Hillary for President!
8 years ago
Friday, January 21, 2011
TGIF like a MUGGG!!
This week seemed to last forever!
And I'm tired of snow.
But anyway...
Do any of you watch the ABC News show "What Would You Do?" It airs on Friday nights, and here is a glimpse of tonight's episode:
Which leads me to the question of the day: What would YOU do if your son wanted to play with Barbie/baby dolls?
We don't seem to think much of it if a little girl wanted to play with a Tonka truck or Hot Wheels cars, but if your son/nephew/grandson asked you to buy him a Barbie Doll, the social stigma would be much greater. Even my nephews seem to inherently know that "pink stuff is for girls" and "blue stuff is for boys."
To take it step further, what if your son wanted to dress up as a Princess? Do you allow him to express himself freely, or do you force him to wear pants and tell him that dresses are for girls?
What would YOU do?
-b
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14 comments:
First Bitches!!!!
DAMN YOU Ant!!!!!!!!!
I don't think there is anything wrong with your son OR mine playing with Dolls. If you make it a big deal & beat him & freak out I think that's when it will cause him to eventually wonder & question things. Kids are innocent & don't have the crazy perverted ideas that we have.
Sophia plays with her big brother's cars all the time. And he sits with her & plays with her pink blocks & her other toys with her. Doesn't make them anything...
Tough call...
I'd be cautious about a son's choices, and wouldn't discourage him (not right away). I think I'd be more intent on figuring out why he chooses that doll.
Without being too hard on a kid for their natural aversion to one vs. the other, I'd wanna have a look behind the choice.
DMoe
I think kids also naturally want to play with things they aren't supposed to. We have a centerpiece on our coffee table. Every day I tell Sophia not to play with the rocks in the centerpiece... EVERY DAY she plays with the stupid rocks!!!! And she looks at me while she's doing it because she knows she's not supposed to... So the lil boy could be playing with dolls as a way to rebel.
I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't give my son the side if he asked me for a Barbie out of the blue, especially since it's been my experience that children tend to like/play with what you buy or give them. If at the age of 5 my son asked me for a Barbie, when he's been playing with cars up until then, then I'd wonder where that came from, like DMoe said.
If he was exposed to it at school or from a cousin he was playing with, I'd be able to understand it better. But if he just did it out of the blue, I'd wonder why. That's not to say that I wouldn tell him not to play with it at school or at a playdate, but I have to be honest and say that I wouldn't buy it for him.
As for the dress, again, I'd wonder why. That's a bit trickier because a toy is a toy, but a dress? That's something else. He wouldn't be able to wear the dress, I'm sorry.
If my son were to be gay, there's nothing I'd be able to do to stop it, and I'd still love him. But until he got to be a teenager where he can express himself to me about what he is or what he feels, I'm not going to allow him to dress like a girl. Sorry.
Hey Annamaria, So-So could be telling you to kick rocks lol!
Sorry I had too :)
But really this is a tough call and I'm with everyone on here. Don't make a huge deal out of it yet because children are innocent and will play with anything that they aren't supposed too.
You also don't want to scare them.
My grandmother still tells me the story of how I broke Papa's 8 track player by sticking my Weebles in them! LOL. He was mad because his player was broken and I was sad because my Weebles took an "L."
Sheesh.
So are we saying boys aren't "supposed" to want to play with dolls?
I'm saying it would be unusual for MY son to do that now since he only plays with cars. I won't say what you're supposed to do or not, but it would be odd if he started doing that for no reason.
I think it's interesting what the kindergarten teacher said in the video. She said little boys play the role of the dad sometimes and want to change the dolls diapers, feed them, clothe them, etc. Which makes me wonder if we should ENCOURAGE little boys to play with dolls so that they grow up to be more active fathers or particpate more in child rearing. Men tend to feel that being the primary caregiver is the "woman's job." Maybe playing with dolls can help with that.
@Ms. Penn,
I don't think one has anything to do with the other. I never played with dolls and I'm an active father in my son's life and have been from the beginning. I don't believe changing diapers is a woman's thing, or feeding my son, or dressing him. It's a PARENT thing. If you're a man who doesn't like doing that, then you're not a good parent, period. Playing with dolls or not playing with dolls won't make you a better or worse parent.
@Cable Guy,
I agree with you to a certain extent.... You might not have played with dolls as a kid & from what I hear it sounds like you're a great dad BUT I'm sure that you had other influences in your life that helped you become the father you are today...
I can see Ms.Penn's example ringing true if those influences aren't present.
SO I think you both have a point.
This is a hard question. I don't think I would mind the dolls so much, but the dress would concern me. It would make me wonder if he felt like he was a little girl trapped in a boy's body, because I don't think that gay necessarily means "I want to be a princess."
If he felt he was really a girl, then I'd need to take my child to see a therapist to figure out where we go from there. I don't think most parents would know how to deal with that, so I'd need some guidance. But I doubt I'd write a book about it exploiting my child like that woman did with the book "Princess Boy."
@Annamaria,
I know some girls I grew up with who played with baby dolls all day every day and are TERRIBLE mothers now. I know some women who grew up with Easy Bake Ovens and can't cook a lick! There's a difference between REAL LIFE and PLAY TIME.
Playing with dolls might show a nurturing side in some women, but not all and I don't think we should assume that women who played with dolls are going to be great mothers and those who didn't play with them aren't caring. Brooke didn't play with dolls and I think she'd make a great mother.
And just to be clear, I don't think that just because a boy plays with trucks, he's straight. I kinda agree with Stef in that I'd wonder if there was something deeper going on.
@Cable Guy...Like I said. i don't think the toys represent to TOTAL picture. I think other things go into it. such as your parent, the environment you grew up in and your influences.... The dolls don't show the total picture.. BUT they may or may not spark a curiosity into a trait you may or may not want to have.
@Stef... I don't agree with writing a book & exploiting your child either. A lot of parents would be scared & are afraid of "Therapy" and psychologists...and i think that is foolish
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