Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Dear Brookey...Funky Spunk

I know that title got your attention....let's go!

Dear Brookey,

I know today isn’t TMI Tuesday, so you can feel free to save this post for the next one if you want, but after the “going downtown” blog from yesterday, I figured I’d write you about another touchy sex topic: swallowing. I can’t do it. I have no problem performing oral sex, but I refuse to swallow his cum. Once it’s in my mouth, I spit it out, and my boyfriend is offended by it. I think it’s disgusting, the taste repulses me and I think it’s unsanitary. I feel that he should appreciate that I’m giving him a blowjob in the first place, and asking me to swallow is rude. What do you think?


- Not Doing It

Umm….hmm…lemme think.

The quick answer is this: if you are uncomfortable with it, then don’t do it. No one should feel obligated to swallow jiz if they don’t want to. If it repulses you, then the last thing he needs is for you to vomit his own cum back up on him. Just gross.

However…

Maybe there’s something he can do to make it taste better? I’ve heard that if a man drinks cranberry or pineapple juice, the taste can be less…nasty? I don’t know what his spunk tastes like, or if you think it all tastes the same no matter what, but maybe he can change his diet to make it less ikky. After all, you cum what you eat :-) If he drinks, smokes, eats a lot of junk food, etc., then his stuff probably makes you wanna throw up in your mouth a little bit. Strongly spiced dishes, like curry, can also carry their flavors over into his cum. Of course, you don't want to restrict what he eats too much - everyone needs to have a balanced diet and eat what they like - but it's something to keep in mind: Men - if you're planning on getting head after dinner, you might want to skip the asparagus appetizer. Jus’sayin’.

The main complaints about the taste of semen are that it is bitter and salty. The taste buds on different areas of the tongue are sensitive to specific tastes: sweet on the tip of the tongue, salty and sour on the sides, and bitter at the back. When swallowing semen, you can minimize the unpleasant tastes by trying to keep it away from the corresponding parts of your tongue. Since the "bitter" taste buds at the back of the throat are the most problematic, the solution is either to overshoot them (by deep throating), or to pool the semen in the front of the mouth and then swallow quickly in one gulp. Make sure the cum spends as little time as possible lingering near the back of your palate.

Another tip to make the taste more pleasant is to pop an Altoid or Tic Tac right before going down there. He may enjoy the tingle and when he busts, his semen will get lost in the flavor of the Altoid and you won’t taste a thing. Don’t use anything that has any alcohol in it, like mouthwash or breath spray, cuz that could sting….so I’ve heard :-)

Or you could use food to get rid of the taste. Have fun with it - use fruit, popsicles, chocolate or whipped cream on him, and it can mask the taste. Have a can of whipped cream next to the bed, and after he comes, stick the nozzle in your mouth and chase his cum with an extra shot of “cream.” He might think it’s sexy….who knows.

Now, if you think it’s unsanitary, that translates to me that you think there’s something in his semen that’ll make you sick. This may be true if he’s walking around with an STD, but if he’s your boyfriend, you both are exclusive and have been tested for every STD under the sun, then there’s nothing unhealthy about it. Sperm only accounts for a small about of semen, the rest (about 90 percent) is seminal fluid, which is composed of dozens of chemical components. The base of seminal fluid is primarily fructose (sugar) and proteins, with many other trace minerals and substances. Seminal fluid is a veritable nutrient-rich soup. Semen is a source of highly concentrated, high-quality protein. In dietary terms, it's comparable to egg whites or gelatin. At the end of the day, healthy semen (that is, cum produced by a well-nourished, disease-free man) may in fact be not only safe to eat, but actually good for you.

As far as him being offended, think of it like this – what if after going down on you, he immediately got up, went to the bathroom and gargled Listerine to get the taste of you out of his mouth? You might feel some kinda way right? That’s probably how he feels. I don’t know how long you two have been dating, but most men in a relationship probably view you swallowing his stuff as a form of acceptance, and spitting it out as some sort of rejection. I’m not saying you have to do it to show him how much you love him, I’m just imagining how he feels after you spit his spunk out into the nearest towel. You think it’s rude of him to ask, but he might consider it impolite to spit it out. I'm just looking at it from both sides. I just hope you’re not actually spitting it ON him. Cum soaked towels are messy to get rid of too…swallowing just seems…neater :-)

At the end of the day, you should do what feels most comfortable to you, and him harassing you about it probably doesn’t help. Just discuss it with him, when you’re NOT in bed, and make him aware your concerns. If after reading this you still think it’s gross and unsanitary, then don’t do it…do what is best for you. Good luck!

-b

33 comments:

BatMan said...

#1

Stef said...

He didn't say "first bitches" so it doesn't count! LOL!

Cum tastes nasty, but swallowing is easier. Every time I spit it out, I wind up getting it on my sheets, the nightstand, on ME, whatever. Not cool.

But I get what she's saying, and if she doens't want to do it, then she doesn't have to. He should be glad she's sucking him off period.

The Cable Guy said...

Great advice Brooke, and some helpful tips :-) LOL!

I don't require that a woman swallow, but if she does? Maaaan listen. Even better if she keeps sucking WHILE you're cumming. That's a toe curling climax right there! A woman who sucks you dry? You won't have to worry about him going no where.

The Fury said...

I totally agree...and am intrigued by Brooke's answer ;-)

The key for spitting is she should do it with flair. Don't gag and spazz out like you just ate a shit dumpling. Woman up! Here are some ideas:

1) Hold it in your mouth give him the one second finger raise then quickly let it ooze into a waiting plastic cup/sink/napkin nearby.

2)Go the porno route: Drool it all over his johnson like "ahhh you see what you did, I'm so nasty..." When you're really just getting it out ya mouth.

3)Go all extra porno on his ass: Let it drool out our mouth over yoru chin and let it drip...then wipe it off. LOL

4)Go Super porno on his ass: Kiss your girlfriend that's joined you and let her deal with it!

Jay said...

Um...Brooke, why do you know so much about this subject? ;) I'm intrigued...and slightly aroused :)

Stef said...

Fury is so damn nasty! I just KNEW he'd have some mess to say!

LOL!

Once time I tried to kiss my man with it still in my mouth to transfer it to him and he almost punched me in the face! LOL!

Craig n 'em said...

I'm erect...

Craig n 'em said...

This is why I have a high honey diet...

Yolanda said...

Brooke is right about the "you are what you eat" concept. I saw this post last month. Now I have a place to share it. LOL

http://thegloss.com/sex-and-dating/the-top-5-foods-you-dont-want-your-fella-to-consume-before-you-give-him-oral/

I've always been of the "why get a license if you aren't going to drive" tribe. But, if you're gonna take the keys and not drive (man, I'm full of the clichés today), there are ways to do the deed and just let it artfully mix with your saliva and keep on truckin' (but never swallow).

The Cable Guy said...

Uh oh, Craig is back :) happy new year bruh!

DMoe said...

Ummmm...

Whassup yall.

First of all, @ Fury? Church.

U couldn't be mo righter.

As for the swallowing thing, I'm on Cable Guy's team also. If she swallows and continues, I'm buyin Christian Louboutins (sp?) or whatever the hell she wants...

It aint trickin if she swallows.

I'm Dmoe and I approve this message.

Brooke said...

ROLLING @ "Don't gag and spazz out like you just ate a shit dumpling"

I'm in TEARS over here! LMAO! I can't stop laughing!

Courtney said...

thanks for the link Yolanda!

Anonymous said...

Oh, just swallow it and shut the fuck up!

Stef said...

Wow, that was a little mean. Probably said by a man with nasty ass jiz LOL!

Craig n 'em said...

Women...

How would you feel if a man ate your PUSS like it was sunflower seeds. Suck the salt off and then spit. Suck and spit. Suck and spit. Spit bucket next to the bed. Sexy, right? Nooooo...You want a dude to swallow. Shells and all.

Craig n 'em said...

And don't act like you ain't never swallow bad tasting medicine....

I repeat...I have a high dosage of honey in my system...

Brooke said...

"shells"? LMAO!

I quit you all today ;-)

Jaz said...

Do men really have anything to swallow though? I mean really? Nothing shoots into ya'll mouth like it does with you guys. The most you might have to do is lick up some stuff, not swallow it.

Craig n 'em said...

Um...yes men swallow...Its just that its more cut and dry for women...Woman puts meat in mouth...pretends she's bobbing for apples then a milkshake is released...YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR JOB IS DONE!

When a man goes down on a woman, it's like sipping on hot soup! Cry me a fucking river! When is it over?

A mans dick gets wet, you stop.

A woman doesn't want you to stop till she goes DRY!!!

Ya'll some selfish muthafuckas...But I love you all...

TASTE DA SOUP! TASTE DA SOUP!

WHERE'S THE SPOON?

A HA!!! (long pause) A HA!!!

BatMan said...

@Jaz - someone women gush like a hydrant so yes men do have to swallow sometimes!! LOL

Rameer The Circumstance said...

I would be a paying member of Fury's congregation. Good GOD what he wrote is on-point...TABERNACLE!!!

As for the advice about diet - AMEN. I see we have some PROS in the house. And pineapple juice?

Nectar of the gods, my friends. My brother and his boys used to wonder 2 things when we were teens - (1) why I drank so much pineapple juice all the time and (2) how I always got my girls to go down AND swallow with no problem, while they always had to coax or negotiate with their girls. They didn't finally GET it until they hit around 18-19...

No woman should abstain from drinking The Juices Of Life...DRINK OF ME!!!

Lmfao...

Brooke said...

Craig is a fool :)

Jaz said...

I don't get the taste the soup joke?

Brooke said...

@Jaz,

Have you never seen "Coming to America"? It's at the very end of the movie. Classic!

Stef said...

Jaz,

It's from Coming to America - Eddie Murphy playing the old jewish guy. I think it's after the credits maybe? So funny!

George said...

@Brooke - You need to write a Blob about Tea Bagging!!!

I want to hear the womens view on that topic!! :-)

Jaz said...

I apparently have to watch that movie again :)

What is "tea bagging"?

Brooke said...

I'll let Fury write the blog about tea bagging :-) Or maybe "The Unlicker" since she spoke of "ball duty" in yesterday's comments :-)

The Cable Guy said...

@Jaz,

It's when a man straddles a woman's face and drops his nut sack in her mouth. Up and down, like he's dipping tea bags. LOL!

Jaz said...

that's nasty.

Mr. Nice Guy said...

Wow Brooke, will you marry me? :)

just jokes...my lady would kill me.

I can see why "Anonymous" from yesterday is mad he let you go, cos damn! You seem like an expert, and you definitely seem to know how to treat your man! Women, take notes.

And yes, @Jaz, men DO have to swallow. Some of you women have a lot of juice down there and if you're a squirter, then wach out!

Anonymous said...

I am not doing it! Hells to the N.O. I don't care how offended ole boy is. I'm not swallowing something coming out of a penis. Nope. I don't care how shiny my hair will be, how clear my skin will be, how natural it is.. Nope. Never. Not even if it was pasturized! Hell, I hardly want to drink milk as it is! And I'd damn sure never put my lips on a cows utter and drink so why the hell would I drink from a dick fountain? Yuck! No thanks.. Skeet skeet elsewhere thank you very much! F-dat. I'm good!

From,
The Unlicker

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