This weather blows. That’s all I have to say about that.
Ahem…anyway, on to today’s topic.
So yesterday, my cousin Angela and I were briefly discussing dating and the different scenarios that are becoming options for women today. She said a friend mentioned to her that women may start to share men more, as in “Big Love.” They may begin exploring dating their own sex. And many may start dating men they may not have considered in the past, like ex-convicts….like Phaedra on The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Phaedra, who is an attorney, is married to Apollo – an ex-con…and seems very proud of it. She has a husband, and that’s all that matters. But how many women would say they’d be proud to date an ex-convict? Not many that I know personally, but are we potentially closing ourselves off to love by excluding someone who has spent some time in jail?
Say what you want to say, but most of us care what our family and friends think of our choices when it comes to who we’d like to settle down with. My mother is more concerned with the type of man I’d marry than if I ever have kids – mainly because she thinks I deserve the best and my sister is married to a great guy who has set the bar pretty high. If I told her I was dating a felon, she’d probably look at me like I had three heads.
But our choices are our choices right? As long as we’re happy, then they should be happy for us, yes? Easier said than done. My sister would think I lost my mind if I brought home someone straight from Rikers. And I can’t say that I’d blame her.
But “ex-con” means just that, right? Ex…as in “not a criminal anymore.” After all, no one is above redemption. Making a mistake and paying your dues should mean that you shouldn’t have to keep paying for your mistakes forever, right? Everyone has made mistakes, some just got caught. But that doesn’t mean they haven’t learned from their mistakes and are changed for the better. And not for nothing, I don’t know too many women who would turn down a date with Michael Vick…or 50 Cent for that matter. Now, maybe they weren’t the best examples, since they’re both famous and making money. But does that mean Pookie, Ray Ray and Craig ‘n Nem don’t deserve to get the same love – especially if they’re having a hard time finding a job?
Or would you date an ex-con depending on the crime he/she committed or the amount of time they spent in jail? Rapists, murderers, child molesters…none of them would ever get the time of day from me. If you’re a registered sex offender or were convicted of a violent crime, don’t even think of looking in my direction. But if you slung rock or pulled a Bernie Madoff, is that not so bad? Would you date someone who spent 6 months in jail vs. someone who spent 6 years in jail? After all, doing a bid suggests the crime was serious, and no matter how “rehabilitated” he or she may be, that just doesn’t look good on the dating resume does it?
So what say you? Have you or would you ever date anyone who is an ex-con? Does your answer depend on the crime he/she committed? Is a criminally minded person always a criminally minded person and can’t be trusted? Or do you think everyone deserves a shot at love and a second chance?
Over the years, I've been blessed to have spent time with, befriend, love, learn from and share experiences with people who have helped me grow and inspire me everyday. They have shared words of wisdom, strengthened me with encouragement, gave me joy with a smile, comforted me with a hug, gave clarity to my visions and dreams and renewed my spirit with faith. It is through family and friends that I manage to be happy and hopeful.
These relationships work because we share our philosophies, our personal truths and an outlook that prompts us to seek something greater in all and in ourselves. Sharing a journey heartedly illuminates our lives and enriches our experiences. It keeps us moving....always evolving....ever changing.
I have been transformed by the wisdom, opinions, insights and revelations of those who have shared their journey with me. It's a blessing I long to share with you through my first ever blog. For me, writing is a reflection of my own direct experience and I look forward to all of you sharing your thoughts and experiences with me.
So...with that said....can I just say.....??? :-)