Friday, September 25, 2009

I'm Too Sexy for My Shirt

TGIF!!!!

First things first! Happy Birthday to our very own Monica aka Momo925! Woo-hoo!

I was trying to think of some questions for my usual Friday Sexy Survey, when a friend of mine asked me to pose a question to the blog family. The question?

What do you think of women who dress TOO SEXY?

Hmmm....good one.

My friend is a woman, and says she's tired of seeing women with their breasts spilling out of their blouses and dresses hiked up their ass. She feels that women who do that do so because they feel that is the only way they can get attention. She feels they are objectifying themselves to men, yet seem to get annoyed or offended if the very attention they seek isn't "favorable" or is considered obscene or obnoxious. So...let's talk about it.

Personally, I feel there is a difference between accentuating the positive and leaving NOTHING to the imagination. And I also think there is a time and place for everything. How you dress when you go to the club should not be the same way you dress when you're going to work...unless you work at the club ;)

I won't tell women how to dress. Deep V cleavage can be done tastefully, and wearing a mini skirt doesn't have to mean you look like a slut. There are those who can flaunt a sexy leg with a flirty skirt, and then there are those who wrap a tube top around their ass. There are those who leave a button undone to show a hint of "boobage," and then there those who are Triple H's wearing a C cup bra and a baby tee. Spilling boobies out into someone's face may be a bit much - but hey, if you find that THAT'S how YOU feel sexy...rock on. Just don't get mad at the guy when he can't tell you what color your eyes are.

Dressing "sexy" can bring about unwanted attention and responses from the opposite sex. A man should never feel that he can touch, fondle or molest a woman simply because she "appears" to invite that kind of attention. I won't go so far as to say that a woman brings that attention on herself, but I think women should be aware of the type of attention they receive when they dress a certain way. That goes for any setting, whether it's at a bar or a boardroom.

If you're at a bar, you may WANT to dress a certain way in order to get a guy's attention. Just make sure it's the attention you WANT. I know a few women who make SURE the girls are perky every time we go out, and they put them front and center. Yet, they wonder why the cutie that asked for their number is always trying to come over and "lay up" with them, or wants to sleep with them right away. Some men assume that if you put sex out there, that's what you want...whether that's true or not. I'm not saying it's right...I'm just saying it happens.

And if you're at work, excessive cleavage is probably...almost NEVER...a good thing. It doesn't matter which position a woman holds - whether she's a VP or an administrative assistant - dressing sexy at the job is usually considered inappropriate across the board. Studies show women holding high-powered jobs, especially, were perceived as less intelligent and less competent when they dressed provocatively, while those in lower level positions (such as assistants) were not. Studies also suggest that women who wore risqué clothing to work were perceived as using their sexuality to advance professionally. Again, not saying it's right...it just is what it is sometimes.

How a person dresses is a personal thing. Our reasons for what we wear may be varied, but they usually speak directly to the type of person we are. Our clothes can indicate that we're conservative, professional, a hippie, chic, rich, poor, laid back, eccentric, bold or reserved. Some could argue that what we show on the outside doesn't always reflect who we are on the inside, and none of us should judge a book by its cover. However, if your cover gets you groped (and you don't want to be groped) or it gets you fired, you may want to take a second look in the mirror before you leave the house. Jus sayin...

Have a great weekend!

-b

8 comments:

Rameer said...

FIRST BITCHES!!!

momo925 said...

damn it Rameer! lol Anna Maria get to tazing!

Rameer said...

Momo! Why you selling me out?

And I was gonna wish you an *extra special* Happy birthday! Hmph! Now you'll just have to settle for a standard "I hope you have a good birthday"!

annamaria said...

Play nice kids.
Momo Happy Birthday.
Brooke great blog.

Rameer said...

Hmm...I think you are correct when you say you can be tasteful showing off cleavage or wearing a mini-skirt. I work in a place where I see women dress tastefully but still be sexy, and where sometimes you can say a woman may look a bit slutty or desperate. However, here's the reality - some of the women who play the sex up DO get preferential treatment and/or advance.

It's usually the women who have the really bad opinions about this. But even the men who do harbor similar opinions tend to be hypocrites...cuz Skanky Sally will bat her eyelashes and talk sing-songy and they will be at her beck and call. ESPECIALLY white men over 30 - regardless if they have mates or not.

I used to work with a girl who was tall, blonde and showed off her assets at times. A LOT of women complained, and I would hear men say things. But she had the world catered to her! And she advanced at such a rate, the women at my job seemingly ALL hated her. Yet she never fraternized with most people outside of work, and it was well-known she had a fiance. Didn't matter - she got ahead cuz these men would have blood rush to their little heads when she walked by.

Even now - she has a new job where she's THE woman...all cuz white men think she looks good. Don't get it twisted - she can do her job well. But not moreso than other women at the same position. The only difference is - men thinks she's hot.

Her and I got along cuz I told her I never got what the hell people saw. I think her thing was to try and make me respond to her...but I never did. She had that look that white dudes like, not most Black/Latino dudes. So she was always like "you're cool...you don't look at me like a piece of meat".

I guess this issue is really a slippery slope. I'd be really interested to see what the women on the blog have to say...

Rameer said...

But *AnnaMaria*...she *started*...

***picks up ball, walks off court in a huff**

momo925 said...

He started it! lol You could have let me have a "I'm first" pass for my birthday. Fine! **crosses armes in front of chest**

Thank you guys for the bday wishes! It will definitely be an interesting weekend.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being sexy as long as it's done tastefully. Some people exude sexiness even when they are not trying, which actually makes them more sexy. If this happens to be in the workplace so be it. There is a huge difference between being sexy and being trashy. To me, that is tacky whether it's in the workplace or in a club.

The Cable Guy said...

I don't get it when women have all their breasts and ass showing and then scream on you when you look. It's like "cover up then!" They know men are visual beings, we look. That's what we do. If you don't want someone to look at your breasts vs. your eyes, then cover them up. It's one thing to have big breasts, but it's another to have them showing and hanging out of your shirt. If you want to be treated respectfully, then respect yourself first.

Like Momo said, sexy isn't being sloppy or trashy. I've found women attractive who are covered up completely. It's how you carry yourself. Nothing wrong with showing off what ya momma gave ya, but there's a classy way to do it.

As for how women dress at work, same thing. It's kinda hard to be taken seriously when you show up at work looking like you just came off the corner. The men you work for may promote you and give you what you want, but is that how you really want it? If so, that means you don't think you have the smarts and drive to get it any other way.

Good topic B.

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