Thursday, November 13, 2008
TGIF!
So yesterday as I was perusing through Essence.com, I came across a short article about sex and fuller figured women. The article was called "Overweight Women Have More Sex." Some of you may have come across it - but if not, let me post it for you all to read. Then of course we can discuss :-)
Overweight Women Have More Sex
If you're feeling blah about your body lately and aren't getting busy because of it, we hear you!
But get this: According to new research published in Obstetrics & Gynecology, overweight women are more likely to have sex than those considered to be of "normal weight."
What the...?
When researchers looked at the sexual behavior of more than 7,000 women, they were astonished to discover that overweight women are having more fun in the bedroom - and their findings contradicted widely held stereotypes that overweight and obese women are insecure and not as sexually active as their thinner counterparts.
Scientists don't know why bigger girls are getting more action, but who cares? Ignore your inner critic if you've packed on a few or just had a baby. Just hit the sheets - your sex life will thank you.
Courtesy of momlogic.com/Essence.com
Now, y'all know I'm crazy right? As I read this (Amanda, you know how my mind works), all I could think about was this part of Katt Williams' stand-up:
Now, being a full figured woman myself, I can say that I've never really had a hard time getting attention from men. Some men, especially African American men, have a taste for us "Brick House" women. We're even beginning to be portrayed as sexy and desirable in movies and on television. And that's as it should be, cuz we're some sexy b*tches!
Even though many of us still have body image issues and may not fit the "Hollywood" version of what sexy is, we're making progress - and I think the Essence study proves that we see ourselves as desirable, sensual and sexual beings.
But here's a question...were any of you surprised by that study? Maybe some of my full figured friends out there aren't surprised, but I'm curious if there are any "skinny b*tches" out there who are surprised? (and when I say "skinny b*tch, I mean that in the most loving way possible!) LOL!
Are there any men reading this that are surprised by that? Are you a man that prefers full figured women? Thin women? Or who just love all women in general? What is your preference, if any?
I think a lot of people may have been a little surprised by that statistic, but may not want to admit it. Sometimes I think we may subconsciously subscribe to a stereotype of how sexy is defined by others' standards. If you were surprised by that article, I'd love to hear your reasons why.
Lastly, here's another question - how many of you feel that your friends think your sex life is better or worse than it actually is? For example: if you're married or in a committed relationship, do you feel that your friends think you're getting some on the regular when you're really not? If you're single and date a lot, do you feel that your friends think you're having casual sex, even though you're really laying on the couch watching Ugly Betty with your cat?(...ahem...uh, not that I would know anything about that :-) Men - do you feel your boys think you're knocking the bottoms out of chicks when, in reality, you haven't had none since some had you? :-)
Break it down for me :-)
Have a great weekend!
-b
16 comments:
You're a sexy b*tch!!! LMAO. I take that skinny b*tch comment offensively sooo you might get tased the next time I see you. FOR THE RECORD some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen are bigger SOOO I would think they would be more desireable. :) And although I'm not a size 2 I wouldn't even want to be if I could. Sex is what you make of it. I am in a committed relationship & have sex whenever I want cause I put it out there. A man really isn't going to tell a woman NO..LOL Sooo If married people or people in relationships if you aren't getting it as much as you want THEN TAKE A MINUTE OUT TO PAMPER YOURSELF GET YOURSELF SEXY & THEN DO THE SAME FOR YOUR MATE.It will definitely inspire you to get some! lol..
And Brooke I repeat YOU'RE A SEXY B*TCH!!! LOL
LOL!! Thank You!
And aren't you lucky? Sex whenever you want huh? I bet Austin has to beat you off with a stick!
And don't tase me! You know I love your skinny ass!
Can’t say I’m surprised because I don’t think I’ve ever given it much thought. But I will say that I have seen many heavier set women carry themselves with a lot of confidence and sex appeal and I totally see men being attracted to that. I get it. That’s sexy. Like my cousin and I were watching Roscoe Jenkins and he said Monique could totally get it :-)
And as I told you last night, that is my favorite part of this particular stand up! So I’m glad you posted it :-) LOVE IT! LMAO!
I think if my close friends were to guess how my sex life is doing right now, they'd be pretty accurate ;-)
You are beautiful, intelligent and confident...yeah, I can’t see you having a hard time getting attention from men :-)
Thank you!
But let me not appear to be arrogant, because that doesn't always translate into POSITIVE attention. LOL! There are a lot of men who don't care WHAT the woman looks like. Sex is sex to some of them - fat, skinny, tall, short - whatever. Attention is one thing, but genuine interest can be totally different.
The study didn't surprise me at all .. in fact it made me a little damn mad! WHERE THE HELL WAS THIS DAMN STUDY 5 YEARS AGO!!!!!!!
I have a fiance that loves me for me, even when I was heavier. HOWEVER .. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN HELPFUL IF THIS DAMN ARTICLE, ANTM (America's Next Top Model)AND ALL OF THE OTHER DAMN MAGAZINES & SHOWS TO SHOWCASE THE NEW URBAN CHIC OF THE FULL-FIGURED WOMAN. Not to mention that finally LANE BRYANT, OLD NAVY, GAP, AND ASHLEY STEWART, HAVE CHANGED FROM MAKING EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF CLOTHING WITH GIGANTIC FLOWERED PRINT! NOW WE JUST NEED FOR VOGUE AND THE REST OF DAMN FASHION INDUSTRY TO REALLY START FEATURING REAL WOMEN!! BEAUTIFUL, SEXY, INTELLEGENT IN ALL SIZES!!!
If you feel sexy, then you will be desired more because you will exude confidence and have a positive aura. Why the hectic wouldn't full-figured women would have more sex or have men attracted to them? That is just plain crazy!
Hell even since I lost a ton of weight (which was was for health reasons), I am still sexy now! Just give me a pair of stillettos (the more embellished they are the better. After all it is just jewelry for your feet!) and my favorite jeans. You can't tell me that I am not the SHYT! I think that I was a little more sexier when I was heavier and I may have been a little more flexible too!! Oops was that TMI??
I agree with Anna Marie, if you don't feel it . go pamper yourself and put on a fierce FREAKUM' DRESS and get your party on!! But don't forget to be safe! Ok, I am getting off the soap box now.
Good question...It doesn't surprise me either and I guess it's because I find that your sex drive is so connected to your emotional well being that you can be on either side of the scope, either having too much sex or not enough. Self esteem is a powerful thang! Personally when I was my less voluptuous self (ha!), my sex drive was low for many reasons. But I had to learn to love my self more cause what you see is what you get. Now that there's more for my husband to love and since I've accepted who I am, it's like being 16 again!!
I also feel when you're in love, sex is not the ONLY thing that defines your relationship. But married life especially with children poses some obstacles and affect the time you have with your spouse. It's up to you to make the time, even if it's a quickie in the bathroom. Shoo, sometimes those are the best!!
I hear that!
Self esteem does go a long way, and I think what was encouraging about that article is that is shows more full figured women have positive images of themselves - and therefore men do too. I guess it'll be difficult to find a person who says they WERE surprised, because it would be like admitting that they assumed bigger women had self esteem issues and therefore viewed them differently themselves.
I think what that article did was let some in on the secret that just because a woman isn't a size two, it doesn't mean she doesn't think she's sexier than her smaller counterparts. I do know some women who see big girls with hot guys and say "how did she get him with her big ass?" I know a woman who is "surprised" at the men I've dated. Most of them won't admit it, but they can't understand why bigger women would be having more sex than they are.
I notice us brothers had nothing to say about this blog. I wonder why?
It has definitely become more common place for a thick woman to be en vogue. I can say in African-American and Latino cultures it has always been in. More so now in white/European cultures. In the past women were trying to hide their curves and asses with sweats and other garments, and now you have products like Seven Jeans that a lot of people bought because it made their butt and other parts look good bigger.
Ads have also played key part in that. I recall the Dove Soap Ad that ran a few years ago that had only thick white women in undergarments in it.
That was a big statement for ad.
It is definiltely the way you carry yourself as well and your confidence that can attribute to your sexual attraction.
In regard to you question Brooke. I feel it's an immediate assumption if you are single and you are "talking"/Dating multiple people or you are married,or in a committed relationship that you have a prosperous sex life.
I don't buy into that...I know people that are married and are in relationships that their sex life is horrible...pitiful. Some of the stories I hear I feel horrible about and shocked. (that could be a whole other blog you do)
This just goes into the whole thing with perception in our society.
Yeah, I don't understand married people with a wack sex life. But then again, I've never been married so I don't know :-) I can see if you have kids, cuz they run you ragged and tire you out. And sometimes by the time you wait for them to go to sleep, you're tired yourself. I totally get that.
But childless married people? I hope that doesn't happen to me!
I wonder if there's anyone out there who have people thinking that they're NOT getting any when they're gettin all they can stand! No one has come forth with that angle...hmmmmm ;)
Keefe,
I was hoping more men would chime in, especially the brothas. Are you saying you all have nothing to say cuz it goes without saying that you like thick women? Or does it go without saying because men like all women period?
In some cases sex was a trap for marriage...Give them all they want to get married an then was cut off once they took the vows...Sad.
All I have to say is Bad Boys Move in Silence...
With a lot of things, those who are the most verbal ones, are the ones really not doing anything.
"Bad boys move in silence" huh?
NOTED!
But how do your fake sexual interest the ENTIRE time you'r dating and then cut it off once you get married? I don't know any women like that. All the women I know have very strong sex drives and would NEVER deprive themselves. Insane!!
Well...My 10 cents worth.
I am not surprise of the results found. I really think it's a matter of how you feel(about your looks) and based on that is how you project yourself. Confidence in yourself is what a guy wants in a woman. Opinions and ass holes ~ everyone got one, I don't think you should dewell on what every person says.
Skinny, tall, short, thick, fine hair, coarse hair, light skin~dark skin, big ass or small, big nose or tiny, breast big or small....all the things that I have been asked do I like in a woman. I don't have a perfect size of any of those...I take all the attributes of her and enjoy them all as they are. Because to me, it's the personality that I enjoy. There is nothing worse than being around a person that's ugly on the inside. I met some georgeous woman that have totally turned me off because they have a jacked up spirit.
I say ... be you. If someone doesn't like your size, shape or whatever ~ that's their lost and others gain. Don't waste 1 sec on the thought how to please a stranger's view of you.
Everyone have a great weekend!
Peace
Dre
So true Dre...if you're ugly on the inside, you're ugly on the outside. That's all we should concern ourselves with.
You have a great weekend too!
From my experience, "plus-sized" women have a larger appetite (no pun intended) for sex. Seriously! Often they are also more apt to explore and be open to new things in bed (or on the floor or in the car or in the closet or the dressing room or the bathroom LMAO). We can all sit and theorize on why, but I doubt there's a factual reason.
That's not to say that skinny or smaller women aren't freaks either. It just seems from my modest opinion, the Brickhouses go all in, all the time. Then again, I could've just been lucky:-)
Sex after marriage has got to be the most talked/written about topic. And it all seems to be the same...at some point the sex falls off. And it's up to both parties to make sure they don't wake up to the "same ol crackers".
An even better comedian said it this way...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWmTz8VnRFU&feature=related
That Eddie Murphy clip is hilarious! I can't say I can relate, but I'll take all you married people's word for it! LOL!!
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