Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Men, Women, Money, Success

Happy Hump Day!

I have fire red lips today – just thought I’d share that :-)

Anyway, this morning’s topic on the radio was women who are more successful than their man, and how that can doom a relationship. They mentioned that Nick Minaj has allegedly broken it off with her long time boyfriend and fiancĂ© (who knew she was engaged?), and they think the reason is because she’s gotten too successful and he can't deal.

They went on to mention several other couplings that have ended in divorce because the woman was simply “too big” for her man. Jennifer Lopez and her first 2 husbands…whoever they were. Christina Aguilerra and Jordan Bratman. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown – although he WAS the King of R&B according to her. The list goes on.

So that begs the question of the day: Can a woman be WAY more successful and make more money than her man and they still live happily ever after?

Mary J and Kendu manage. So do Jessica Alba and Cash Warren. Personally, I thought J-Lo and Diddy made a interesting couple – until a shoot out in a club sent her running. I think she’s found her match in Marc Anthony, who is perfectly happy gazing at her with adoring eyes and pretending she can sing….with his scrawny little self :-) And the ultimate: Oprah and Stedman. There is no bigger shadow to be in than Oprah’s…but Stedman holds his own.

Most think a woman has to be equally yoked with her man in order for them to stay together – like Jigga and Beyonce. They say it doesn't necessarily matter if a successful, rich man marries a nanny - a la El Tigre Woods - but if the woman is making paper - he has to be ballin' too in order for her to not feel like his (sugar) mama.

So what say you? Most of us may not be FAMOUS, and success is measured by different standards…so let’s make it easy – money. How many women out there would be okay making WAY more money than her man? Does that mean you call the shots, or is he still the head of the household – if there is such a thing?

Men: would you be comfortable dating/marrying a woman who made significantly more money than you do? Do you think you could ever be a “house husband” or a kept man? Or does your manhood dictate that you make more money, or at least have your own gig?

Let’s hear it!

Go!

-b

22 comments:

Stef said...

FIRST BITCHES!

Stef said...

FINALLY!

The Cable Guy said...

She was ON it today! LOL!

I have no problem dating or marrying a woman who makes more money than I do, or who would be famous. Part of what attracts me to women is their intelligence and drive, so I tend to date women who are successful in their own right or who make a decent amount of money.

Being the cable guy dictats that I'm not rich :) but having a job that I like and am proud of means something to me. There have been women who have turned me away because I was the cable guy and they wanted a man who made more money. To each her own. But I'm perfectly comfortable with who I am and what I bring to the table. If a woman wants to overlook me because of what I do or how much I DON'T make, so be it...but I've dated plenty of women who had no problem dating me and making more money. When 2 people are comfortable with who they are and what each brings to the relationship from a non material standpoint, any relationship can work so long as each person feels they're being respected.

Jay said...

Kudos Cable Guy...my sentiments exactly.

I have no problem being with a woman who makes more than I do. We're equals in the relationship - we lean on each other and no one takes advantage of the other. I've dated women who made more money than I do, but I still pick up the check. Just because someone makes more money doesn't mean they manage that money well, or that they'd share it with you. It's give and take.

I personally couldn't be a house husband or a kept man. Not my thing. If I had to stay home for the kids, MAYBE I could do it - but most likely I'd be working from home. I need to have a sense of purpose, so being a "kept" man wouldn't do it for me.

Jay said...

oh, and Brooke - that you have red lips today did NOT go unnoticed. You should have posted a pic!

Stef said...

I don't have a problem making more money than my man. I still expect him to be the man and pull his weight, and I don't think it means I call the shots. I have to respect him to be with him, so if he was just chillin at hom doing nothing, I wouldn't respect that. We can build together so long as we each respect each other.

Sillouette said...

Hey ALL!!!

I dont have any problem making more money than my man especially if hes a good man. Why waste your time counting numbers. As long as he has a good thing going and he is happy is all I care about. And if you love him or her, what you have is for you both to share if you want. I do expect him to still be a man of course and he would still wear the crown of head of the household. What important is that bother are there to help each other and catch each other backs and respect what that other bring to the table unselfishlessly to that you two can live in harmony and peace. A woman or and man should never downt he other because you make a few thousand more or what have you. Share the fruits of labor together and appreciate one another...:)

Jaz said...

Nicki Minaj was engaged? Who knew?!

I have no problem dating a man who makes less than me, but he has to work. If he makes less than me, both incomes are needed, cuz I don't make that much money! LOL!

Serena W. said...

Hey everyone! Great topic Brooke!

Sillouette your quote, "Share the fruits of labor together and appreciate one another" is deep. A lot of people don't know how to work out one of the key words in there "share."

I once met a couple in Dallas (actually a few couples) and the woman was banking serious money and he pulled his weight and made his money. What they were doing was living off her salary and banking his complete salary.

I'll repeat...they banked his whole salary every year. They all had goals and dreams of retiring early and enjoying those fruits of labor at an early age. I wish more people thought like that.

Of course I was curious and asked, "Did either of you have debt before you started saving money."

They all had debt at one point of time but when she started banking serious money they used his salary to pay of their debt. They shared everything.

I have no problem making more money than my man and he wouldn't have that problem either.

What's important to me is our happiness and the future whether he's making more loot than me or not. As long as he's pulling his weight and contributing towards the household, our family, etc...we're cool!

Geeque said...

@Sillouette - Well said!!!!

Those were beautiful words!!!!

Geeque said...

Right on Serna W.!!!!!

Brooke said...

I would LOVE to bank my entire salary for a couple years :-)

Sillouette said...

@ Serena W and Geeque..

Thanks you both.. :) Yall got me smiling and stuff.. LOL

It came from the heart , I didnt quote it from anywhere... LOL

Sillouette said...

@Serena W

Girlfriend I think you just gave me a great I idea. Omg. What that couple did that you met in Dallas were ULTRA smart... My good ness I have never heard of anyone doing that. Bravo to them for making such a smart move. And much thanks to you for sharing. I'm goin to actually talk to my boyfriend tonite bout that.. I'm sure he will see it as a win/win situation. :)

Rameer The ILLAbstract said...

YOOOOO - that banking the entire salary story is DOPE. Damn - THAT'S whassup.

I think Captain Cable and Hov handled what my response would've been. Props to both men on giving great responses - as y'all always do...

Malik said...

Yes, and I would love every minute of it, but I do believe I would probably have a lil' side home business joint to keep my mind occupied.

Brooke said...

I know a couple who banks the one spouse's salary too and it just makes so much sense if you can do it. At first it was just "her money" that she could do whatever she wanted with - but then her husband asked if they could use her salary to pay off all their debt and then start saving. He thought she'd say no since she like to shop, but to his surprise, she was totally for it. That's how you build together for your future - compromise, maybe a lil sacrifice and common sense and purpose.

The Cable Guy said...

Thanks Rameer - what you been up to?

I nominate Rameer to take over DMoe's duties on the playlist since he fell off. I need new music.

jakynd said...

People who look for a partner of the "Right Paygrade" are merely showing their own insecurities. Just bcuz you make alot of money doesn't necessarily mean you manage it well. I know "Blue Collar" workers who will out-manage/finance the sh*t out of some of these so called "White Collar" workers who fall prey to their vices each and every payday. So go ahead a look for that male/female partner who makes more money and SEARCH for the one who can handle/manage hos or her money and see where that gets you.

jakynd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Success is measured & defined differently by everyone. It's difficult to date an entertainer no matter how popular or "un" they are...Sometimes people just want different things.

Mona Monro said...

There have been women who have turned me away because I was the cable guy and they wanted a man who made more money. To each her own. But I'm perfectly comfortable with who I am and what I bring to the table.

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