Friday, November 7, 2008
TGIF My Peoples!
So it's Friday and I'm looking forward to doing absolutely NOTHING this weekend. Okay, I MAY go to Ikea with Amanda on Sunday, but we'll see how I feel. Yes, this cold is STILL lingering, but it's definitely on it's way out. I think once I get some really good sleep tonight and tomorrow, I'll be back to normal. Thank you all for your well wishes and remedies for my cold. It has all helped tremendously!
(Besides, I have to be well for when the Eagles WHOOP the Giants on Sunday. Yeah I said it!)
Rene is gonna get on me for that statement, but I'm ready! Speaking of Rene the Harlemite, we were talking on the phone last night for a good while about everything and nothing in particular. Somehow we got on the subject of relationships, so our conversation from last night will be the topic of my blog today. I figured we could take a break from our Obama high for a moment to indulge in some other discussion :-)
So Rene was telling me about this obsessed, stalker chick he was dealing with. He said she was nice, a wonderful person, the sex was great and they're still friends to this day - but she wasn't the one. And I got that, perfectly understood. But she on the other hand, became obsessed. She called all the time to the point where the sex just wasn't worth the trouble. She had fallen hard. Him...not so much :-)
So that got us to talking about the differences between men and women, and sex vs. real love. What is that THING that makes us fall in love as opposed to the chemistry of physical attraction?
Think about the heart-pounding adrenaline rush we feel when we see that hot guy playing basketball at the gym or the cute girl who's the friend of a friend of a friend who always makes serious eye contact with you. It’s that person we keep track of when he or she is in the same room, whose comments and actions we follow like a laser. We want them. We vibe.
But is that the beginning stages of "falling" for that person, or is that lust? What are some ways you can tell the difference between real love and good sex? I'm curious to see everyone's answer to this.
We all know that Love Jones is one of my favorite movies, and I think these scenes in the movie beg my question perfectly - Please watch the first 8 minutes to get a sense of where I'm going with this:
They started off sexual. The first date. And it was goooooood! :-)
This ain't no love thang, we just kickin it.
But somewhere along the way, they managed to fall in love. Is that the exception to rule, or can real love be born from great sex?
It can happen, but real love isn't sex. Sex is created for marriage – a long-lasting commitment between a couple. Outside of marriage, sex can have harsh consequences. Unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt, insecurity, and shame - A STALKER CHICK - can follow. A relationship based on lust can only last as long as the two are physically close and find each other sexually attractive. I'm not preaching against or condemning anyone for engaging in pre-marital sex, I'm just telling it like it is. Sex isn't a bad thing, so long as you don't base a relationship around it.
Real love, on the other hand, is a choice. It's a commitment. Real love sees the other person for who they are, flaws and all, and STILL loves them anyway. Real love wants to serve the other person - it's selfless. Real love makes ALL of your other relationships and friendships grow stronger. Real love is trust and understanding, not jealousy or cruelty. Real love takes time to build and encompasses long-term commitment. Real love survives distance and time.
But most importantly, God is real love. God, as our designer and creator, made us with needs for love. Do you ever wonder why we constantly seek love from others but never feel completely satisfied? It’s because God designed us for an unconditional love, and we, as people, are flawed. People, whether friends, family, or your significant other, will invariably let you down at some point. Only people you really love can hurt you. God wants us to find our need for love and acceptance in Him first. One person cannot meet all our needs, even if he’s funny and smart or she’s pretty and thoughtful or the sex is great.
We were made for God’s love, and God’s love alone can fill that need. Only after experiencing and knowing the unconditional love that God has for us, the love that drove God to send his Son to die for us on earth, can we begin to love others with the same quality of unconditional love. Perhaps finding real love begins with God, and has no end.