really apply in this situation. If I put on my "Dr. Phil" hat on, I would say he probably has cold feet now that he gave a ring and has a child - so now it's time to grow up. Everyone is probably asking when they are getting married, so now he's trying to get out of it.

Annamaria said...

I understand it's hard & I think I have a better understanding of it BECAUSE I'm a stepmother. And I see how the ex can stand in the way & I see how it affects the kids & how it can affect the dad. I see how a dude can have nothing to do & want to see his kids BUT not make a phone call because he doesn't want to deal with the drama. And I would never want Sophia to be sitting home doing nothing & wanting to hang out with her father but not being able to just because I'm angry.. That's not fair to her & it would honestly break my heart.

I think that's why I'm a lil more open & understanding to the situation. Hopefully those two can put their issues aside & their anger aside for the benefit of the child because at the end of the day the kid is the only one who loses.

The Cable Guy said...

Yes, nice smile E Jack, but sounds to me like there's a "Leonard" in the picture :)

Besides, Brooke is my baby, so Dil can have Liz and I'll hold out for "B. Dean." LOL!!

Brooke, your mother sounds like an amazing woman - no wonder you're as great as you are, you come from a strong, loving woman.

Yolanda said...

"Most women who've been wronged can't get past it"

A lot of men can't get past being wronged either. The pool is tainted on both sides, leaving a lotta bitter ass people walking around these days, when all folks need to do is keep it in their pants. Or at least be honest and just break up. We make stuff waaaay more complicated than necessary sometimes.

The Cable Guy said...

@Yolanda,

You're right, it's on both sides. I only pointed out the women because most of them have custody of the child, which means she has control over if or when the father can see the child. I didn't mean to imply that men don't feel it too, but when to comes to raising kids together, most time the mother has the kid, so a man can be up to her mercy on how well the co-parenting will go.

Yolanda said...

I know, Cable.
It's all gravy, boo.

The Cable Guy said...

Are you flirting with me Yolanda? Cuz I likes :) LOL!

I'll take Brooke AND Yolanda!

Stef said...

Neither Brooke NOR Yolanda wants you MAN! You've been pining away at them for months, now - give it up! LOL!

Annamaria said...

And next week on Paternity test Tuesday...


Cable Guy, Brooke AKA Brooklyn & Yolanda....

LMAO

Annamaria said...

@Stef....You know when you in kindergarten & your mom tells you that the boy hits you cuz he likes u.....
Well it works the other way around too....

Stop hiting the cable guy already & just tell him you love him! lol

Stef said...

Ewwwww! Never! :-)

The Cable Guy said...

That's right, you tell her Annamaria. The hater wants me! LOL!

She must've heard how FINE I am - most people don't know that about me ;)

Brooke said...

I would hope my friends would slap the ish outta me before I go on the damn Ed Lover Show for Paternity Test Tuesdays. I'll just tell everyone I got artificially inseminated so no one has to wonder :)

Annamaria, I emailed you about the Pleasure Party - please see me offline, thanks! :-)

Annamaria said...

I'd let you go on Brooke.. I wanna see who's baby it is... LMAO

ejackson said...

@ dil thanks for the compliment.

I see your point annamaria. i'm like brooke in the sense that my mom NEVER said anything negative about my dad - until my sister and i were grown. she tried her best to make sure we spent the summers with him and knew that side of our family.

i think what disturbed me the most was his attitude during the segment - what goes around....

Annamaria said...

Honestly I gave him the benefit of the doubt until he made that I want a second Opinion part. Once he said that I was like OK this dude needs to be stabbed in the neck.

Yolanda said...

Rickey Smiley does a paternity segment on his show. Must be the new thing in radio. Blame Maury.

The Cable Guy said...

and the fact that paternity tests aren't cheap! These idiots want it done for free!

Jay said...

I wanna hear more about this Pleasure Party. Can men come :)

Annamaria said...

Not unless Brooke wants to make it a couples party.. Then I'd bring Powerz. :)

Brooke said...

I think the women would prefer if no men were there watching them test out vibrators...but I'm just guessing here... ;-)

Domina*tricks said...

I'd LOVE to come to this party!

ejackson said...

no, no, no!

i want to purchase something and then have it as a "surprise"!

no boys allowed!

Annamaria said...

LMAO....

Women only!!!!!!!!!!!

Jay said...

oh to be a fly on the wall at THIS little shindig! We all know that all Brookey's friends are gorgeous, so to see a room full of them playing with sex toys would be incredible. Let me know if you need help "setting up" or something :)

The Cable Guy said...

Yo, if Dominatricks comes, PLEASE take pictures!

Hell, take flicks anyway :)

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