Monday, June 13, 2011

You Can't Make Me!

Good Morning!

Every year I turn my blog over to wonderful fathers I know for a week leading up to Father's Day. It's often said that mothers get all the glory, while Father's Day is "just another day." But there are definitely strong, silent...and not so silent....father heroes out there who love, nurture, raise and provide for their children (and others' children) every single day. Kicking off my Father's Day week series is Hayden Greene - let's go!


You Can't Make Me!...by Hayden Greene



I once saw a commercial for a product that I don't remember of a grown man doing high school cheers. He looked ridiculous! The camera angle was tight, but as it panned out you saw that he was, in fact, practicing with his daughter - being there for her. Somehow she had gotten him to act like a post pubescent girl with pompoms!



I looked at that commercial and realized that little girls can get their fathers...daddies...to do whatever they want! I had not joined the fatherhood fraternity, so I wondered whether that would be me one day in our backyard doing pirouettes with my little one (I knew I would be blessed with a girl. How? That's a story for another blog) or turning double Dutch.

What I didn't know is that power to make a daddy do things that he normally wouldn't do would manifest itself quite differently for me. Firstly, you have to know that I don't cry. This isn't a machismo latent declaration of my toughness. I'm just very even keeled and laid back, so things don't move me to either extreme; sadness or joy. I'm ruled by logic, so emotions lay beneath the surface but aren't immediately obvious.

That was at least until Clarke came into my life. For me, the thing that my daughter has made me do that I wouldn't normally do is have those emotions bubble to the surface and break free. I have laughed like I have never laughed before because she got into a giggling fit and her laughter is infectious. I have cried when she was sick and I felt completely helpless because I couldn't be her superman. I have also cried tears of joy when she and I spontaneously broke into a duet on a song that I had been singing to her at night to put her to sleep. I was so happy that she was the daughter that I had always hoped for that I couldn't stop the waterworks that I had previously had complete control over.

Yes, Clarke makes her daddy do things that he doesn't want to do. Those things include skipping unabashedly down the street, humming songs from Yo Gabba Gabba unconsciously at work, and threatening 3 year old boys to stay away from my daughter (I'm not real proud of that last one! LOL).

However, the one thing that she made me do that I had no intention of doing was being a more emotional person. Strangely, it has made me a more complete human, and I believe that people around me have probably noticed and welcomed the difference. Basically, Clarke has made me a better man, and I am so happy to be her father. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go have tea with my daughter and her stuffed toys...

-Hayden

Hayden M. Greene has been working to produce artistic beauty for many years. In his early years, he was known for painting jackets and jeans - but that was just was the beginning. He is also a successful spoken word poet, a writer, a faithful citizen of the People's Republic of Brooklyn, and, of course, a photographer. Many of his photographs picture places that he has travelled to, but his most beautiful ones are of the people that he has met or had the pleasure of photographing. He has a discerning eye and is able to capture the ‘beautiful’ from the seemingly ‘ordinary’. He created Greene Light Photography to share that vision with you.

47 comments:

Brooke said...

And happy birthday to one of our fathers - DMoe!

BatMan said...

First BITCHES!!!

Stef said...

No you're not! Brooke is!!! LOL!

Courtney said...

Happy Birthday DMoe!

This was such a great post! I love that commercial by the way - we need more dads out there singing and jumping and cheering with their daughters! I hope to meet and marry a man who would do that if we were blessed with a child, it means so much to children to have both parents be their biggest cheerleaders!

Wonderful Hayden!

BatMan said...

Hi Stef.... :-)

Yolanda said...

This is awesome. And I got a liitle misty-eyed too.

And happy birthday to DMoe.

Annamaria said...

Happy Birthday DMoe...

I was extremely & pleasantly surprised to see the Hayden blog today. Hayden is one of my favorite dads & one of my husbands in our communal family!
Him & his wife are truly inspirational parents & they make events that much more fun. He has changed since becoming a father & it definitely is for the better.. (SHHHHH don't tell him I said that.)

Hayden said...

I am so impressed that you were able to find that clip, Brooke! Thank you for the opportunity to submit this blog post.

and thank you to all the kind words about the blog. It's interesting that I hear compliments on being a good dad when all I think I'm doing is what I'm SUPPOSED to do as a father. I guess it's the ole Chris Rock point that people compliment people for doing what they're supposed to do because they don't see it often. I hope dads like me become the norm and not the exception. I know that me and my Fraternity brothers are working hard to dispel those negative stereotypes about Black men and the way they interact with their children.

Thanks again for the forum Brooke!

Oh yeah... happy birthday DMoe.

Hayden said...

PS... Too late Anna. I already know you like me more than Austin. The cat's out of the bag...Then again, you like ALL of us more than Austin! LOL

Jay said...

This was an awesome post bruh. I'm not a father, but I could feel the pride beaming from the computer screen. I've seen that commercial before and I thought it was silly for about 2 seconds until I realized this was a proud father cheerleading for his daughter. I hope to be a father like that one day, as I was blessed to have a father who was all of that to me, and much more.

Brooke, I love that you do this every year. Kudos to you for turning your blog over to amazing men who do simply what they're supposed to do when they father a child...and that is to truly be a dad.

The Cable Guy said...

I was hoping Brooke would do this again this year, as I've had the opportunity and privilege to write a Father's Day blog for her last year. This was a great post Hayden!

Kids pull at our heart in ways we never imagined. There was a time I couldn't picture my self being a dad, at ALL, especially not at such a young age. Now I can't imagine what I was doing with my life before. Kids change you, and hopefully for the better. I know I've changed for the better, and I look forward to being a dad every day. Great post!

Annamaria said...

Hayden,
You guys are doing an amazing job at dispelling the stereotypes associated with Black fathers.

The Sigma dads are excellent fathers & as strange as they all are they are fairly good men too! LMAO

And no Hayden I love your wife more than I love Austin. Get it right! LOL
but you kinda grew on me too! like fungus! :)

Stef said...

This was a great blog! I got a kick out of that commercial, and I wish I could say my dad did those things with me. He was definitely the strong silent type, the disciplinarian (sp?), not the "fun" parent. But I still appreciate him. Dads come in all shapes and sizes, and we should honor the good ones as much as possible. Hayden, you seem to be a wonderful, PRESENT father who would go through hell and high water for your daughter and family. They are truly blessed to have you!

Happy Birthday DMoe!

The Cable Guy said...

@Brooke,

As wonderful as Annamaria and Powerz and now Hayden seem, I still think you should stay out of this sister wives cult thing they got going on...they're trying to get you! LOL!

Don't you need a spouse or a child to be in their communal family anyway? If so, I'll volunteer myself and my son :)

oh, happy birthday DMoe!

Hayden said...

On Saturday you will find out that married couples are consider ONE so if you like Aisha more then you like ME more than Austin!

And at least I'm like a fungus. It's better than growing on you like a wart or a lesion!

But seriously, thank you re: the Sigma men being good fathers. Those who knew us from our college days would be SHOCKED at the men that we turned out to be. It's heartwarming to know that people notice.

Annamaria said...

@Cable Guy.. we all agreed we would let her in without a spouse for now until we find the APPROPRIATE spouse for Brooke.. We figured if the dude can get approved by us after the things we will put him through he deserves her.. :)

@ Hayden..I learned about the whole ONE thing with you Sigmas.. I thought I was getting into a relationship with one of you & instead I got the whole damn line... and the one before...LMAO
And I didn't know you guys in college cuz I was still in diapers in the playpen next to your wife & Ms. Nay..lol BUT judging from what I've heard yes it is a complete miracle you guys turned out soo well. Some better than others.. LMAO

Jay said...

Forgot to say happy birthday to DMoe! Enjoy bruh!

I'm afraid for the poor spouse they interrogate who gets Brooke, but he will be a very deserving man :)

Not only is it a countdown to Father's Day, but to Annamaria and Austin's wedding. Congrats again!

Aisha G said...

Hayden... well... he aight. LOL

Annamaria said...

@Jay... THANKS..

@Aisha aka sister-wife.. yea he aight.. LOL

Jaz said...

I loved this post! I got a lil misty too Yolanda. It's sad that so many of use don't see examples of men like this on a daily basis. Maybe they are there in plain sight, but because the deadbeats are what sells (Maury), that's all we hear about. I don't know many dads like this, but like Hayden said, hopefully that'll change soon.

It's not enough to pay child support; men need to be out here with their pom poms representing for their child - especially our young girls. I always think it's karma when a dude I know who does women dirty has a daughter, because no matter what they think, their daughetr will often choose a man like their father to love. If fathers don't get their act together, they'll end up with a man just like them. So if you want your daughter to choose a good guy, you have to BE one so you can lead by example. Hayden, kudos to you for being the type of man you'd want your daughter to marry.

Serena W. said...

These darn pregnancy emotions! Hayden has me all messed up over here (sniff...sniff)!

I love that commercial by the way!

Hayden you sound like a great guy and I love how there are so many positive Dads out there. Its ashame that enough of them aren't highlighted! People only talk about the trifling ones.

My father didn't raise me but my Papa did and I still have memories. People say he did things with me that he didn't even do with his own kids lol. I remember those moments vividly and I know Clarke will when she gets older remember the special moments she shares with you Hayden. God bless you brother.

Brooke, my hats off to you. I always look forward to the fathers day edition!

I'm not a physical parent yet as he is still baking in the oven over here but I feel myself changing for the better. My sweetheart is something else. Watching him with his daughter makes me laugh and at the same time so thankful that he's an amazing dad already and will be one to our son!

Cheers to the great Dads! Hayden I hope your tea is good at the party ;)

(Now let me go blow my nose and wipe these tears)!

Happy Birthday DMoe!!!!

Serena W. said...

Also Hayden we'll have to chat off line! I'm a spoken word artist and writer too and a greek sista (DST)!

Annamaria be nice to him lol!

Annamaria said...

@Serena...I'm never nice to him. If I start now he'll think I'm about to tase him to death! LMAO

Hayden said...

Thanks everyone...even you too, Aisha...SMH.

@Serena: Anna tried to be nice to me one time and she nearly spontaneously combusted. I think Austin wants her to stick around so I'll take one for the team (of sista wives). Besides i get her back by scaring the crap out of her kid when she's not looking. Ever wonder WHY the little one never wants to come to me! LOL J/K...kinda

Hit me up about writing any time. Haven't done much Spoken Word in a while but I AM trying to get my act together and push my book out by the end of the Fall.

Stef said...

I just looked at Hayden's photography site, is that Annamaria with Sophia when she was a baby? Gorgeous phots!

I'll definitely pass that link along!

The Cable Guy said...

Yes, I was just going to comment on the photography link - great shots! He can shoot me and Brooke's wedding once I get the approval from Annamaria and her sister wives ;)

Hayden said...

@Stef. Yup. It's one of my favorite shots ever. So peaceful. Especially when you contrast it to the real live person...#imjustsaying...

Stef said...

@Hayden,

LMAO! OMG! That's such a beautiful shot! I can't picture THAT woman tasing anyone...you must've airbrushed the crazy PR out of that photo :) LOL!

Annamaria said...

LMAO... yep that's Sophia & I... that's my favorite picture ever!

SHUT UP HAYDEN! lol...

Jay said...

Wow, I don't think I would have even known that to be Annamaria. The one holding the baby? I've seen pics of Sophia on the blog, so she must've been TINY, like newborn in that shot. They grow up fast.

You have talent, will definitely keep you in mind for any events or to pass along to friends or family.

Yolanda said...

I love that Cable Dude always finds a way to include his affections for Brooke and proposition her with his loins, regardless of the blog topic. Kudos, young man.

The Cable Guy said...

@Yolanda,

I'm trying to wear her down, she shows me no love at all! She didn't even ask me to write a father's day blog this year! Hmmph!

Hayden said...

@cable Guy...I think you think that Anna is joking...there WILL be an approval process and its. not. pretty. Gird those loins, young man.

I'm very honored that you all like the photography on the site. I'm very proud of the images and it is gratifying that others see beauty there as well. And if I can make Anna look serene, then you know I's gots skilz!!

Annamaria said...

@Stef... THAT woman probably tased Hayden the MINUTE he got to my house to take those pics & probably a few times throughout the morning...LMAO

BUT he did get fed breakfast & I do help advertise his biz any time anyone will listen..IE: NOW..lol

He's a very talented OLD man. He does great work & I LOVED his approach & the ideas he came with for the shoot..

Believe it or not that pic was taken in my bedroom on my bed... Hayden did his magic....
@Jay... She was only about a month old if that when we did these pics.

Annamaria said...

@Hayden...I HATE YOU..LOL
But I'm still marrying all of you on Saturday.. taser in hand..

Stef said...

If that pic is recent, he doesn't LOOK old, but black don't crack anyway :) I STILL don't believe Brooke's age.

Now I want to be a sister wife :) I can take Brooke's place!

DMoe said...

Excellent blog bruh...

That was great to read.

Also, thanks to everyone for the bday well wishes....Love yall and thanks!

DMoe

Brooke said...

@Cable Guy,

I DID ask you, you just didn't respond. I sent out a mass email to all the dad's I know to see if they'd be interested...no word from you...so there!

I might even do this for 2 weeks this year instead of one - got a good response from everyone, so we'll see :) Lots of great dads out there!

The Cable Guy said...

Oh yeah, you DID send out that email. I want you to ask me personally! LOL!

okay, okay...I messed up, but if you want me to do one, I still can!

Annamaria said...

Oh and Serena & anyone else with kids.. If you are ever looking for a book for your kids... Please Support Hayden's wife(s)....


http://www.hartlynkids.com

Geeque said...

Great job Hayden, then again I wouldn’t expect any less!!

Happy Father’s Day to all!!!!

Happy Birthday DMoe, enjoy it!!

Blue Phi!!!!!

Stephanie said...

What a wonderful tradition you have started with fathers Day week. I look forward to all of the wonderful thoughts and sentiments that father's bring to the table.
@ Hayden,I'm sure your little girl is proud to have such a wonderful father.

Stephanie said...

Happy Birthday DMoe,

Domina*Tricks said...

Great blog!

I do read outside of Fury's TMI Tuesdays :)

Hayden, you are a shining example of what a true father is supposed to be. The love you feel for your daughter jumps through your words. It's very touching, and thank you for sharing!

Hayden said...

Once again, thank you to everyone for your kind words and I intend to keep up the good work!

Serena W. said...

Sorry I missed the rest of the day (duty calls). Hayden I went on your website and it is great! Whenever I do events like book signings, spoken word, etc in the NYC area and I need a photographer I'm calling you!

I always loved that pic of Annamaria and Sophia! So endearing and captivating.

Best wishes with your success and keep in touch, I dropped my email addy on there and my website.

I can't wait to see the blog for tomorrow!

Aisha G said...

Anna... We should make you VP of marketing. Thanks for the hartlynkids plug!

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