Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Do any of you watch Dancing with the Stars? If so, you've no doubt noticed the sexual tension and romantic "goings-on" between ballroom dancer Cheryl Burke and her partner - football player Chad Ochocinco. Even Ellen picked up on it, check it out:
Stevie Wonder can see that these two have gotten busy. But hey, if they're "friends," then they're just friends.
Is it me, or do celebrities seem to enjoy denying that they're in relationships? I mean, Beyonce and Jay-Z stayed tight-lipped about it up until the wedding, even though errbody and they mama knew they were together. To this day, Mrs. Carter still doesn't discuss her marriage or her husband. And I get it.
If I were a celebrity, I'd probably want to keep my business to myself too. Hell, I'm NOT a celebrity, and I don't go around broadcasting my business all willy nilly. Some things people just don't need to know.
But do you find that people nowadays are afraid to admit that they're dating? Or are they reluctant to do so because they're not sure if they're actually dating or not?
I have a friend who's been seeing a guy for over a year, but says that he's not her boyfriend. They do boyfriend/girlfriend stuff...but they don't label it as such - sort of like what Cheryl and Chad said in that Ellen clip.
But do we have to label what we're doing when we're dating? What do we call it? Is there a certain amount of time that goes by after which one should say "Okay...what are we doing?" Or do we wonder about it until someone gets down on one knee?
Personally, I think most of us can tell when we're in a real relationship - or at least want to be. And I don't think I would be able to date someone for a long period of time without them professing some sort of feelings for me...is unapologetic about it, and doesn't care who knows. If there's secrecy involved, that means there's either doubt...or he's just really not that into me.
Now, I'm not saying people should rush to color themselves in a relationship or not. Most times it takes a while to figure out if someone is dating material, let alone relationship material. Because then of course, once you get to relationship stage, you wonder if they're marriage material. All of this can either be figured out fairly quickly, or it can take years. Everyone is different - and by all means, don't rush it.
But after you've figured out that someone IS relationship material...and you finally realize that you're actually already IN a relationship - how do you proceed from there? Do you have a "talk" where the rules and expectations are spelled out? Is it just assumed? Do you wait until the other person says "I love you" first before you decide that you're actually exclusive with someone?
Tell me how it's gone down with you in your past relationships that were actually "labeled" as such. And have any of you ever let a relationship go sour because no one was willing to step up and take it to the next level?
If only it was as easy as when we were kids - when all you had to do was pass the guy or girl a note that had one question written on it - "Do you like me?" And he or she had to check the box marked "yes" - "no" - or "maybe." If the answer was yes, you were "going out." See how simple that was? No fuss. No confusion. No room for misunderstandings.
Ah, the good ole days :-)