Monday, April 13, 2009

Happy Monday!

I'm so tired today. I always seem to come back to work more tired after a long weekend, a long weekend that goes by way too fast.

I spent the weekend with family - part of it in NY, the other half in Philly. Yesterday during a lazy afternoon, my mother, sister and I watched the movie Sex in the City. This is a movie I can watch over and over again. It's funny, flirty, sexy and certain scenes always make me cry. Yes...I said cry. It's a bit blurry, but here is one part where I cry everytime.



To some the series and the movie may have been about a group of fabulously dressed, rich-for-no-reason white women running around New York City. But this movie was also about friendship. Even though Carrie FINALLY got Big, and Miranda and Charlotte found their happily-ever-afters, and Samantha...well, is Samantha - their true soulmates weren't found in their men. They were found in each other.

I know alot of women who ask, "when will I find my soulmate?" I say most of the women have found them already, but just don't realize it. A soulmate isn't just some lofty notion of a romantic partner. A soulmate can be a sibling, a friend, a parent - anyone. The true, innermost spiritual meaning of what people call a "soulmate" is the one eternal partner made and given by God. However, people fail to recognize their soulmate(s) because they think God will only send them ONE. Or because they feel that soulmates are eternal.

Soulmates are a universal flow of untapped energy that we can relate to as love at any given moment in any given form. Many of us don't understand the meaning of this. It's the same thing we keep avoiding all our lives when we don't invest ourselves fully in our relationships. On an unconscious level, soulmates tap into that energy of unconditional love. It doesn't have to be a romantic love, or a physical connection. It's easy to not see your soulmate when you're only looking through a narrow scope.

I have several soulmates - probably the most important being my sister. She is my mirror image...yet we are totally different. When I say my mirror image, I don't mean physically - but spiritually, emotionally and mentally. She understands me the most, loves me the hardest, and lifts me the highest. And I do the same for her. We sustain our relationship at its fullest potential. She came into my life as my sibling, a special bond between sisters that some may see as common...others rare. It was written in the stars for us to be bonded as sisters...and I feel lucky that she is in this world with me.

I also have friends who came into my life on their own accord, and I into theirs. I love them like sisters. They're there when you need them. They offer guidance, gentle advice, a comforting ear. They bring you peace when you need it, and answer your call at 4am when you need someone to talk to. Soulmates of this sort can come into our lives in fast, weird or unexpected ways. The situations and events in the universe accommodate the arrival and the union of two souls that compliment each other. These types of soulmates show unconditional love towards each other which can sometimes be difficult to comprehend, but feels destined nonetheless.

There are some soulmates who come into your life for a season - they don't stay in our lives for a great length of time. You might come across a soulmate of this kind when you are just wandering along the street, or in the bookstore, some random gathering, online, wherever. Someone may come along simply to provide you with a small message that will give you the answer to a 'question' you may have at any given time in your life. These soulmates are placed on our path out of the blue only to never see their face again. And then we move on, feeling blessed at having had them in our life at that necessary moment. Their role is to provide us with what we need at that time to push us forward and keep us moving.

So...my answers to, "will I ever meet my soulmate?" First - take a look around. They exist everywhere. How much real attention do we pay to the people around us? We have such a romantic idea of what a soulmate is that it leads us to disregard the people in our lives who provide us with help, who listen to us and are there for us in our time of need everyday. We may have several soulmates and not even see them.

Second - have you ever questioned if you are a good example of a soulmate for someone else? In reality, the importance is not in searching to find the right partner for you, but in whether you yourself are willing to be the 'right' partner for someone else. It goes both ways, and maybe God will present you with a soulmate when you've done the work on yourself needed to be a soulmate to someone else.

In the end, we all can be the 'right' soulmate for anyone we choose in our life, but only when we're ready to treat our partner as we want to be treated, to respect our differences, embrace our commonalities, accept the person for who they are and cherish every moment spent with them. Both soulmates have to be ready to embark on their journey together through love and commitment. Soul to soul, love begins in God and has no end.

-b

15 comments:

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

First... Bitches???

I'll tell you what. i know my soul mate ain't no dude!!!!

Brooke said...

LOL!! B! I mean "Pretty Ricky!"

Maybe I'll meet another "soulmate" in DR - I'm going man! Call you soon!

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

OK... now I can say it with some certainty...FIRST BITCHES!!!

Brooke said...

You crazy :)

and you're right...I wonder why the men are the only ones who say "First...BITCHES!" ???

momo925 said...

cool blog Brooke! I've never thought of it that way. Maybe I should open up my eyes to the people around me.

Serena W. said...

Hey Brooke! I'm glad you had a long weekend but it's hard to come back from one.

You made me look at Soulmates differently. I have a few off the back that I know are my soulmates. A couple have gone on and passed away but their impact will always remain close to me.

My Mother, "Iya" which is mother in Swahili. She is my anchor, my foundation, my love. We talk almost every day of the week and can talk about Oprah, to how I'm doing to what her future will hold. We've been through some trying times together, mainly raising me alone then adopting my two sisters Ayana and Christina. Us losing Ayana, my Papa to her struggling with it all. I would die for her. I love her so much. She always said, "No matter what you do in life, as long as it's positive I will support you." She's truly a part of me as I'm a part of her.

My two aces! Venetta (who we call each other Soul Sista when writing letters) and RiShana who went to Cuse with me. They are truly my soul sistas. They've been there for me during the sunshine and at 4am in the morning when I found out my sister Ayana died. Never an argument, disagreement. Sometimes our communication is unspoken and our spirits are connected.

Jamal (one of my best friends) and Ayana my sister. They both passed away. J was murdered in 1995. He was turning 21 and a petty argument turned into murder. Ayana passed away almost 2 years ago. She would've been 26 on 30th.

Their souls are are like nothing I've experienced. Jamal was the only ex-boyfriend that became my best friend (my soul brother) when he died I fell apart. I remember that night in my Winding Ridge apartment on South Campus when I heard the news. We were so connected.

Ayana even with all her medical conditions to the point where she couldn't walk or talk was a part of me. She would sense when I was in the room, turn her head and smile. Her eyes and smile lit up my life. When she died I told people I felt like a part of me went with her. But my spirit has been restored and healed. She doesn't want me to walk this earth feeling like a piece of me already died.

My sis Shavonn and I just met 9 years ago (Poppa was a rolling stone). But weeks can go by and we are so in tune we haven't missed a beat. When I had a dream about her health not doing well and she went to the doctor to discover a lesion on her brain I knew then that we are bonded by sisterhood through our Dad and so connected that we each know when we are having good days or bad days by the vibe we feel that day. I love the heck out of that girl (God blessed me with her although we went 25 years not knowing each other). She's such a rock to me that she has no idea how much I look up to her and she is 6 years my junior.

Sorry for the long post...hopefully someone can be inspired by this blog. Brooke thanks for opening my eyes to my "soulmates." God already blessed me with them. There's not just one. Peace.

Brooke said...

Wow Serena! You are so blessed to have all of these soulmates in your life! A lot of times we don't look at siblings, or family members or even our exes as soulmates...because we're so focused on a "spouse" instead.

Soulmates come from all over, from the places you least expect. Your sister Shavonn is an example of that. I think we all have soulmates, we just need to identify them as such.

Serena W. said...

Yes we do Brooke!!!! I'm so sad I'll miss meeting you on Memorial Day weekend, but y'all have fun at Pretty Ricky's bday bash!!!!

zoedollie said...

Hi Brooke,
Totally agree with you on the Sex and the City movie. I only seen maybe 5 episodes of the series, so I was not a true fan. However, the movie was totally about bonding with true girlfriends. I so enjoyed it. One of my favorite scenes was when Samantha fed Carrie, when they were in Mexico. That was so beautiful. It made me almost cry. I did cry by the end of the flick.

Soulmates, I often wonder about those...You made some really interesting points. I do believe I have had a couple. We do have to broaden our vision of what a soulmate it. It's wonderful when you find one or two or more. It's beyond understanding sometimes.

Anyhoo, enjoyed reading your thought(s) for today. Have a fantastic week!!!!!!!!!
d.

Brooke said...

Zoedollie! I was trying to find the clip where Samantha fed Carrie, cuz I was crying like a baby during that scene. THAT is what a true friend is. They all each had such touching moments in that movie. I was never a diehard fan of the series either, but the film was great!

Serena, I'm sorry I'll miss you too! "Pretty Ricky" had his bday bash back in Feb, this is his "act a fool" Memorial Bash :-) He's also having a game night this Friday. He's already taunting me saying the men are gonna "wipe the floor" with the ladies at Taboo. Dem's fightin' words!

Serena W. said...

Oh hell no! He better be lucky I can't make it this year cause brothers would be getting wiped, spanked and everything else in Taboo!

I never saw Sex in the City movie, I keep hearing its a must buy!

Brooke said...

I think you'd like it. You don't have to be a fan of the series to appreciate the movie.

Malek said...

Brooke,
Great Post....hopefully I'm back...PTA will be kickin my bitt til this fund-raiser is over...anywho /i am with everyone else I never thought about soul mates in that manner....but having put it in my mind now I too can think of some family and friends who have been my soul mate....First of course YOU....You know we always got each others back and what I like most about our sistership is that when we do disagree we MAKE each other get back on track even if we still disagree....we don't hold grudges....LOVE THAT....I also think about soul mates too as people who we might not normally be friends or lovers with....You ever meet someone and think "how did we become best friends?" I look at Theresa that way sometimes....When I first met her she seemed so hard to me not friendly at all..she hated me as a matter of fact for crazy teen age reasons and now look we have been friends for over 19 YEARS...WOW what year was I in 9th grade...I should call her and have a 20 year friendship dinner with her....

I never even thought about me and Fouad in that manner either...When I look back to our courting I decided to marry him cause I thought he will treat me the better than any other man I will probably meet....I knew he was Muslim, from another race, we had the language barrier, so many things that probably would have made the average woman run like hell, yet something told me to stay...I guess it was GOD whispering to me.....Humdulilah I stayed

Serena W. said...

Malek that was so inspiring to me. I like "sistership" and how you saw your husband and despite what could have been "barriers" you embraced it and now you two are so happy together!

Brooke said...

I saw these posts late, but thank you for sharing that Nicole. I have friends who no one is surprised that we are friends, and then others where people are like "how did THOSE two get together?" But it's because we find the commonality in our difference...kindred spirits. That's what soulmates are, and if you're both ready...God will make sure you find each other :)

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