Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Happy Hump Day!
This blog was inspired by my sister-friend, Ms. Princess! She's always saying, "What I'ma need you to do..." and "See...what I don’t have time for is..." She always makes me smile, so in honor of her today, this post is about Things I Don't Have Time For - which could also be listed as "Things We're All Too Old For :-)
Things I Don't Have Time For:
1. Selfish people.
2. Grown ass people obsessed with Justin Bieber….even more so if you’ve gone to one of his concerts.
3. People who write cryptic messages to other people via Facebook or Twitter as their status. Keep your issues to yourself.
4. Facebook stalkers.
5. People who make their hairstyle so much a part of their identity that they insist that I go natural too.
6. People who brag about getting high or drunk. It’s not sexy or cute to say you got wasted last night (especially if it’s a workday and you have a job). You should be old enough to know when enough is enough, and sloppy drunkenness is just messy and sad. You’re not in college anymore…and it wasn’t cute then either.
7. Fifty year old frat brothers still strolling at the club. Yeah, I said it!
8. Sitting on people’s lap on the subway when there are seats open. Even when seats are not open, unless it’s a child in your lap, stand your grown ass up.
9. People who act like they are ashamed or don’t masturbate…or who think it’s weird or nasty if other people do it. Grow up…and release yourself!
10. People who act like sex isn’t a big deal. It is. It’s not everything, but it’s important.
11. Not knowing how to cook…anything!
12. People who constantly type/write in text speak. Ur grwn, wat da fck iz da matta wit u? OMG, LOL.
13. People who wear glasses but don’t NEED them. You look stupid.
14. Have full text message conversations. Unless you’re in a meeting, pick up the damn phone and call me. I don’t have time to be typing to your ass all day.
15. Texting someone to ask them on a date or as first contact after getting their number. We’re not 12.
16. Having a subscription to Us Weekly or any other tabloid magazine. Unless you work in the entertainment industry, get all your gossip online like everyone else.
17. People who text or look at their phone every 5 minutes in the movies. You’re an even bigger asshole if you answer a call while in the movies….and are on a date.
18. Grown as women who wear tiaras…and it’s not their bachelorette party.
19. People who still have teddy bears and stuffed animals in their car’s rear window.
20. Women who think sex toys are “nasty” and men who are intimidated by them.
21. People who dress their little girls in nothing but bubble gum pink. Put some blues, greens and purples on that child.
22. People who don’t have a checking or savings account past the age of 25. Who are these people that go to check cashing places anyway?
23. Still talking about your high school boyfriend or girlfriend. It was high school – you didn’t know what love was, so chances are they really ARE NOT the one who got away.
24. People who can never admit when they are wrong or say they’re sorry.
25. People who overuse the word “hater.” Just because I don’t like something/someone, doesn’t mean I’m a “hater.” I just don’t like it.
I’m sure I’ll think of more later, but feel free to list the things you either don’t have time for, or are too old for. However, here are some things you're never too old for and that I always have time for:
1. My mother. My sister. My nephews. My family.
2. A nap.
5. Listening to Charlie Sheen - pure comedy.
6. A good movie.
7. Sex. Did I say that already? ;)
9. A phone call with a great friend.
10. Putting on sunscreen.