Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Happy Hump Day!

I have a bottle of hot sauce on my book shelf at work. No, I don’t keep it there just in case I need to make my food taste extra spicy. Although it’s real hot sauce, it’s promotional - a bottle used to promote The Alamo on The History Channel. It’s there for show…not for food.

If you like hot sauce on your food, then I love it. Good for you. But I rarely use it. Like…almost never. Why am I telling you this?

Because, apparently I’m not “really black” if I don’t put hot sauce on fried chicken, fish and popcorn. Yes, I said popcorn. Weird right? Or is that just me? I guess it’s just me.

Now I’m not saying those who put hot sauce on everything are “more black” than I am. As much as I find that to be strange, I don’t consider it hood, ghetto, ridiculous or anything like that. That would be silly. It just is what it is…and a person’s preferences are simply that. But some Black folks who have been to my house and asked for hot sauce to go with their meal were FLOORED that I, a Black woman, didn’t have a bottle of hot sauce in my apartment.

So this post is about things that NOT ALL Black people like. Need more examples? Wanna hear it? Here it go…

1. Fake nails. Especially with the color only on the tips. Not my favorite thing to see, but if it floats your boat – rock with it. But just know that not all of us rock 6 inch fingernails with glitter on them.

2. Sports. Not all black people are athletically gifted. I love sports personally, but that doesn’t mean every little black boy has a shot at the NBA simply because he’s Black. Or tall.

3. Tyler Perry. Or Spike Lee. You’re not obligated to love…or even like their movies. It’s okay, no one will take your black card away.

4. Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson. Choose your own Black leaders and role models. You can make fun of Al’s perm all day long if you want – I won’t hate on you for that. It’s not blasphemy.

5. Barack Obama. I personally love this man, but just because you’re Black, it doesn’t mean you can’t disagree with how he’s running the country, or question some of his decisions. I’ve seen some people ready to take another Black person’s head off simply for speaking against his ideals and policies. We can hold him accountable too.

6. Tupac. Just because the man is dead doesn’t make it a sin to actually admit that you don’t love his music that much. I’d add Biggie and Jigga to this list, but they’re in the no slander zone :-)

7. Oprah. I. Love. Her. Period. I respect her hustle. But if another Black person doesn’t share my same love for her, it’s perfectly okay. I drink the Kool-Aid willingly :-)

8. Speaking of….(red) Kool-Aid, pork and mayonnaise. We don’t have to like ANY of that stuff. I actually know some Black folks who like Miracle Whip. Gross….but hey, they can like it if they want to.

9. Thug dudes. While I know most of our sistas like the “bad boys” and Allen Iverson wannabees…I can’t say that I’ve ever been attracted to hood dudes. So if you have saggy pants, corn rows and only own construction boots…you might as well keep it moving. I tend to like the “Barack’s” with the “daddy jeans” myself. :-)

10. Speaking of corn rows. Not all black people like “afro-centric” hairstyles. Locs, an afro, natural hair, braids – I don’t have to wear them to be “black.” I’m just as black with relaxed or straightened hair, so stop turning your perfectly coiffed coiled nose up at me.

11. Black Planet and Twitter. Black people love to tweet for some reason. I don’t. I can’t get with it….and Black Planet was never on my radar. Don’t get it.

12. Tattoos. A million of them.

13. OJ. Some of us think he actually did it.

14. Hennessey or any other alcoholic beverage. Popping bottles in the club doesn’t do it for me. I’m not that big of a drinker, which always lands me the side eye. Why is getting drunk cool? I never understood that one.

15. Weed. I’ve never inhaled anything into my lungs ever. And I never plan to. Not all Black people get high. Some of us are just high on life :-)

Give your list of things that NOT ALL Black (or Latino) people like.

Go!

-b

25 comments:

phillygrl said...

Brooke....you hit the nail on the head...I do not like "SOUL FOOD" or hot sauce....nor do I like Kente cloth. I also do not care for Tyler Perry's shows(the Browns?)I have been accused by my own GRANDMOTHER, jokingly, that I am not Black? b/c I dont like Gizzards and all this type of food...JEsse & Al are LEADERS, but I don't consider them MY black leaders, I agree with you on that point. but I have to say BOOOO to the Daddy Jeans....I like some Thug, but cleans up real well ina TUX!:-)...and speaking correct English!

The Fury said...

Not all Black people like phillygrl because she was first today. I can probably think of 20 or so people reading this that hate her damn guts right now

Not all Black women like receiving oral sex. I know a few women that prefer to give.

Contrary to what some Black women think not all Black men are fiending to bed White women.

Not all Black women are disgusted by anal sex.

Not all Black people are highly oversexed. I know quite a few who are extremely prudish and low sexed

Just my 69 cents...

Geeque said...

I love me some Hot Sauce!!!!! LOL

Sillouette said...

Hey All!! I love this post Brooke.. Good Job!!! lol I totally agree with you 2000%...

ejackson said...

Thank you for this blog!! Sometimes I feel like people on my floor are looking at me to see if the stereotypes are true...there are only 2 of us and I am not sure how many of "us" they come in contact with outside of work. To add to your list:

-not all of us think it's cool to butcher the English language...some of us pride ourselves in speaking correctly.

-the "n-word" is not entrenched in all black people vocabulary - some of us are disgusted by the use of it

-not all black women have an attitude problem and pop our neck

-not all black people come from single parent homes OR call their grand mothers "mom" and their mother's "pam"

-not all black people are from the ghetto...some were raised in the suburbs

Annamaria said...

Hi everyone...I am a Puerto Rican... and I do NOT like Beans..

(and I only have one kid & I didn't have her at 12 and I know who her daddy is & he doesn't wear wife beaters OR drink heineken..Heck he ain't even PR..)

Stef said...

I was in a meeting when this post came out, so Phillygirl beat me! Yes, some black folks go to meetings. LOL!

I HATE collard greens, black eyed peas and bacon. My favorite food is actually Italian.

Fury is right - I can take or leave oral sex. Both giving and receiving.

I'm with you Brooke on the natural hair thing. I like my relaxed hair.

Al Sharpton works my nerves.

EJackson - I hate ebonics and the N word. Totally agree!

And I've never done the electric slide.

Stef said...

and why are all Fury's sexual things? :)

Brooke said...

I laughed out loud at Anna's comment - "and I don't like BEANS!" LOL!

@Stef,

um...would you expect anything DIFFERENT from Fury? :)

I don't like pig feet, hog maws (not even sure what that is) or liver, gizzards OR turkey necks.

Sillouette said...

Annndddd. Not all black people listen to only rap music..

*I like, Linkin Park, Nickelback, Goo Goo Dolls, Hall And Oates to name a few and Everlast(introduced to me by my boyfriend who I will say is Puerto Rican)and he does not wear a wife beater and baggy pants nor use profane language or listen to heavy rap music...

*I hate the N- Word

*I dont do hot sauce like that.

*I dont eat pork, pig feet, chiterlings, hog maw, fat back ,or any of that crazy stuff, it reminds me of slavery food.

*I dont do wild colord nails, or fake nails at all.

*And I despise gold teeth.

*I dont even care for fried Chicken like that, I prefer baked chicken instead...


this is just to name a few.lol

The Fury said...

@Stef - whoa whoa whoa What do you mean you don't like oral sex giving or receiving?? That's a typical Black woman statement! ughh! LMAO

and yeah what was I supposed to say? You want me to say I'm Black and I don't like...fried chicken? *pulls crispy skin off chicken* Hell yes I do!

@Annamaria - doesn't like beans? What kinda shit is that!!? How...nevermind...

Stef said...

Fury,

I give and recieve happily - but if my dude said he was never going down on me ever again, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it! LOL!

The Cable Guy said...

I'm Jamaican and HATE curry. There, I said it.

I actually like all those artists you named Silloutte. I"m not really into reggae either.

Jaz said...

Can we talk about grits for a second? And sunflower seeds? Don't like either.

And I'm sorry he's dead but I never really liked Tupac like that.

And I LOVE fried chicken, but the minute you put hot sauce on it, I'm done.

The Fury said...

@Stef - ahhh so you don't care about receiving, but are you giving happily and vigorously? What if we put hot sauce on it? LOL

Geeque said...

@Fury - LMAO!!!!

Stef said...

If you put hot sauce on it, I won't do it!

but maybe chocolate! LOL!

BatMan said...

Oh Yeah Stef!!!! LOL

Sillouette said...

@ The Cable Guy

Thats cool! Those are some great artist. I love the sound of the guiter. I wish i knew how to play it.

* And also too not all black women get braids and french rolls. I have never had either. Not for me..lol...

* And not all black people know how to make Kool-Aid. Because I sure don't.. LOL

* Not all black and Latin People have lived in the projects, or cash there checks at the corner store, and get food stamps every month and on welfare...

Gosh I could go on for ever.lol. I really hate stereotypes... lol


@Stef

Oh my Stef, you lil devil you.. LOL

Someone please help me, What in the world are " Daddy Jeans"??? lol

The Fury said...

@Stef - oh chocolate, huh.... well let me grab this vat of ghirardelli and let's goooooooo

Brooke said...

@Silloutte,

They always make fun of Barack Obama for waering "daddy jeans" - I guess the male equivolent of "mommy jeans" :-) High waist, light wash etc.

@Fury,

Someone who reads my blog just came up to me and asked me why your'e so freaky...talking about oral sex and what not. I told her you have a sex blog and showed her your site - she's now a follower :)

The Fury said...

@Brooke - Oh yeah...sorry I sometimes forget that you have new readers and they don't know my persona so all the sex stuff is a surprise.

Welcome new follower! And Thank you Brooke.

Black people DO write sex blogs!

Brooke said...

She sits behind me now, so I even risked the firewall and the disclaimer to show her your site :)

She was like "is that Halle Berry? I have to check him out!" LOL!

She reads late in the day :) She said you all were a tough crowd :)

The Fury said...

@Brooke - wow you are a true friend. next time I see you remind me to give you something special for being so daring. hehehehe

yes that is Halle Berry on the new post.

It is a tough crowd, but we're all warm and fuzzy really.

Brooke said...

how come I can't see Serena's comments in this section? My computer is acting up.

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