Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Happy Hump Day!

It’s hot as the devil with gasoline drawz on today! I love it! But if you’re one of those people who does NOT love it, stay cool. It’s da summa time!

Okay, now…on the radio this morning, they reported that Queen Latifah’s (alleged) girlfriend broke up with her. The reason stated was that she was tired of seeing the Queen eat, drink and smoke herself to death. Who knows if any of this is true or not, but it begged the question of the day: What would you make you break up with your significant other? They did it “fill in the blank” style:

“I would break up with you if you ever ____________”

I immediately thought of 5 answers off the top of my head.

If he ever hit me
If he ever gave me an STD
If he ever fathered a child outside of our relationship (think the Governator)
If he ever committed a heinous crime
If he was a chronic liar.

I'm sure I could think of more, but those came to mind instantly.

The listeners called up with some very similar answers, and some totally ridiculous ones. One woman said she’d break up with any dude who said Wacka Flocka was his favorite rapper. Clearly she jests…or maybe not…but that’s not unforgivable. A bit odd maybe, but not a “real” deal breaker. Okay…so maybe it is.

Anyway, what do you consider offenses that require an immediate kick to the curb? I’m not talking about “we had a big fight” or “we don’t agree on the small stuff.” After all, not every bad day has to spell the end of a relationship, and not every problem is insurmountable. If he finds other women attractive, that’s normal and not that big of a deal. But if he sleeps with your sister? A totally big deal…and he gets walking papers and a foot in the ass (and her too).

Sometimes we throw in the towel too soon while others stay a little too long. For many of us, it’s clear when a relationship has run its course, but far too many of us fold before we’ve really tried to make it work. I’m guessing that the Queen’s boo hung in there for as long as she could and tried her best to make it work for the sake of love. But watching someone hurt themselves may affect us in such a negative way to the point where we have to let go because there’s nothing else we can do.

If she DID leave the Queen for the reasons stated – do you think she was wrong and abandoned her, or do you think it was time for her to move on? Under what circumstances do you stay with someone who is abusing themselves, if any? Love, marriage? Or do you leave and hope and pray they do what’s necessary for themselves to get well?

Lastly, fill in the blank yourself:

“I love him/her, but I would break up with him/her if they ever ___________”

Go!

-b

29 comments:

Latinegro said...

first bitches!

Brooke said...

I thought Yolanda was first?? :)

Yolanda said...

I was first on the other one...it double posted :-(

Brooke said...

it did? My bad!

Rameer The ILLAbstract said...

“I love him/her, but I would break up with him/her if they ever BETRAYED MY TRUST”.

My trust is paramount, and involves everything that goes into our relationship and friendship. Betray THAT - there's nothing left for us.

I think I'd break up over the obvious things - cheating, violence, unhappiness, etc. As far as Dana Owens goes - if she's hurting herself and doesn't care about her well-being, I don't blame her ex (allegedly, seeing as this sounds like gossip). It's not as bad, but similar to watching someone you love do drugs. If they can't stop for themselves and your relationship, you may get tired of trying to help/save someone and leave before you see them fall TOO hard. So I get it - if it's even true.

I also feel no sorrow for her - but that's cuz I'm no fan of hers. Too much tomfoolery and cooning in her history for me.

I'd do everything possible to try to help my mate through an issue. But if Ive exhausted all my options, and she just doesn't care or want to make things better - well I have to look out for my happiness before anyone else's. It would hurt - but I'd have to move on rather than remain in unhappiness.

Brooke said...

Yolanda, cut and paste your other answer onto this one so I can delete the other one! LOL!

Midnight said...

I would Break up with you if you ever...

insert everything that Rameer said because i am on the same page with him. In additon:

-you refer to Ja Rule as a musical Genius
-you think Malcolm X was just the name of the character Denzel played
-you are a vegetarian (sorry but it just won't work with me)
-you are a Philadelphia Eagles fan (lol ok maybe not, i know of 1 that I would never break up with)
-you don't know how to make Kool-Aid
-you think Tupac is alive

Annamaria said...

I would break up with you if you ever:

1. hid my taser
2. had a baby with someone else
3. sucked another man's d*ck.. (sorry thanks to Eliot Spitzer & Mr. Cee we gotta say these things..)
4. mistreated my kids.
5. disliked one of the sister-wives...LOL

Stef said...

LMAO!@ Midnight - "you can't make Kool-Aid" LOL!! Deal breaker!

I agree with Rameer. Betray my trust and we can' be together no matter how much I love you. I guess trust can be earned again, but very hard for me.

Hit me and it's over. We can't be Ike and Tina...I gotta go!

Stephanie said...

I would break up with you if
1. are physically or emotionally abusive.
2. you treat your mother badly( that tells me you'll treat me badly)
3.Sniff Coke- can't do it. I hate that ish.
4.Have an extensive criminal record.
These are my deal breakers. Most scenarios are workable if your with the right person.

Brooke said...

@Midnight,

We could get along outside of football season :)

People really don't know how to make Kool-Aid? How is that possible?

Brooke said...

@Anna,

Forgot about that one. If you're gay, we can't be together...it only makes sense.

Stephanie said...

@ Brooke making a proper batch of Kool Aid is an art form. It can't have 2 much sugar and you HAVE to and fresh lemon or lime to get those juicy bits.

Rameer The ILLAnstract said...

Lmfao @ Midnight...

I've got a question - I know most women are Swayze if a dude goes gay. But how many dudes would be out the door if you found your girl "experimenting" with her fine best girl?? But she still wants to be with you??

Hmmm...lolz!

Sillouette said...

Wow that a good question Brooke.. I have personally been thru so much
in realtionships especially this last one.
My tolerance level is below negative zero for anything.Im just tired mentally and
emotioanlly for any non sense. And like everyone else TRUST and BETRAYEL...
My trust has been betrayed on every level imagainable. And I've tried to work past it and its hard,
and i wouldn't put myself thru the touture of "trying to get past it" again.. It never comes back 100%..
So I would say violation of my trust ever or ever again..
And it outty 5000 my friend.. No questions asked...

Along with Verbal, mental, physical,and emotional abuse. Been there!!
Cant do it. I cant be held responsible for your issues or take the flack for what someone else did...
If you have any criminal convictions or addictions your OUT, any babymama drama,
got ALOT of kids, your OUT. Or any mental issues, and or carrying essessive emotional past baggage that
you seen to cant get past. I aint wit it.. Go seek help and spare other people the grief, especially me.

Stef said...

Sillouette just eliminated half the men in NYC, LLOL!

Annamaria said...

@Stef: she eliminated more than half... She eliminated 90%...

She elimnated half. Then you add in the 20% that are Gay and the 20% that are married & your almost done.

The Cable Guy said...

@Rameer,

Believe it or not, I wouldn't be out if a woman told me she experimented with women, but if she CHEATED on me with a woman, I'd break up with her. Cheating is cheating, no matter who it's with.

By the way, I'd also break up with her if she lied and told me the baby was mine and I was raising it as my own. I'd break up with her if she was physically abusive - some women don't know how to keep their hands to themselves and I ain't going to jail for nobody.

Stef said...

TRUE Anna!

It's sad what we have to choose from.

Sillouette said...

@ Anna and Stef

Well if its like that up there in NYC then..The South is eliminated all together. its to the point that i dont even wan to get married.. AT ALL!!! lol

Annamaria said...

thank god i found an ungay, unmarried, un any of the things Silloute said man! LMAO

Stef said...

@Sillouette,

Yeah, single is best sometimes.

@Anna,

I thought you said you had some baby mama drama at some point? I thought I remembered that.

Either way, everyone has some kind of issue, no one is perfect. It's all just a matter of what your deal breakers are.

Yolanda said...

My posts from earlier...



Yolanda said...
First le beeeshes!

HIT ME!
CHEAT ON ME!

That's my list :-)

June 8, 2011 12:58 PM

Yolanda said...
Ok, I have some more for my list...I didn't want anyone to beat me at being first though. I'm that competitive.

I concur with the fathering a child outside of the marriage/relationship.

I don't do well with liars either. My trust is not easily earned. I don't let people in very easily and once you've broken down my wall, if you betray my trust, it sends me for a nose dive.

I think it would also be a challenge if the person you loved acquired some nasty habits or habits you don't approve of during the relationship. I bet Queen Latifah was a smoker and a drinker long before she met Jeanette Jenkins, so can you really complain if the person continues that behavior? But, if the behavior gets worse or if the person acquires a drinking/drug problem during the course of the relationship, then I believe I'm the kind of person who would stick it out and try my best to help them through it. But I've also seen how addiction works and I refuse to be an enabler, so at some point, that could become a dealbreaker. You can't be cracked out and stealing my flatscreens and stuff.

Excessive gambling could also become a dealbreaker. Like, if you gamble away the mortgage a few times, we'd have a real problem.

I might think up some more later...

June 8, 2011 1:08 PM

Annamaria said...

@Stef....we don't have baby mama drama..... We just aren't too fond of each other. We tolerate each other for the kids sake but if I saw her crossing the street & no one was around... I can't say I'd slam on the breaks..... :)

BUT he does a very good job of keeping things under control & not allowing any drama to be part of our lives. We've had one or two incidents but for the most part we are drama free...

Sillouette said...

@ Anna,

Its so funny cuz I feel the EXACT same way about me mans Babymama. She got upset one time becuause she said that I dont "Aknowledge" her. LOL.. I just feel like I dont need to talk to you or try and make friends. Your not my problem and we dont have any business. You and the Father need to talk if need be not me, I dont get involoved.. AT ALL.

You just seem to NOT be able to keep my name out of your mouth becuase you wannaget a rise outta me.. Pathetic becuz it will never happen.

@ Stef, Yes.. SINGLE IS BETTER.. And that is my next route if comes down to it.

Stef said...

We just need sex buddies!

Sillouette said...

Yea if that can be done right ATLEAST!!! LOL Without any complications on their part..lol

Serena W. said...

Long day! Great blog Brooke! I'd leave if a brother ever hit me!

OR

If he threatened to do physical harm (heck no...I'll pull out the Vaseline on you in a minute lol)!

Also if he is personally abusing himself and its killing our relationship and the one with your/our family. (I dated someone who was an alcoholic years ago) it destroyed our relationship and almost the one he had with his daughter. Very sad. Tried to hang in there but between his abuse, lies and everything else it got to be too much.

A liar!

Betrayed my trust (good one Rameer)!

Everything else was said...

Also we wouldn't work if you didn't believe in God. Major deal breaker!

Tony said...

Purposely physically hurt me, my kids or my Mother.....Otherwise I am with her until the end.........

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