Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Chris Rock's "Good Hair"

Happy Hump Day!

So, I really have nothing to say this afternoon except WATCH OPRAH today if you're around a tv when she's on. I know, I know...some of you men would rather go to hell wearing gasoline drawers than watch Oprah, but I think hearing about "good" and "bad" hair from a man's perspective might make you change your mind. Emmy Award winning comedian (and now hair expert) Chris Rock is going to appear on Oprah today to promote his new documentary Good Hair.



Now, we all know I've done a couple of blogs already on this very subject, so I'll be glued to the tv today. Women talk about hair and our hair issues almost everyday, so to see the topic broached by a man should be refreshingly interesting. Most men just think we're crazy when it comes to our hair - because we tell them they can't touch it, or how much money we spend on it, or that we can't have sex or work out because we might mess it up.

Personally, I hate spending a lot of money on hair, and I'll never turn down some nooky just because I got my "do did." I mean...never. But for some women, hair is serious business. A $9 billion dollar business at that! Yikes!! That's insane, but it's also very true.

One thing Chris Rock says in the Oprah.com article is that men don't care about a woman's hair. He says, "They say it's for the men, but it's really for the women. Because guys don't care." He continues, "There's no point in the history of the world where men were not sleeping with the women in front of them. We take what we can get."

Now, for most men, that may be true. But trust me when I tell you, I've met men who pick and choose who they date based on the type of hair a woman has. I've dated men who preferred I wear my hair long, and I've dated men who preferred I wear my hair short. I've dated men who told me they like me better in braids, and men who tell me to wear it straightened. They like to run their fingers through it and play with it. They want you to wear it out rather than rock baseball caps. I think men care more than they care to admit, but they'll still have sex with you either way ;-)

I'm curious to know what the men on this blog think about women and hair in general. Do you prefer a woman who wears her hair natural, relaxed, long, short? Or do you honestly not care how a woman wears her hair...so long as she has a fat ass? ;) I joke...kinda...but tell me your thoughts on this fellas.

And ladies, I'm curious to know what is the most amount of money you've spent on your hair. Would you wear a weave if you had the time and resources to rock a fly one a la Tyra Banks? Well, she took her weave out now, so maybe I can't use her as an example anymore, but you know what I'm saying. Would you, or have you, forgone sex in order to make your fresh new style last a little bit longer? Be honest ;-)

I hope you all get a chance to check out Oprah today. I think it'll be fun to take a comedic look at Black hair care. And I think we'll find out through Chris's documentary, hair care is not just a black thang.



No matter what kind of hair you have, be true to yourself and don't let anyone make you feel a certain way because of it. If you like it, I love it! Be happy!

-b

45 comments:

Rameer said...

FIRST, BITCHES!!!

Rameer said...

Now that we have THAT out of the way...

You meet some strange dudes, Brooke-Ra. I tend to agree more with Chris - most dudes could give a crap, as long as it's neat and not filled with dandruff or disgustingness (I know it's not a word)! My only thing when it comes to women's hair for me - be REAL. I don't like fake ANYTHING. If you have any type of weave, I won't go there at all. As for braids...lower chance that I'd go there, but I have gone out with a woman who switched to them for a short time while we were involved. Inevitably, she switched back and I was happy.

I LOVE short hair. I think it's so sexy. But anyone who knows me would probably say that doesn't seem to manifest itself in the women I've messed with - I've gone out with everyone from Pocahontas to old school Zhane'! The hair isn't an issue with me - as long as it's REAL...your OWN hair.

As I've stated in the past - I'm a "role with what The Creator gave you" type of dude.

Not watching "Oprah", though.

Brooke said...

Now see Rameer, you say you don't give a crap so long as it's neat and not filled with disgustingness, but it DOES matter to you, because you won't date a woman who wears a weave. Women can wear a weave and it be nice and neat...but you still won't date her. And I know other men like you who say the same thing. So it DOES matter to some degree.

I know guys who won't date a woman who has a perm or a relaxer. They're your socially conscious, dred loc wearing brothers who want a woman to keep it real - and they prefer their women to rock locs or braids too. I'm not saying it's right or wrong - but again, I do know men who will only date a woman with a certain type of hair.

Midnight said...

I'm with India on this one "I am not my hair"....as long as its clean and not dripping some product all over the place I'm cool. Short, long, weave, natural, permed, whatever works for you. I am not a fan of the bald look though. Its kinda like being with myself and I do that enough already :)

elizabeth017 said...

i can't WAIT to see this!

I have been telling people for YEARS about the harmful effects of relaxers on your scalp...one of my professors back in college showed us an autopsy of a black woman who had been shot in the head. when he peeled her scalp back, there was a greenish film that he attributed to years of relaxers...

but i am a firm believer in choice - that's why i don't PUSH the "go natural" issue on anyone. i am happy to give tips and advice if you ask. i can help you with your creamy crack addiction or if you are happy to be nappy!

Go Chris!

elizabeth017 said...

**more to add** (btw, I've MISSED this board!!)

I know hair is a big issue for a lot of men. One of the reasons that finally gave me the courage to "go natural" was a thanksgiving dinner I went to back in 2003. There was a guy there who was mixed (mom is Puerto Rican and dad is back) who claimed that he loved Spanish women because their hair was so long, soft and silky and that black women’s' hair felt like pubic hair. This was an issue for me so I went ahead and did the BIG CHOP.

Some of you who know me know that I get bored with my hair very easily...the color changes about every 3 months and I have 2 front lace wigs in my collection. I also will rock the braids from time to time and I am even going to get a hair cut next week. I use hair as an accessory - not a crutch. I think that there is nothing wrong with experimenting different styles as long as you are not trying to be someone you aren't or relying on a wig to define your beauty but accept who you are and what God gave you.

Brooke said...

I think Midnight was "over sharing" LOL!!

I feel like whatever's easiest for you to take care of and what makes you feel good, then do whatever you want. Take care of it, keep it clean, and you should be good to go :)

Brooke said...

Liz, we missed you too!

And you're right, there are so many men out there who won't admit it, but have major hair issues themselves. It's no wonder alot of women do things to their hair that they normally wouldn't just to be considered attractive to the opposite sex.

Some men I know will go ape sh*t if their woman cut off her long hair. It's about more than a preference in some cases - but about what some men consider to be "truly" beautiful based on their own ideals.

Rameer said...

No. I don't care about REALNESS. It's not just a hair thing, it's overall. I like REAL women. Not fake boobs, asses, lips - nothing.

If I could find a good number of women who rolled completely natural where I live, I'd probably roll with that. But I understand that's not realistic, and I also understand that many people use products to give their hair a certain shape or style. But it's THEIR HAIR. Fake hair is false advertising to me, plain and simple. And the women in my family, who I think are how women SHOULD be, always rolled with what they had. They were very different from many of today's women - completely secure in who they are and not conforming to what society and/or other people thought.

I don't like ANY fakeness. I don't even like makeup. I think makeup is for TV and entertainers, to give the illusion (again - FALSE ADVERTISEMENT) of a look. I get it. But fakeness is not for me, and that includes hair.

I think the very point of Chris' movie is how f'd up the mentality is of women - BLACK WOMEN - when it comes to hair. I had this discussion on a blog the other day (Witches Brew) about women of color unknowingly subscribing to a mindset of making their hair like their European counterparts because THAT'S what's been hammered in as "beautiful". To be honest - I wouldn't care is Black women rocked caesars. They're beautiful without all that fake crap.

My 75 cents.

Rameer said...

I meant I DO care about REALNESS...typo!

Brooke said...

Well, I think the weave thing is crossing over to the other side as well, cuz there are white women who get "extensions" so that they're considered more "beautiful" as well. It's not just us anymore. I think long hair is considered more desirable, period...so that's why women of all races get weaves now.

Rameer said...

The weave thing never "crossed over" It originated with white women...in Europe, to be exact, and then here in the U.S. it gained steam with white women in Hollywood in the late 70s and 80s. Black women were the segment of the general populace who picked up on it and started utilizing it.

Weaves, extensions and all that crap has been a part of Europe for literally centuries.

I know a lot about this subject being the militant mind that I am at times. And as far as long hair goes - that hasn't always been desirable in most cultures. That has been desirable in some cultures that have people with those characteristics...Europe being the particular one I'm alluding to here. Historically speaking, since Europeans have always been hell-bent on getting their views out as truth in this world, some think that long hair has always been a desire - it hasn't. But the issue of hair, Eurocentricity and brainwashing is so deep and so long, I would have to have two hours and a college auditorium to properly break this down.

I'll just say this. Going over some old Malcolm X speeches and texts would properly address this - or even catching up on some of the old Black Panther stuff.

I lament when Black women finally made up in their mind that fake hair is cool in a general sense. Cuz the "it's mine cuz I bought it" mentality is completely wack to me.

However, that's what makes us all individuals, with individual thoughts and actions.

Boogiebabi said...

All I can say about the documentary is MAKE SURE YOU GO AND WATCH IT!!! I saw the screening last year after right before it went into the film circuit. It is funny and educational.

As far as the hair thing . . well .. it is an accessory and it is great to have the flexibility to change as often as your shoes. I have been natural for years now but that was because I was TIRED OF GETTING MY HAIR RELAXED and everything that is associated with it. I wanted something low maintenance but the versatility of where it straight and guess what?? I got exactly that!

If you wear a weave .. so what . . it is YOUR OWN HAIR, DAMN IT!! YOU SURE PAID ENOUGH FOR IT! So I am tired of men saying, that women aren't being real or truthful about it. It is a style .. it isn't any different than putting on a new pair of sneakers, jeans or coat.

The sad part of it, women have been utilizing weaves, wigs, hair extensions for years!! LITERALLY YEARS, like back in our grandmama's time and so has HOLLYWOOD both black and white. It is just recently that white celebrities are starting to capitalize on the market with their own product line. Alright .. I am out!

Anonymous said...

I agree, it's a style. It's not who you are. Yes, there are some women who think having longer hair makes them prettier. But the majority of women out there rock weaves or wigs because they want to look different for a little while, switch it up! There's nothing wrong with that, and I don't think it's false advertising. It's a STYLE, simple as that. I know women who wear their hair naturally and still have self esteem issues when it comes to beauty. How you feel about yourself goes deeper than you hair. If you can afford it, and it makes you happy, then go for it...and damn what anybody else thinks.

DMoe said...

All,
The hangups expressed in a woman's hair are one thing for her, and another for us guys.


While I may have my lil preferences, braids vs. regular, long vs. short, none of these are deal breakers. We just don't care that much. I may have thoughts on what i like more, but those likes won't make me choose one chick over the other.

Better yet, let's touch on the weave thing. Its women who started the talk over exactly "who's" hair someone has in their head. Men don't really give a damn about weave. And in the end, if it adds to some "desirable" points for you in YOUR own head, then people will believe what you believe about yourself.

I see chicks with the "thumb" in the back of their head one day, and the "stripper ponytail" the next as they've added the hair. But, if it adds to what SHE sees in the mirror, that's cool for her. Guys aren't gonna be turned OFF by things like that. Essentially, we'll either be turned ON a little more by the enhancement, or we maintain the same standard of the thought of her being attractive or not.

The same rule applies for "augmented breasts"...LOL. While both of these are spoken generally, it is my belief that most men feel this way on these subjects.

Here's how these two would be spoken in context. Imagine a dude saying...

1. "What? She got fake hair? I can't deal with her!"

2. "What? She got fake D-cup boobs? I can't deal with her!"

In a word: PREPOSTEROUS.

There may be a few out there, but these are pretty much the same dudes who don't watch/enjoy sports. LOL.

I'm DMoe and I approve this message.

Boogiebabi said...

Dmoe - Love it love it!! LOL!!

Brooke - sorry about the typo in my post but I was trying to type as fast as I was thinking while working on a project plan. :)

Rameer said...

DMoe - I love sports. And I actually AM one of those dudes who would say - and has said - I can't/won't deal with a woman with fake hair.

I'm wondering if anyone actually gets the satirical point of the trailer Brooke-Ra posted. I mean, at one point, Chris Rock says "I can't get ANYTHING for my Black hair?"

Many comedians - George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Robin Williams, Dave Chappelle, etc. - use their comedy to make extremely valid, deep points that are made palatable to many because it's told in the form of a joke or with a smile. But people sometimes miss the actual point - which is why Dave Chappelle quit his own show. He was trying to address some serious things with some of his skits, and people *weren't getting it*.

Like I said. I lament the day it became cool for the masses of Black women - hell, all people - to say it's okay for a woman to have fake hair. Cuz it didn't used to be that way...and speaks to an overall bigger problem in my opinion. a MUCH bigger one that Brother Malcolm talked about all the time.

This whole convo makes me think of that line from School Daze:

"I'm a victim, brother. I'm a victim of 400 years of conditioning. THE MAN has programmed my conditioning. Even my CONDITIONING has been *conditioned*...

I always look back on Spike Lee films and think of how little people actually get or truly ingest. Cuz that line was always REAL TALK.

I don't deal with fakeness. If that makes me alone on an island, so be it. Wouldn't be the first time with my viewpoints, won't be the last.

We all have our opinions.

Anonymous said...

I can't stand hypocrites.

Mark.Chernesky said...

Rameer,

You make a good point on the last one about the satirical aspects of the commentary. I agree with that, and Chris Rock is a modern master of making us laugh about serious things, while forcing us to ponder the buffoonery in the situation.

However, let me ask this: Who on this blog's grandma never wore a wig?

LOL. My grandmothers (both sides) wore wigs like kids wear Jordans. Then again, so did our mothers and aunts. In past generations, it was just the thing to do.

With that said, that's certainly a thing that's based on the style, condition, or whatever the hell else Grandma Sara (r.i.p) felt like rockin...I got tons of pictures of my grandma and she got a few different looks going on in a few of them. Is a weave not a modern-day take on that? Is a girdle not an old-school way of adding the curves that the knife can provide via plastic surgery?

This goes deeper. Form-shaping bras and all that too?

Also, I understand/respect all the opinions, I was kinda speaking generally. The watching sports thing was for color to illustrate that as an anomoly.

However, that also begs another question:

If you perused your personal list of ladies from your past, how many actually did not wear makeup, did not have any work done, or never had some hair in their hair?

This is not to disprove a theory or view, its just to get an overview of the ladies remaining after these are eliminated from consideration.

Of course they exist, I know thousands of women who don't fit the mold, but the "enhancement" side of females in society is pretty old. Hell, we see the cavewoman with the bone in her hair to fix it "up". lol.

Dmoe

DMoe said...

sorry kids, i'm mark chernesky.

actually he's a coworker and i'm multitasking with his login on another project.

Sorry for the confusion.

DMoe

Rameer said...

Lol...people may grown at this, but truth is truth -

Both of my grandmothers are still alive. Neither of them wear wigs. In fact, all of older women in my family wear their natural hair. I can think of ONE WOMAN in the entire family who wore a wig - my great aunt who passed. But even my great-grandmothers (I was fortunate enough to know them) didn't wear wigs. Well, one did on rare occasions.

And, if I look back at ALL the women I've messed with, I can name one in my entire life who wore braids for a short time. None of the rest had any fake hair. not a single one. It's a dealbreaker for me. As far as make-up goes, women I deal with usually wear lip gloss, and that's about it. Other make-ups that I've seen women wear that I deal with that I didn't think were overdoing it was eye shadow and lipstick. But both of those are occasional as well...I wouldn't mess with someone who wears any of that stuff on the norm.

The women in my family also never wore girdles. I remember asking what one was as a kid after seeing it in a friends house...and literally asking my grandmother why she didn't have one. Her response? "I'm happy with how I am...and your grandfather is, too."

And work done?? Oh, that's a BIG no-no. Work done is just to look at in entertainment, not for me personally. Even the strippers I was cool with were natural.

Maybe that's just me. But again, it's also the mindset in my family and amongst the cats I'm closest to. They aren't as vocal about it, but they are of similar train of thought...maybe not as extreme as me. And I don't even think my thought process is weird - cuz when I was in college, as many women as I knew, I can only think of ONE who had weave - and no one had a good opinion about her.

My how times change. Admittedly, no one had a problem with braids in college...but again, not a lot of women *had* them, either.

The hair thing is so systematic of something much bigger. But I guess I'm shaped by the family I was raised in...and we never got down with the "false advertising", as I call it.

Rameer said...

And I meant GROAN, not grown! Typos! Arrrrrgggghhhh!

The Cable Guy said...

If I can't run my fingers thru it, then I probably won't like it too much, but like Dmoe said, it's not a deal breaker.

I look at women's hair like I look at their clothes - it's part of their style. My grandmothers had wigs, girdles, stockings, makeup, all that - and all were beautiful. They were proud black women who didn't have any issues - they just wanted to look good on Sunday for church!

If it makes a woman feel good about herself to wear make up or a push up bra or a wig or a weave, then please do. That way if you think you fine, I'll think your fien too. Better than dealing with the alternative.

Everyone has their preferences and we should all respect them. Just like women try to look good for us (or themselves) we do the same thing. We adorn ourselves, and just beause some can do it without make up doesn't make them more real than the next chick. I've met plenty of "natural" fake women. Fake comes from the inside, not just the outside.

annamaria said...

I aint gonna front I'm glad I got my mama's good hair! And while I was pregnant all I said was that I hope Sophia had my hair! And she looks exactly like her father with my hair so I got my wish. It wasn't even cause I like the way it looks its more cause I wouldn't know how to do her hair if she didn't have my hair. Lol and Austin can't front he loves my hair.

Rameer said...

@ Captain Cable...

And that's why I deal with the real ones inside and out. And I don't try to look good for women or anyone else for that matter. I have to be *forced* to put on slacks or anything I consider stuffy (a friend calls it my "Russell Simmons attitude" - lolz). If people like the way I look, great. If they don't...such is life. But, in comparison, no woman is ever going to be surprised with any part of my physical not being as it appears outwardly.

Everybody does them. But as I keep alluding to, the issue is deeper - and, no offense, I suspect most don't get what I mean.

So I encourage most to go re-watch School Daze, go listen to some of Brother's Malcolm's speeches, read some Black Panther texts, and by all means - go see Chris Rock's film. And try to GET what he's saying through the laughter he's inducing.

But as I say - we're all entitled to our opinions and preferences.

Good convo.

Stef said...

I can't stand the term "good" hair. I think Brooke wrote a blog where she said "good" hair was hair that was strong and healthy. "Bad" hair was hair that was not taken care of. And I agree. Saying you're glad you got your mom's "good" hair is exactly the stigma that has women perming and straightening their hair now. It's nonsense like that that makes our little girls with kinky hair feel that they're less pretty because someone "doesn't know what to do with it."

It's sad really, and I understand some of these deeper issues Rameer may be alluding to, but not all women who wear a weave or braids are the women who are suffering from said issues. Only we know what our true issues are, so don't let anyone tell you what your issues are - simply because they THINK they know you better than you know yourself. It's usually these same people quoting Malcom that think the Euro standard is beautiful, but won't admit it.

Brooke said...

I think Chris Rock says that in the article and the film, that his daughter asked him why she didn't have "good" hair. I used to hate hearing that growing up, and it's surprising how many women still use the term "good" and "bad" hair when referring to texture.

It's sad that little girls think that way about themselves - that they may not be pretty because of their hair. It's heartbreaking actually. We have to make it our mission to make sure ALL of our little girls feel beautiful, inside and out.

Ok, Oprah's on!

THATgirl said...

I love my weave. I don't get hair from the beauty supply store, I get it from vendors overseas, or from their middleman in America. I buy my hair by the ounce. I own eight lace wigs of different colors, lengths and textures, the most expensive one costing me a little more than $300.

I wore braids from the ages of 11-16, and then I got my first weave. With the exception of a short haircut in my first year of college, I've been wearing extensions of some sort ever since. Unless I tell people, they usually don't know its not mine-this is how they have always seen me.

I do feel like my extensions are a part of me. This has no bearing at all on the person that I am, my morals, belief system, or anything like that. I just happen to like what I like. Just like a man may opt to dred his hair or wear it even--I choose to wear mine 18 inches or longer.

Ironically enough, I've had short hair for the past month or so (and yes, its still a weave), but it's just easier for me to maintain and switch up than the hair that grows from my scalp. But I'm buggin--I don't have to explain myself to anyone lol--its just me.

annamaria said...

If a grown ass woman is offended because I'm happy I have "good hair" then your issue is not with me its with you. There are many things I don't have like big boobs or height but I'm ok with that because I'm happy with me & think I'm beautiful just the way I am. I don't think I'm better or prettier than anyone with "kinky" hair. As a matter of fact I think women that leave their hair natural & don't bother with weaves,etc are beautiful. I was just stating a fact about how I feel. My preference!

annamaria said...

PS I'd be a BAD bitch with my dad's kinky ass hair too!!! :)

Stef said...

Calling hair "good hair" is not a preference. It's a misguided use of the word. What makes your hair "good" hair?...the kind you inherit from your mother?

I'm sure when you said "good hair" you meant straight, or manageable, not "healthy." I was far from offended, and I don't have an issue with you or myself for that matter, so not sure where all of this "if a grown ass woman" stuff is coming from. All I'm doing is stating that what women and men deem as "good" hair has been part of the issue that Rameer is talking about. I'm happy that you think you're beautiful, because I'm sure you are, and no one said that you thought you were prettier than anyone else. I'm just saying that terms like "good" hair are misused - especially in black and latino cultures/communities.

annamaria said...

Actually my hair is not straight. My hair is EXTREMELY curly. When I want to straighten it I blow dry it straight.

Rameer said...

Wow...just got back...I see the convo has been continuing! Good stuff.

The only thing I'll add is in reference to Stef's "people quoting Malcolm" comment...I think women of all colors can be beautiful. But, me personally - I don't subscribe to a European standard of beauty as being most desirable. Actually, I know and interact with a lot of different white women in my profession, and those ones who don't know me that well are typically offended and/or shocked when I tell them "no matter how physically attractive a white woman is, she'll never be as attractive as as a beautiful woman of color...especially a BLACK one."

I've heard the "pro-Black dude really loves white women" joke for years. Hell, I even play into it by getting along with and being so cool with many of them. But nah. Give me Salma, Sanaa or Angela (Bassett) over Megan Fox any day.

And none of them if their hair ain't real. ;-)

Carry on...lolz.

Brooke said...

Thatgirl, I hear you on your hair being a part of you. I think alot of women view their hair as an accessory, not as a definition of who they are. I love that black women look so varied in our appearance - from our hair, to our clothes, our shoes, our jewelry. We are truly unique - and others are constantly trying to mimick us. Bo Derek was so "beautiful" when she wore corn rows...yet no one said she was trying to be black. It was simply a style.

But if MJB dyes her hair blonde, she's trying to be white. Why can't it be that she just likes her hair to be blonde today? She could die it purple tomorrow, and no one would say boo about it. We have to stop assuming that EVERY action is about trying to be something other than who we truly are. As Thatgirl said, how she wears her hair is who she is as far as style - but her morals, her spirt, her heart - THOSE are the things we should judge her by - not her hair.

Brooke said...

and of course I meant "dye" - not "die." :)

Good conversation today - and the Oprah episode was funny and informative. Great show!

Rameer said...

That's the problem, Brooke-Ra. See, most of you people in defense of fake hair think that anyone making points akin to mine think you really hate yourselves or have this deep insecurity. And it isn't that simple. It's a subconscious thing - meaning you'll never pick up on it without deep analysis and perception. I'd argue MOST women of color who do this are secure with themselves in terms of that.

But it's the overall fact that MJB looks at making her hair blonde - something that the vast majority of Black women on this Earth can not have occur in Nature's Way - that's the problem. What is wrong with what Nature naturally gives us? And why do so many of the things we do have to go in-line with Eurocentricity? Long, stringy hair. Light skin. Blonde hair. blue contacts.

These things naturally occur with some humans. And the things that naturally occur with US aren't viewed on a large scale as beautiful unless somehow co-opted into white culture. Big butts are cool cuz Kim K has one. Big lips are cool on white women, not Black ones.

The origins of the very things you guys think are "just choices" are so deep and twisted I don't think you can see it without wanting to see it or explore it's origins. Why do you think this way? When did this train of thought originate? It certainly didn't begin outside of Europe. How did this mindset become worldwide?

And for the record - many people *did* think Bo Derek lifted that from Black women. But it was considered original and beautiful because SHE was wearing it - things are always cool when THEY do US. No one would ever accuse her of trying to be Black...

Cuz who wants to be THAT?? That's not pretty...unless you co-opt/wrap it up in Black packaging.

Brooke said...

I'm in defense of people having the choice to do what makes them feel happy. I'm sure you know far better than we do what what since you're so deep and we just don't wanna see what the almighty Rameer sees, but I don't think we should condemn folks for how they wear their hair or other choices they make - whether you view them as informed choices or not.

I like that we don't all look alike, and that we all can be beautiful no matter how we wear our hair. Our hair isn't an indication of our hearts and if we're a good person or not. Every black woman could suddenly decide to go natural tomorrow, and that STILL may not change how she feels about herself or how she treats others.

Rameer said...

I'm not saying that going natural or having fake hair makes you a good or bad person internally. And THAT'S why I said I don't think most of y'all get what I mean. People keep equating what I'm saying to whether women consciously dislike themselves or have low self-esteem, or whether they're good or not.

I'm not even talking about that.

And I've incessantly said everyone has their own opinions and thoughts - so the "almighty Rameer" comment lets me know to end my comments for the day. I didn't condemn anyone...I said *I* don't mess with these women. Period. I didn't say that made them bad people, or less than worthy. I never even said it made them fake on the inside. I said it was false advertising - which to me, it is. If you tell me a car can go 120 miles mph and it gets 35 miles to the gallon, plus comes with all the bells and whistles - I'm going to be upset if I come to pick up the car and it's not as I was told. Same with women I date - I don't want to wake up next to any woman watching her add her hair, face and boobs to go out for the day. Nor do I want to see a different person than I met. Obviously most guys on this blog don't mind it - I do. That's my prerogative.

I know plenty of women with fake hair and other things. I just won't date them. That's my preference. We get along fine. I'm good friends with some. That's reality. Y'all seem to have jumped to some conclusions from my comments - and I'm pretty direct.

The issue is a deeper one than I surmise most have ever even considered judging by the majority of responses.

Like I said - go see the movie. I just hope y'all actually get the point and the message isn't lost in a sea of laughter.

But I'm not optimistic that most will. Recent history dictates it won't be properly ingested or incorporated into viewers' mindsets.

Sneferu said...

We're all polarized by the values and images of the cultures/societies that magnetize/grooms us! The world is literally "dominated" by Europeans and their descendants --the key issue here--, thus the desire of their characteristics, trends and fads. They've been the most intolerable of variations away from what they're comfortable with; so they only promote themselves and standards --in all aspects of life!

So, the most a person these days can say it that, the are of a certain conditioning/permeability/metal. Our behinds have, will and continue to be magnetized! The longer your metal has been subject to that magnetic field, the more aligned you'll be to the inductor's/indoctrinator's standards --this applies to all aspects of your living. Don't talk about being unique accessorizing, or "doing you" in another people's power field/culture/system. Those are all degrees of polarizing! Show me your field of magnetism --controlled culture--, then we'll have something else to say...man and woman alike are at the mercy of the power structure! That hair & beauty joint . . .masa got you pumping that creamy crack, and full-time halloween masks, like it's your breadth of life --playing the trick and treat! Prove otherwise!

Brooke said...

Well then rather than tell us that we'll miss the point...tell us what the point is. If you think we'll miss the issue, or dont' get a deeper meaning either because we don't want to or can't figure it out on our own, then TELL US.

The almighty Rameer comment was said in jest, sorry it didn't come across that way. And I never said YOU personally condemned anyone. I was speaking in general terms.

To say that we'll all miss the point without telling us what the point is doesn't make sense to me. I think you can sum it up in the same amount of space you usually use, so enlighten us. I'm not saying that facetiously, I really mean it. What good is telling us how unenlightened we are without enlightening us?

Rameer said...

Brooke - maybe that's just me. Because I deal with young adults and kids so much, I've tended to stress that people should look up things and learn on their own. I find people believe things better when they see it for themselves, not cuz someone told them. Cuz if one was skeptical or disbelieving in the first place, no amount of presentation, facts or opinion is truly going to change that person's mindset.

That's why I gave the examples for people to look up and read. And, as much as I've typed, it would be way too long for me to explain it all. You have to go back so many centuries, reference so many things, break down so much...it's just not that simple.

Even conversing about the subject - a co-worker and I talked about today's blog - took a half hour to break down what we both already know. Writing it? Man...people on here already don't like to read my lengthy posts.

One day, you and I can talk about it. But I still doubt that will help...you have to see and learn the truth for one's self.

Sneferu speaks truth. I'll say that much.

Rameer said...

And the reason I say I don't think many may get it - though I hope I'm wrong - cuz I look at things like "The Boondocks", "Chappelle's Show", many of Spike Lee's films, etc. - I tend to see the messages clearly, and admire some of our entertainers and celebs for putting the truth out there. But the vast majority of people seem to never get this truth, or incorporate it. Nor does it spur them to look into the issues brought up.

"The Boondocks" is really funny. But certain episodes are really kicking knowledge. Same with "Chappelle's Show". Hell - I was screaming about the very theme of Bamboozled since I was in grammar school! I actually resented it a bit when it came out and people were like "wow...never thought about that." I was like "HELL-O?? I've been saying that for years, and none of y'all would LISTEN."

I just hope people see the movie and listen to the message in the comedy. I can already see it just from the trailer.

Brooke said...

I think alot of messages are coming across clearly in the trailer, and I definitely plan on seeing it next week. We can discuss privately afterwards if you want.

Good discussion today - thanks to everyone who commented!

Aron Ranen said...

Please take a moment to check out my documentary film BLACK HAIR

It is free at youtube. 6 parts including an update from London, England.

It explores the Korean Take-over of the Black Beauty Supply and Hair biz..

The current situation makes it hard to believe that Madame C.J. Walker once ran the whole thing.

I am not a hater, I am a motivator.

Plus I am a White guy who stumbled upon this, and felt it was so wrong I had to make a film about it.

self-funded film, made from the heart.

Can it be taken back?

Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p96aaTSdrAE

Brooke said...

Thanks for the info Aron!

Related Posts with Thumbnails