Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Dear Fury,

Last year I attended a pleasure party and purchased my first sex toy. Since then I enjoyed it so much, I now have a large collection of toys. My problem is I am now addicted to them and use them at least three times a day - sometimes more! It has come to the point where I even use them in the ladies room at work, I carry one with me all the time! I'm not interested in men anymore either - my toys are all I need and I don't go out on dates, or even have the desire to. Is this normal? Something must be wrong with me - help!

Sincerely,
Addicted!

Dear Addicted,

You seem to have the mother load of self pleasure, I'm certain some of the women on the blog would like to have a toy that makes them feel that damn good!

Seriously, having a healthy self pleasure ritual is important to having a healthy sex life. You get to learn what you like and then pass that information on to others. If you want to enjoy yourself, more power to you. Just remember, those toys cannot and will not take the true place of intimacy with a partner. Ain't nothing like the real thing baby! Nothing is wrong with you, but you are falling into the 21st century trap of immediate gratification. Text, Twitter and 24 hour news makes us all want everything immediately and not want to work for it.

However, toys will never ever disappoint you! God knows it is the safest possible sex you can have. I understand. It's a phase and you're allowed to work your way through it (wink). But I hope one day you'll return to the fold and allow a worthy man to savor in all of your sexy goodness as you savor in his.

I know several women (regular professionals you wouldn't suspect) who regularly carry their toys with them in their purse all the time and a few who have admitted to using their toys in the bathroom at work.

(fellas those bathrooms have got to be a hotbed of sex toy fun).

PLEASE don't get caught at work. Try to refrain from doing it there if you can.

In Brazil, a woman won a court ruling that allows her to masturbate in the bathroom at work because of an anxiety disorder! You're not her. You could lose your job. Watch out for that.

You say the toys are "all you need"...for now...but know there's more out there, but enjoy it while you're doing it.

Shameless plug - if you're looking for new toys, a new feature of my site will be toy reviews by a very unsuspecting, professional woman who has volunteered her body for the testing. *smirks*

They call me The Fury and I am master of my own domain...and others' as well...

--The Fury

http://dirtydetails.blogspot.com
http://www.twitter.com/dirtydetails
http://dirtydetails.tumblr.com/

49 comments:

Annamaria said...

First Bitches... hell it's only right...

@Addicted:
http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com/

just saying

Sillouette said...

Hey all!!!

@ Anna your FIRST!!! You go girl!

I aint mad at ol girl for getting her power of pleasure on.. and I can see exactly why she dont want a man, want to date, or have anything to do with then on that level. She will compare that man to her "little friend" she carries in her purse. He probably will never be able to measure up to that power... LOL..And she will quickly dismiss him.. However on the other hand aot of men are VERY intimidated of woman having toys for her "own" pleasure, because they feel like " Dang, I dont please her enough, that she has to you plastic"... Then again, she sont have to worry about her "little toy" , cheating on her, giving her an STD, lying, mistreating her, or breaking her heart etc.. I dont think theres anything wrong with her at all. And like "Fury" said, perhaps its just a faze. :)

The Fury said...

There's no way I can be jealous of a sex toy. That's like getting mad that a computer does math better than you. I'm good but damn...I'm not trying to compete with the Hitachi...I have my own tricks ;-)

Sillouette said...

LOL.. Youd be surprised at how many men get fire hott madd if they know they chick got a toy... LOL... Im not even lying.. But I guess thats a self esteem issue they need to address.

And you my dear have NO insecurites what so ever.. Your confidence speaks in volumes and I applaud that. :)

But I have witnessed guys get fire hott mad when the subject of a "toy" comes up..LOL

The Fury said...

Hell if a woman tells me she has a toy, I may sit on the other side of the room with a bottle of water and watch for a bit ;-)

Have any of you ladies been scared you could get addicted your toy?

@annamaria - great plug!

Sillouette said...

@ Fury.. LMAO... Not a bottle of water...LOL


No I dont think I could get addicted... Falling back and forth between both worlds is a good balance to me.. :)

Tony said...

Good Morning everyone!

Men can sometimes be intimidated by sex toys (I, personally am not) however, I think this is a little deeper than sexual pleasure. This woman is addicted to sex (even though it is just a toy) and it is effecting her normal human to human relationships. Believe it or not an addiction like this one can spiral out of control much in the same way as drug or alcohol addiction.

Annamaria said...

Thanks. I figure if there were ever a blog to give myself a shameless plug this is it....

http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com/

http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com/

http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com/

http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com/

http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com/

http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com/

http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com/

http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com/


I think I'm done now.. :)

The Fury said...

@Tony - Sexual addiction may be possible, but I haven't read anything that made it seem it's beyond adjustment.

@Annamaria - I'm sorry what was that website again?

Tony said...

@Fury - Beyond adjustment? Meaning that you can shake it off like the a cold?

Yolanda said...

I'm sure there are a lot of women who have become more attached to their toys than men or the "idea" of being with a man. I'm all for the self-pleasuring and whatnot...but give me a warm, breathing, strong-shouldered, sturdy-backed, muscular-thighed man any day.

WOOOO...almost had a moment there.

Annamaria said...

Apparently Yolanda doesn't need a toy either. She just needs her imagination..LMAO

But Yolanda in case you do need a toy.....

http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com
LMAO

Sillouette said...

@ Annamaria ...lmao

PROMOTE! PROMOTE! PROMOTE!!

LOL

Thomas said...

I agree with Tony. No addiction is ever good because you now are admitting your powerless over something as eventually it "does you in" (pun intended). As she stated "I'm Addicted To Sex Toys" that makes it a "Self-Admitted" addiction! Now you know your in deep shit!!! Just wait til' the urge hits on public transportation or something and your sitting next to her as she remotely pleasures herself. Will you applaud then?

Annamaria said...

@Sillouette...that's right!

The Fury said...

@Tony & Thomas - I don't see it as an addiction. From her letter, it feels more like habit. The toy is giving her the pleasure with no fuss so she's rolling with that. Some people say they're addicted to Krispy Kreme, but if a steak comes a long they'll eat it.

I'm certain if a well adjusted man worthy of her time came along, she'd..juggle the two.

Am I correct "Addicted"?

Addicted said...

Hi everyone,

As Fury said, I think it's more of a phase I'm going through. Part of the reason I have no desire to date is because I tend to fall hard for guys who may not be worth my time. That's what triggered me to get a sex toy in the first place (good plugs by the way Annamaria). My libido is high, but when I have sex with a man, I want it to mean something. Since I fall for the wrong guys, and wind up sleeping with them, I figured a sex toy would be "safer" for me.

But now I feel that it's gotten to a point where the sex toy will never disappoint me and that's probably where my REAL problem lies - the fear of being used or taken advantage of sexually by the wrong guy. I think if I could get over my fear that there are no good guys out there, I'd no longer really have a need for a toy.

Make sense?

Domina*Tricks said...

How did I miss THIS blog?

Addicted, I agree with Fury - it's probably just a phase. You're on a "men ain't sh*t" roller coaster, and now you just have to figure out how to get off. You'll know when it's time. Until then, just keep enjoying yourself, but limit the pleasure to when you're at home. And if you feel it's a real issue, talk to someone about your fear of disappointment and why you keep falling for the wrong guys. Just a thought.

Sillouette said...

@ Addicted..

I so totally understand where your coming from 100%.. No one what to feels used and abused and then left hanging. From the sounds of it, you have raised the bar on the worth of your mind body and spirit of value. The is fantastic my dear.

I dint see anythig worng with what your doing. When the time is right you will do away with it if it comes to that.. But for now just enjoy the faze. And yes its 100% "safer"... :) Good Luck to you.

Sillouette said...

My good PLEASE excuse my typos..thats what i get for not proof reading and typing too fast.. Grrrr... :)

Sillouette said...

*goodness.... see i did it AGAIN! LOL

The Cable Guy said...

I didn't think there was a blog today - Brooke sent the email out late!

I don't think Addicted is really ADDICKTED - I think she's afraid to face her fears of men, and is using the sex toy as a crutch - while getting her nut off ;)

But eventually you'll long for a real relationship, so I think you should address that sooner rather than later. A toy can't replace a relationship.

Annamaria said...

Have I mentioned to you all that I have this lil website:

http://www.annaspleasures.yourpassionconsultant.com/

cures all problems.. :)

The Fury said...

@Addicted - Thanks for chiming in on cue :-D Make sure you don't spend all of your time with the sex toys. Go on some dates, get to know some guys.

If you need to get off with the toy before the date to relieve your tension, cool! If after the date you wanna bust, but don't want to worry about the repercussions, go home and use the toy.

And if you need new toys...Annamaria apparently has some great stuff!

Brooke said...

hey y'all! I'm back in the office - sorry for sending the blog link late! But I posted it early! :)

Yeah, this sounds like a deeper issue than just being addicted to sex toys. I understand not wanting to give your body to just anyone, so playing it safe for now is good - but may hinder you from developing a real relationship with man in the long run if your fears aren't addressed. I think Dominatricks is on to something - if you keep choosing the wrong guy, then that's something to explore.

On the other hand, I know some women who didn't know what an orgasm WAS until they got a sex toy...so the "newness" of discovering something you've never felt with a real life man can be over-powering. And if you're WITH someone and STILL never felt it, then it's time you take him AND your toy into the bedroom and show him exactly how B.O.B is getting you off...and how he can mimick some of those same moves. He might need to do some exercises or something, but I'm sure he'll have fun trying ;)

Tony said...

Well.....whichever name you want to give it....be careful. The line between a "Phase" and an "Addiction" is very thin. I can tell you that from very personal experience.

The Cable Guy said...

Tony is right. It's no different than being addicted to porn if you ask me. Some men can't perform or function properly without it. And I think just like men can't perform up to women's expectations after they've had a toy, some women can't perform up to men's expectations when they think every woman should be f*cking like a porn star.

Thomas said...

Again, I agree with Tony, Damn! If for whatever reason "The Toy" gets you off, so be it. But do realize things like that develop into addictions and are very hard to break...especially if you have a high libido and possibly an addictive nature. Don't ask me how I know I just do!

The Cable Guy said...

especially if you're doing that ish at work!

The Fury said...

@The Cable Guy - More women masturbate at work than you can imagine...

Stef said...

Hey, sometimes the spirit just moves you! Not that I've done it or anything ;)

Everyone pretty much said what I think, so hopefully this is just a phase and she can find a worthy guy to give the good to. But hey, better to pleasure yourself than give it up to some dirtbag.

And I applaud her honesty. Most women want to fake the funk like they can have casual sex and get their needs met without getting caught up - but easier said than done. At least she won't be falling for, and giving her hard earned money to, some lowlife who is using her. I'll take BOB ANYday!

Jaz said...

okay...I must be slow. What does B.O.B stand for?

Thomas said...

But women use men the same way men use women. SO that dirtbag you speak of as a female about a male, there's also some skank out there who uses men the SAME way! IT'S FAIR TRADE!!!!

People got issues!!!

Annamaria said...

@Jaz...B.O.B. doesn't stand for anything...it's a name... :)

Thomas said...

B.O.B = Battery Operated Boyfriend

The Fury said...

LOL @Thomas as long as the using is mutual and agreed upon between adults then fair trade can be called. Otherwise, there's a trade deficit there...

Stephanie said...

Oh Miss addicted I feel you on this.I had a similar problem in the past. I had a few toys that were OK. Then I found the TONGUE. It was super addicting.My partner at the time loved it as I could stimulate him as well.Apparently,balls need love 2. Be careful that you do not de-sensitize your va jayjay.it can take a while to get back to normal.Yes no man can ever compare to our fabulous toys, but no toy can ever compare to a wonderful and loving partner.Keep your toys and add them to your sexual Repertoire.HMMM I think I need to pull out some toys....

Stef said...

@Thomas,

She's not calling ALL men dirtbags, so you seem to be taking it a bit personally LOL! She admitted that she attracts dirtbags, so that's for her to figure out. The good thing is that she recognizes her worth and doesn't want to give her body to the bad guys she attracts, so she's using toys instead. I think that's great personally. This blog isn't really about who is using who, it's about sexual gratification when you have no man :)

Thomas said...

Sorry Stef if it sounds like I'm taking this personally. I'm not;-) I just listen to what's being said and give my 2 cents. The reason for my speaking of the using that goes on between men and women was initiated by you (becuz it goes on...you may be a victim and a perpertrator yourself)..."But hey, better to pleasure yourself than give it up to some dirtbag". So my reply was simply to that statement. Just as you think there's a dirtbag out there who's taking advantage of women (and yes there out there), there's also the female a.k.a skank to some men, using them as well. That's all;-)

Stef said...

@Thomas,

Actually, the subject was NOT initiated by me, but was in response to Addicted saying she chooses the wrong guys to sleep with, so my comment was simply to say that I support her decision to please herself, rather than someone who isn't right for her. Saying that men and women use each other is stating the obvious. Duh. The topic is about WHY she is using sex toys excessively, which is the real issue - not people useng each other.

And no, I'm not a perpetrator - never have been. Are you, or have you ever been? Since this subject seems to strike a nerve with you, have you ever used someone?

Thomas said...

Yep, I have used and have been used. Not proud of it, but it was what it was and I've moved on from it. I think I'm a much better person now because of it. I know how it feels to do it and have it done...and neither were good feelings afterall was said and done. Learned my lesson!

Ryan Boyles said...

I can’t believe that there are really people who are experiencing such indulgences, especially on sex toys.

-Ryan| sex toys Philippines

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