Hillary for President!
8 years ago
Friday, October 15, 2010
TGIF!!
I shared this on my Facebook page yesterday and decided to post here so we could discuss. Take a looksee :-)
This had me cracking up yesterday!
"That nasty thing in your pants."
Ha!
But then I got to thinking...was this accurate? I was wondering if I should be offended as a Black woman. After all, I'm nothing like this chick. I don't want a thug, and I have no problem dating a man under 6'5" - not a deal breaker for me. I thought this was playing into the stereotype of the Black woman with an attitude who can't find a man.
But then I got to thinking some more. Most stereotypes are usually born from some truth. Not completely, but most times. So I started thinking about some of my girlfriends and the things I've heard them say they want in a man.
Their list wasn't too far from what this robotic woman was spewing in that clip. I've heard women say they won't date a man shorter than them. They want a thug who can hold it down in the boardroom as well as the bedroom. They want a man who makes six figures. They want him to be able to "handle" her...yet, let her have her way, while not letting her walk all over him. Huh?
No wonder men are confused.
And I think a lot of women are confused too. What made this clip funny was how many times this virtual woman contradicted herself, and I hear it all the time from real life women everyday. You can't submit to your man while you disrespect him. You can't tell him to be a man if you won't allow him to be one. You can't say you're a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a man, and then complain that good men are hard to find. By her own words...she shouldn't be looking for one at all.
***Still cracking up at "holler if you hear me"***
Do you think this was a fair depiction of how most women are - black or white? Or do you think this portrayal is specific to Black women in general? Do you think it was completely ridiculous?
I'm curious to see what the male robot would say as far as what he wants in a woman. I know some men who have lists too...although maybe not to this extreme. But until someone creates a response to this clip and I find it on YouTube, we can discuss this one for today. Let's hear it!
Go!
-b
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58 comments:
FIRST BITCHES!!!
FIRST BIOTCHES Y BECAUSE I'M A WOMANIST!!! NOW TAKE THAT (smile)
Dayum you BatMan!!!! (smile)
I was hollering @ "That nasty thing in your pants". Okay I have my list but I feel it's not unrealistic also I'm willing to compromise what's on my list.
I hate to say it, but I know ALOT of women who are JUST like that. It's messed up, but true! Makes you wonder if we'll ever be satisfied, or if our standards are too high.
I told a friend of mine before that she wants a perfect man. She said she DESERVES perfection, but the truth is, a perfect PERSON doesn't exist. I think we're having a hard time finding a good man because we don't want him to just be good, he has to be PERFECT.
@Courtney,
Do you think women feel they DESERVE more than they're willing to give? Do we have a false sense of entitlement? There's a fine line there for me, because there's deserving to be happy, and then there's deserving to have a man. Do you think we should expect a relationship, hope or pray for one, or simply lead full lives and be happy on our own so that we simply attract more happiness our way...which may or may not include a relationship?
Does that make sense?
I was DYING laughing at this... That was some funny ish....
There is no perfect man out there BUT that's cause there are no perfect women. Humans are all flawed!
The same way there is no such thing as the perfect relationship..It's even written in your wedding vows...Good times & BAD!
Unfortunately there are a lot of women out there like this "lady" There are also a few men out there like this. And there are women out there that are WORSE than this..
Nothing wrong with having standards but there is such a thing as being unrealistic.
@Courtney no one is PERFECT not including your girlfriend who feels she entitled for perfection when it comes to her mate. I myself knows that whomever he maybe is not going to be PERFECT, how can I expect for someone to be PERFECT if I'm not PERFECT??
I know I'm gonna catch it for this, but I think this describes most black women. I don't hear white women saying these things, unless they say it amongst themselves and I'm just not privy to it. But then again, they don't have the struggles and obstacles we have when it comes to dating - but still...they just live and let live and date. That's what I've been trying to do...act like a white girl when it comes to dating :)
I've found that once I let go of all expectations and just started doing me and EXPECTING a man to just fall into my lap, he did just that. SO, I say all this to say, date like a white girl! LOL!
(okay, getting ready for the black girl backlash!) LOL!
@AnnaMarie, I agree with you 110%. Men have their unrealistic list of qualties that they seek in a woman so basically both men and women mainly black men and women need to re-evaluate their potential mate lists
@Stef, you have a valid point. That is something I've been working on is letting go of all expectations in dating and just go have fun. Okay once I get out of being in the house. I was told by a male friend of mine is to stop having expectations of ppl therefore I'm less likely to be hurt.
LMAO too funny! There is a difference between having preferences and creating impossible standards. This had me cracking up. Good one Brooke!
@Brooke,
Your question makes perfect sense. I see it all the time. Women wanting the man to be a certain height, look a certain way, cater to her a certain way, spend all his money on her, yet SHE's not in shape, SHE doesn't look a certain way, SHE never spends money (on herself OR him) and doesn't cater to HIM a certain way...but expects to get a man to do all of this for HER as if her ass doesn't stink. It kills me!
The problem with some folks with preferences is they let these preferences cloud their judgment. The man can have 90% of what she's looking for, but if he's 5'9, she can't date him. Or "he's too nice" cuz she thinks a man who won't let her walk all over him can't be "nice" too. It's just ridiculous.
@Stef,
I agree, date like a white girl! LOL!
@Stef,
I actually think you make a valid point. Brian and I were discussing this and he said he feels that white women simply know that they will or expect to get married one day, so they don't sweat it, while we lament over it. Now I won't say that all black women worry about it - whether we have a legitimate right to or not - but at the end of the day, the thoughts you have manifest themselves. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. If we focus on our own happiness, and simply expect that we'll be happy and make it so, then it'll manifest itself in all areas of your life. Makes perfect sense to me actually.
I'll be the brave man to comment first :)
Brooke, this clip was HILARIOUS!
but unfortunately, there's ALOT of truth to it.
You hit the nail on the head when you said men get confused. There is no way you can have a "thug" in the boardroom. It simply doesn't make sense. I have to meet a "thug" who made six figures LEGALLY...or who wasn't in the NBA or NFL. It just doesn't happen.
Most men period can't meet this ridiculous standard, just like there is no woman out there with th perfect ass-to-waist ration who is also smart, has Oprah money, can give monster head, cook, clean AND be a great mother who loves sports and knows when to be quiet. That woman doesn't exist. Just like that man doesn't exist.
I think you all are smart women who have it together for the most part, so that clip may seem crazy to you. But trust me, there are more women out there (some white, but mostly black) who have this ridiculous idea that they are entitled to the perfect man while they themselves leave much to be desired.
@Stef and Brooke,
So does the term "Dating like a white girl" means sleeping with every man you come across??
@ArrElle,
um...not to hurt anybody's feelings, but that's a WOMAN thing, not a white or black girl thing. I know PLENTY of black women who sleep with just anybody. TRUST.
woooo! Brooke, I'm glad you said it!
I have a friend who is sleeping with a dude who she KNOWS has a man, he lies to her face, and disrespects her CONSTANTLY...but she's still sleeping with him "because the sex is good."
But she'll be the first woman to say there are no good men out there. WTF??!!
**I meant to say who she knows has a WOMAN*** LOL!
@Brooke I hear ya in regards to black women who sleeps around.
@Stef see the sad thing is that women as such as your girlfriend has become the "voice" for all single black women in regards to stating that she can't find a good black man, yet she don't even have respect for her dayum self. Go figure...
@Brooke my feelings are not hurt, I was just being sarcastic about the stereotype of white girls sleeping around.
BLACK ROBOT MAN: I WANT A WOMAN THAT KNOWS WHEN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP...
Craig, don't make me cut you! LOL!
Ok I'll give the same disclaimer as Stef. I may catch it for this BUT I have a question...
Now it may be because the majority of the commenters on this blog are black BUT when we have these discussions it seems to be that we always blame it on women having these "issues" because they are black. Do you guys think that maybe you're playing into the sterotype or bias by using this as your "reasoning" for this behavior??
IE: Brooke is my BLACK friend. She doesn't act like this BUT it doesn't make me think she's an exception to the BLACK GIRL Rule... I just think Brooke is being Brooke. I don't even think I ever expected to act like "this" because she was black either...
Ok.Here goes from the married lady.....I think there is some truth to it just like there is some truth to reality shows :)
These are all stereotypes and if, as I stated in response to this video on FB, you did the same for black educated men as well....who watch too many videos and want a banging chick with brains who can pole dance, run the PTA, bring home the bacon, buy it at the grocery store and cook it too. COME ON SON!!!!....
We all have unrealistic expectations in general. Its the attitude that someone is actually supposed to meet them that is insane. I want the world but I'll take a few acres with a nice house :) Its being flexible and understanding that you are not perfect and like attracts like :P and finding that fool that will put up with your flaws and you with his.....and still love you. I think MOST women (color -independent ) want that and know that.
@Sarkasim: what's wrong with a banging chick with brains who can pole dance, run the PTA, bring home the bacon, buy it at the grocery store and cook it too?? I'm no Tyra Banks but at some point or another I have NO problem doing each & every thing on this list
@Sarkism - You speak the truth....
@Annamarie....nothing wrong with it but every woman doesnt have that ability just like every man is not 6'4 with a 6 figure job who can be a thug in the bedroom...etc...
My point is we all have high expectations and want it all and we all should be flexible should our prince(ss) be less than what was on our list.
@Annamaria,
I was thinking the same thing. Why is the problem with relationships always the woman's fault?! Like Sarkism and Brooke said, the same video can be made from the woman's point of view and it would be equally funny cuz there would be SOME truth to it. I just find that most women's magazines teach women monthly how to win a man, or keep a man, or do better in their relationships...but men don't have articles directed at them this way every other day. It can't be because men are better at relationships than we are, but it seems to me that women are expected to make the relationships work while men just sit back and reap the benefits. It's a two-way street! Black OR white!
Funny...I believe only one dude aside from MOI that responded....If this was about sex...we would be on 75 comments by now...SMH...Men don't like talking about this shit...
A Craig n 'em - That Black Robot Man comment you made was Hilarious...
LOL@ Craig!
"BLACK ROBOT MAN: I WANT A WOMAN THAT KNOWS WHEN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP..."
LMAO!
Geeque is a dude, so there are now four men commenting today.
ahem...Craig is right. Men are simple. There might be some bitchass men out there with a ridiculous list - but he's not the dude you want anyway. We want sex, food, some head, a game, some head again :) and someone who knows when to take it down a bit. That's all.
@Cable Guy,
Yeah, that's all you want...from like FIVE different women at the same time!
Whatever! LOL!
@Stef,
Well then maybe that's what you women should do, date 5 different dudes at the same time - like a white girl! LMAO!
BLACK MAN ROBOT:
Brothers! Do you need to go to the ear doctor? Are your ears filled with BULLSHIT! Where are all the black woman, who don’t talk too much? I got my degree from BMCC, and my PHD from the Devry. I’m a bible skimmin’, coochie swimmin’, Christian who believe’s in monogamy with more than one woman. I want a woman who is a freak in the bedroom, a freak in the bedroom, a freak in the bedroom a freak in the bedroom a freak in the bedroom a freak in the bedroom a freak in the bedroom....
Sorry, there is a glitch in my system. COOCHIE OVERLOAD…;-/
DEAD @ Craig! LMAO!
I think Craig should be in charge of making the response to that video clip :) LOL!
@Craig: u r a FOOL! Lmao funny as all hell...
@Stef: I think "society" has this view that women need to change, fix themselves and do all the work in relationships. Unfortunately relationships are a job which requires work from both parties. fortunately there are men (a few on this blog included.. NO NOT U CRAIG... LOL) that seem like they would put in work for the right woman. But again unfortunately sometimes these men get overlooked because of the bitchassmen that came before them.
I think we have fewer men commenting on the subject because of overload... While we may be able to talk about this stuff for days a man will say what he has to say the first time & then he's done. Most of the blog dudes have already stated their opinion on this topic long ago..
@Sarkasm I was just messin with ya...kinda... Lol but I understand where u coming from.
@Annamaria - Powerz said stop posting on the blog and make sure his dinner is being cooked!! LOL
This is interesting...MUST WATCH....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VySGuXSSXpU&feature=player_embedded
@Geeque. Powerz is sitting his ass right next to me & we ALL know he doesn't want to get shanked by speaking to me like that! :)
being a brother all I can say is that there is a percentage of women do fit this mold. I realize that this is the extreme.
I don't think to do what has been suggested is "dating like a white girl" but it's certainly dating like an adult.
And my ideal women does not have to run the PTA, have Oprah money, or the perfect "ratio." But I would like the rest.
Dating out here is a mutha. Sometimes I feel like Darius Lovehall when he said "these women are killing me slow"
and Brooke - thanks for putting Holler if You Hear Me in the title. LOL!
The video clip is Hilarious. There are woman out there we really this like this!! These are the type of woman I like because most of them are only tough when they are around their friends. I play into their game and tell them what they want to hear. I break them down and the rest is history!!!l
This is genius!!! Hilarious and at the same time sad, but genius!!!
The fact that it was robotic (I know the service is called Text To Normal is what makes this robotic) was so appropriate. Alot of women (not all) sound just as robotic when they tell guys about their educational backgrounds and what they want and don't want from men the same way. They handle dating like a negotiation. They're oblivious to all of the contradictions that they're spewing out like the robotic woman.
The main point that I got from this is that there's no one-size fits all set of qualities that women should look for when trying to find a husband. Everyone is different. If you spend time listening to your girlfriends, reading Steve Harvey books and Essence magazines articles (which I call Harlequin romance books), and watching talk shows, taking all of that as gospel and not throwing your own spin or having an original thought of your own, this is what you sound like.
If they did a male video, that joint would be hella funny too!!!
Brooke,
This clip was too funny, but soo true. I think women want the world but they are not aware of everything in it!!!!!!!!!!! Let back up and make one modification for the fellas. The next sentence in the bible says "husbands also submit to your wives and love them as Christ loved the church"
The real question for women is are they prepared to do what it takes to have all of that. A relationship is not 50/50. It is 100/100. What women and men do is they wasted all the "good stuff" on a fool and then when the real deal comes around they are do proud submit. That goes for women just as much as it does for the men.
Now on my 2nd marriage it is sweeter time around. It takes work. Relationship maintainence must be done all the time. Example, everyone speaks of pre-marital counseling. What about counseling DURING the marriage?
Sterotypes are embedded in truth and I have heard this before. Not just with black women. I could go on and on but it's the weekend!
@Dmurray - Drop it on them bro!!
The men finally spoke up! LOL!
@Michael,
What does dating like an adult mean?
oh wow, I go screen a show and come back to find the men dropping some science on the sistas! Go head now!
@Michael, thanks for reading and commenting! All that cooking you do and you can't find a woman to appreciate that??? This man makes gourmet meals every night! The women in Dallas must be TRIPPIN'!
@Brian,
Don't be talkin' bout my Essence like that! even though I feel like I can write more interesting articles than them at times. And Steve Harvey has ANOTHER book coming out...still trying to figure out how he became the expert on everything.
@DMurray,
You're right - no one is willing to put in the work anymore. We want to sit back and let the other person make us happy. I never thought of it as 100/100...but everything you said is so true!
Lets face it, there are woman out there who think like this.. They have a right to create their list of the type of men they want; however most of them because of that list usually end up ALONE!!!!!
Have a good weekend!!!!
You know, you cant blame black women for all of their stances. I mean, the white man done messed us up. I mean look at it, the black man has been de-masculinized for so long. He has also been irresponsible, so a black woman who wants a black man has to protect herself emotionally.
So they want a real man, but they have to protect themselves in the event that the man is irresponsible, thus the independent black woman. But they also want the masculine things that they are attracted to in a man
- but that a large portion of black men in general have falied at
i'm confused. black men do the same thing. have the same unreasonable demands. they want "perfection" too and end up losing good women in the wake of that unreasonable search. black men and black women can be equally selfish when it comes to connecting with each other. it's not right in either instance but, black women seem to be the only ones who catch hell for it. the trend these days seems to be blame black women for all this stuff. it's pretty unfair. :-/
and that last comment is by a black man.
okay, so there are 2 anonymous' on here...so the FIRST anonymous was by me...a black man...not sure who the other one is - just call me Anonymous #1 LOL!
I like the counseling during the marriage concept. Kinda like a tune-up! LOL! Good stuff DMurray!
Is that Brian of RTT Throwback fame?? He's real?? LOL!!
Jeru was the SHIZNIT!
@Brooke: no I have not been able to find a woman in Dallas since I have been single again (discl: I was married for 4 years, no kids, not bitter).
Women assume something is wrong with me or that I am a player because I have female friends - not true. I guess they want a guy that never leaves the house.
Another guy checking in here...
Jay pretty much summed up what I was going to say.
I know too many black women that fit that clip to the "t". They are all single and unfortunately I think will be single for a very long time. If they weren't my friends, I know I would never deal with them. They are all over the place and can't make a decision to save their lives.
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