Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Happy Hump Day!
I have a bottle of hot sauce on my book shelf at work. No, I don’t keep it there just in case I need to make my food taste extra spicy. Although it’s real hot sauce, it’s promotional - a bottle used to promote The Alamo on The History Channel. It’s there for show…not for food.
If you like hot sauce on your food, then I love it. Good for you. But I rarely use it. Like…almost never. Why am I telling you this?
Because, apparently I’m not “really black” if I don’t put hot sauce on fried chicken, fish and popcorn. Yes, I said popcorn. Weird right? Or is that just me? I guess it’s just me.
Now I’m not saying those who put hot sauce on everything are “more black” than I am. As much as I find that to be strange, I don’t consider it hood, ghetto, ridiculous or anything like that. That would be silly. It just is what it is…and a person’s preferences are simply that. But some Black folks who have been to my house and asked for hot sauce to go with their meal were FLOORED that I, a Black woman, didn’t have a bottle of hot sauce in my apartment.
So this post is about things that NOT ALL Black people like. Need more examples? Wanna hear it? Here it go…
1. Fake nails. Especially with the color only on the tips. Not my favorite thing to see, but if it floats your boat – rock with it. But just know that not all of us rock 6 inch fingernails with glitter on them.
2. Sports. Not all black people are athletically gifted. I love sports personally, but that doesn’t mean every little black boy has a shot at the NBA simply because he’s Black. Or tall.
3. Tyler Perry. Or Spike Lee. You’re not obligated to love…or even like their movies. It’s okay, no one will take your black card away.
4. Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson. Choose your own Black leaders and role models. You can make fun of Al’s perm all day long if you want – I won’t hate on you for that. It’s not blasphemy.
5. Barack Obama. I personally love this man, but just because you’re Black, it doesn’t mean you can’t disagree with how he’s running the country, or question some of his decisions. I’ve seen some people ready to take another Black person’s head off simply for speaking against his ideals and policies. We can hold him accountable too.
6. Tupac. Just because the man is dead doesn’t make it a sin to actually admit that you don’t love his music that much. I’d add Biggie and Jigga to this list, but they’re in the no slander zone :-)
7. Oprah. I. Love. Her. Period. I respect her hustle. But if another Black person doesn’t share my same love for her, it’s perfectly okay. I drink the Kool-Aid willingly :-)
8. Speaking of….(red) Kool-Aid, pork and mayonnaise. We don’t have to like ANY of that stuff. I actually know some Black folks who like Miracle Whip. Gross….but hey, they can like it if they want to.
9. Thug dudes. While I know most of our sistas like the “bad boys” and Allen Iverson wannabees…I can’t say that I’ve ever been attracted to hood dudes. So if you have saggy pants, corn rows and only own construction boots…you might as well keep it moving. I tend to like the “Barack’s” with the “daddy jeans” myself. :-)
10. Speaking of corn rows. Not all black people like “afro-centric” hairstyles. Locs, an afro, natural hair, braids – I don’t have to wear them to be “black.” I’m just as black with relaxed or straightened hair, so stop turning your perfectly coiffed coiled nose up at me.
11. Black Planet and Twitter. Black people love to tweet for some reason. I don’t. I can’t get with it….and Black Planet was never on my radar. Don’t get it.
12. Tattoos. A million of them.
13. OJ. Some of us think he actually did it.
14. Hennessey or any other alcoholic beverage. Popping bottles in the club doesn’t do it for me. I’m not that big of a drinker, which always lands me the side eye. Why is getting drunk cool? I never understood that one.
15. Weed. I’ve never inhaled anything into my lungs ever. And I never plan to. Not all Black people get high. Some of us are just high on life :-)
Give your list of things that NOT ALL Black (or Latino) people like.