Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Happy Hump Day!
I'm sorry my posts have been getting later and later. My laptop at home has officially died on me, so I have to attempt to write my blogs from work. Being that they're treating me like my name is Kizzy, I barely have time to breathe, let alone think of something to blog about...and then actually write it. Once I get a new laptop, I'll be back in business!
So, yesterday, Monica and I were discussing women we know who wonder why men don't approach them. I mentioned a friend of mine who was always asking why men seem to gravitate towards me while they ignore her. She's smart, beautiful, and has a great body...so what could it be? I would say to her, "Maybe it's because you're always 'mean muggin' people. Smile!"
"Nah, that's not it," she'd say...snarling.
Oh well...I tried.
You'd be surprised how far a smile can go. Since I seem to be smiling all the time, perhaps that makes me a bit more approachable. I am by no means the most beautiful woman in the world, and I don't automatically assume all men will just come over and speak to me. I think sometimes the aura we give off has more to do with our inner spirit and happiness rather than our physical appearance - so women who depend solely on their looks are left baffled as to why men don't come sweep them off their feet.
But the reasons a man may not approach a woman are many more than a woman always giving the gas face. Here are some reasons I believe a woman may be unapproachable:
1. Looking Mean/Angry/Snobby - I touched on this already, but you'd be surprised how ugly a dime piece can look if she appears to be angry, have an attitude or is just plain arrogant. If you give off the appearance that you're too good to speak to anyone or that you'd be annoyed of a man stepped to you, then chances are you're driving him in the other direction. No one wants to speak to a person like that - man or woman. Having a smile on your face or at least appearing to be pleasant makes someone want to get to know you.
2. You look busy. If you're sitting on the train reading a book or doing work in the corner at Barnes & Noble or Starbucks with your face glued to your laptop, chances are he doesn't want to disturb you. However, if you're just chillin' at the bar or in a club without a care in the world, then he might find it easier to come over and talk to you.
3. He's intimidated. Not because he thinks you're too hot for him and out of his league - although a lot of men don't approach a woman for that reason as well. But sometimes he won't come up to you because you're with a group of women. A man told me once that it's easier to approach a woman when she's by herself or with one other woman than if she's with all 10 of her friends rolling deep in the spot. Now I'm not suggesting that a woman always venture out alone or with just one girlfriend, but if you go to the ladies room...do ALL of you have to go? If one of you goes to get a drink at the bar, do ALL 8 of you have to go too? Women who always travel in huge packs make it hard for a man to step to them because he doesn't want to be sized up by all of your friends. Step away for a sec and make yourself a little more available. If you can't seem to part from your friends, then that signals a bit of insecurity if you ask me. Step out of your comfort zone...your girls ain't going nowhere!
4. You're always with a dude. Sure, we love hangin' with our dirty, gay boyfriend...but if he's not flamboyant and flaming, then a man might not know if he's your man, if he's trying to be your man, is your brother, or your husband. Some women like going out with men more so than women, which is fine. Just make sure that that man isn't giving other men the impression that he's YOUR man. If you look taken, a guy won't step to you unless he's just bold...or a jerk.
5. You're drunk/sloppy/All over everyone. Some women go out and have TOO much fun. If you're drunk and dancing on tables, some men may consider that a turnoff. If you're up in every dude's face hanging all over them, then you look desperate, not "fun." And if you're dressed like a hooker, or your bra straps are showing along with too tight or inappropriate clothes hiked up your vajajay, then you just look sloppy...and in his eyes, just overall unattractive. Dressing like you have a pimp, and acting like less than a lady can make a man run faster than the po'po.
Feel free to add your own reasons why a woman may seem unapproachable to a man. And I'm sure these same reasons can apply to why a woman wouldn't step to a man. Let's hear it!