Friday, June 12, 2009

Why Does He...???

TGIF!!!!

Let me get my birthday shout-outs out the way - Happy Birthday to Anthony "Latinegro" Otero today! And tomorrow is Dmoe's birthday, so Happy Birthday early to you too!

Okay, so yesterday, Yolanda mentioned in her Random Thoughts that men confuse her. Rameer said that men are pretty easy to understand...the "normal" ones anyway.

So, I decided to take a poll and make a list of all the things that women say confuse them about men. These are in no particular order, and maybe the men can shed a little light on the things that confuse us. I would say that I'll give the men a chance to tell us the things we do that confuse them, but I don't really think they care :) They just accept that we're confusing creatures and they keep it movin'.

However, if any men are inclined to share, then email your frustrations to me at brookeybaby73@yahoo.com and I'll dedicate a blog to that for another day.

Okay, onto the things that confuse women about men...as I've been told :)

What I've done is number the questions that women had. Now I want the men to address/answer the questions in the blog comments by their corresponding number. You can answer one, two or all of them if you like. Understand?

And women, if you have more questions to add, then continue the number in your comments. Got it? Okay...let's go.


Why does he...???


1. say he doesn't like drama, but repeatedly gets into relationships with crazy women?

(maybe he wants to be like Ray J and "Danger" :-)

2. say he doesn't want a woman who is only interested in his money, but will brag about the new Lambo he just bought or how much he made in the stock market?

(bragging = not attractive)

3. always claim to have a girlfriend or be in a relationship, but then cheats every time? Why not just date? Why have a girlfriend if you KNOW you can't be faithful?

(That is one I never understood either)

4. ask for your phone number, never call...but he'll text you to death?

(annoying right? full paragraphs are not cool on text...who has the time?)

5. assume that if you cook for him, you're trying to be his wife?

(Dude, I was just being nice and you looked hungry...no strays)

6. not like cats? Because they're smarter than dogs?

(I'm sure if E. Payne reads this, he'll have something to say) :-)

7. brag about his sexual prowess, knowing he can't f*ck?

(he probably still sleeps in a single bed with "Star Wars" bedding...and when he kisses you, only his tongue moves...Rookie!)

8. play video games past the age of 30?

(Actually, this one doesn't confuse or bother me - but a lot of women seem to have a problem with this. There are worse things he could be doing. Be glad he's home playing with you and not out "playing" with someone else)

9. have sex with women he'd absolutely NEVER have a child with?

(is this a real question? he barely has to even know her name, let alone want her to be his baby mama - NEXT!)

10. express his interest in a woman, knowing he's not really available?

(again I ask, is this a real question?)


11. assume that if he tells a woman the truth, she won’t be able to handle it?

(Unless she’s the violent type, man up and tell her. She’ll respect you more after all is said and done. We handle the truth way better than we handle discovering a lie...trust me on that)


12. act like he doesn't care when he really does?

(uuummmm...maybe he REALLY just DOESN'T care)


13. drop everything just to watch the play-offs?

(uh...I kinda do too, so this doesn't bother me)

14. have a hard time expressing himself fully — especially when it deals with emotions?

(I'll leave this one to the men - no comment)


15. wait for us to say "I love you" first, even if he feels it first?

(how do you know he feels it first? no one likes rejection, and if you don't say it back??..whoa...)

16. have to have every electronic device known to man?

(hey, as long as someone knows how to work those things, I'm good)

17. read King and XXL Magazine and expect us not to feel a little self-conscious? We don’t look like video vixens - if that’s what he wants, why is he with me?

(sounds like a self-esteem issue...and he's with you cuz he can't get them! LOL!)


18. not want us until someone else wants us?

(this sounds like a DMoe quote - "nobody wants nobody nobody wants"...or something like that)

19. claim to be fearless, but when shown or given real, God's honest, genuine love...he hightails it and runs for the hills?

(cuz love is scary, that's why)


20. have the ability to be totally real with us when we're just friends, but the honesty and intimacy go out the window once we become lovers?

(hmmm, good one...I'm curious to read some answers on this one)

21. scoff at being "just friends"...as if the friendship is the "consolation prize" rather than the gift it truly is?

(cuz he wants to tap dat ass!)

22. feel that opening doors or doing something else chivalrous somehow translates into being "soft" or "whipped?"

(no home training)

23. dog the sh*t out of the next girl who comes after the one who broke his heart?

(come on now...women do this too...and most men aren't built to deal with heartache or confusion of emotions like women are)

24. feel that if he buys me a drink at a club/lounge, that I owe him all my time the rest of the night?

(hey, you offered...I didn't ask. LOL!)

25. say he needs time apart, but still calls you everyday and wants to "hang out" like you always do?

(cuz he wants to stay present enough so that YOU don't start dating someone else, and in case he wants to backslide. If he tells you he needs space, tell him to kick rocks, LOL!)

Okay, go!

-b

46 comments:

Serena W. said...

FIRST!!!!

Serena W. said...

2, 11, 14, And 20 confuse the heck out of me personally! Especially the truth part. Just spit it out and say because when mess hits the fan and I find out the truth and you couldn't confront me to begin with then feelings will get hurt and its not going to be pretty. Infamous line for this, "Baby I didn't know how to tell you..."

What! Just spill it?

As you can see this one was near and dear to me so brothers help me or just tell me I was dealing with bit** a**es.

Overall I believe we confuse each other. But my thing is be totally honest with yourself and your partner. Just tell the truth! If you're crazy and know it then say it so I can decide if I want to be with you.

Okay I'll let some other folks chime in.

Serena W. said...

My bad...Happy Bday Ant and DMoe! Have a great day!

Latinegro said...

I am just going to answer each one because I do not feel like working...

1. We don't like drama but do not know how to live drama free.

2. I have no money so it is not a problem. At least I know a woman will want me for me.

3. Clearly something is missing in those realationships.

4. Maybe he thinks it is easier to be real over text.

5. Maybe he assumes that because he really wants one...

6. There are guys who like cats, but if he likes you he will tolerate any animal u have.

7. Nothing wrong with Star Wars! My opinion is guys who brag are compensating for something...or maybe he didnt think u were going to be as good as you were...lol

8. Any woman who has an issues with video games played by guys over the age of 30 can kick rocks. That is when I say get over yourself.

9. I dont know how to answer this. I mean not all women sleep with men they want to have kids with...

10. see #3

11. This may because we think that the truth is so bad that you will leave us...

12. If he cares you will know.

13. Hellloo...playoffs! That means no dancing with the fucking stars or any nonsense you make us watch.

14. Emotions are hard to deal with. We are not brought up to be emotional. Dealing with pain and sorrow is not easy at all.

15. I dont follow this rule, but we know the consequenses if you dont say it back. (see 14)

16. yes, we like electronics...just as much as you like shoes...

17 i dont read those magazines...but it does give us fantasies that you will benefit from.

18 I will say that this is a gage. Most men may not know if we truly care until something like this happens...

19. Not sure about that, but love is scary that is for sure, especailly if you have fucked it up before...

20. There is no pressure when we are friends.

21. Friendship is a consolation prize when you really like someone.

22. That is just dumb. That men's the man has low self worth.

23. Being the rebound sucks

24. I dont buy women drinks, unless I know them.

25. We definately dont want you to forget about us.

sorry for any typos. I can exapand on any of these...

Brooke said...

Hey y'all! Serena, you and I are here (**two fingers pointing at my eyes and then at your eyes**) Just say it. I can't stand liars. I just wanna run them over with a bus.

Ant, uh...Dancing with the F*cking Stars is a great show! But I love the playoffs too :)

Nobody wants to be the rebound, no one...especially women.

I'm not a shoe girl, but I get it ;)

Fantasies like what? :)

Annamaria said...

OK I'm shanking all of you! LMAO.....

ANYWHO....I like playing video games & I love the playoffs. SOOOO I won't complain about that.

And maybe because I grew up in a house with all men I kinda always knew that men were simple creatures. I've always been the TOO HONEST chick.. which kinda scares some men sometimes.. (I guess they ain't used to it)I honestly just hate men that try to hard OR lie about things. I really could care less what a man has & how much money he got. If we in a relationship we here for each other to build together soo stop trying to be a baller. I am a simple girl & like the simple things in life anyways.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANT & DMOE!!! HAVE 2 DRINKS FOR ME...DAMN I MISS ALCOHOL! LOL

Brooke said...

okay, I know random thoughts thursday was yesterday, but why am I just a litttttle too excited about wearing Hammer pants today?

:)

okay...carry on :-)

Annamaria said...

Brooke where are my pictures???? LMAO PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEEEE

Brooke said...

we're going at noon, no pics yet.

And ONLY YOU will see any IF I take any :-)

Rameer said...

It's pretty hard for me to add to what Ant wrote (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANT!!!). I may re-look at these later, but he pretty much hit the nail on the head.

I'm assuming MOST of these questions aren't yours, Brooke - cuz a good number seem elementary, my dear Watson. YOU answered many of them...I think if you're a grown woman and you can't figure out the answer to some of these questions (playoffs? video games? King & XXL?), then you probably have no shot at finding a meaningful relationship - cuz you don't even understand THE BASICS from high school!

One of my FAVORITE comedians, Corey Holcomb, said something in his routine that I think is DEAD TRUE:

"Ladies, if you're over the age of 30 and you really believe ALL men ain't ish cuz YOU keep winding up in bad relationships...YOU'RE THE PROBLEM, B***H!!!"

LMAO! That dude SPECIALIZES in real talk in his routine...

Anyways...I gotta a busy-a$$ day. I will try to chime in later. But I typically give NO WOMAN a pass when it comes to me personally - I'm WILD EASY to understand, cuz I always say what I mean and feel, and I never lie...

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

Waaaaaaaay to many questions when again ...Rameer broke it down. We are simple creatures. 80% of the qeustions you asked I can't even identify with... simply cuz I'm a grown ass man and mature. On emotions... men are just built a little differently, partially do to our perceived place in society. We don't communicate that well via words, but watch our actions carefully. If our actions show a disrespect for you and your feelings...9 times out of 10 we don't respect you or your feelings.

I gotta go... but will leave you with one thing which I will tell my daughter if/when I have one. If you want to know if a man loves you ...find out what a man holds near and dear to his heart... family, money, car, his time...whateva. When he starts to share that with you... you got'em.

Yolanda said...

WHEW! Thanks for the shout-out, Brooke.

I'll say I'm pretty simple and easy going. It really does not take a whole lot to make me happy. I don't want your money, I don't care what you drive and I really don't require fancy dates all the time. My "love" language really is about the time we spend together. I went to the drive in and ate cheesesticks last summer and it was seriously THE BEST date I've ever had.

So, one thing that confuses me about men for sure: why do they say (and show) they're attracted to you, enjoy your company & spend time with you, text/call/go out with you, all that... but yet, they don't want to commit because they're not "boyfriend ready." Uh, what the hell is that? Am I THAT unappealing or is dude just punkish? "Boyfriend ready?" Is it a triathlon? Do you have to call in a trainer to get "ready?" Seems like you're doing half the "boyfriendly" things already. So just man up and commit. DAMMIT! How hard can it be?

Latinegro said...

Yolanda...why do u think it is about you?

No one knows what is happeneing inside the mind of another person. Being afraid to commit may also mean being scared that they may hurt the someone.

You should never think it is about you. Trust me on that.

Anonymous said...

1. Because most women are complexed, most men are simple so they are viewed as crazy based on their complexity.

2. Not sure what normal guy has money to have a lambo, what clown was you dealing with???!!

3. Well that’s the gray area, what do you define as “cheating”. There is universal consensus that sleeping with another person is cheating. However, is texting another person considered cheating? Well just because you have a girlfriend doesn’t mean you’re going to be married like next week. Each have to sit down and put it all on table on what each expectations are.

4. Got to understand, depending on the female, they don’t even like giving out their numbers because of their claim to “past crazy dudes”. Text to death-perhaps he’s at work and can’t talk. In all honesty, probably is texting you and several other women at same time. 4 convos is better than 1 (example)

5. That’s a keeper to a certain degree. At least platonic friend with “cooking” benefits. Yes I said it. Females only thing there are only one type of benefit in the friends with benefits and that’s incorrect! There are several kinds and cooking is definitely one (esp on my list of benefits from a female)

6. I have no idea what this meant.

7. Umm not true. He probably could. However, best references is third party. Ask him to call his last few experiences and let the females confirm that for him. Another person’s word (esp of someone you don’t know) goes a long way.

8. Video games is a hobby, it’s a money maker. Trust, you rather have this as an issue in your relationship than a human!!!

9. Have you ever heard of the “right woman” and then there is the woman for “right now!”….. lol

10. You never know what she may have in return. Situation goes, a man or woman will make available to those they feel is worth the time. Whether he is tons of busy, if he thinks she is worth the time, he’ll make time for her (Regardless of circumstances) – Real talk!

11. Most women can’t handle the truth. That’s just a cold-blooded fact. Sometimes it justifies men lie because they don’t want to hurt a female? Or find out the true reality?

12. Men have egos! ! You get to his ego, he’s vunerable. That explains why the question was asked.

13. If he’s into sports, forget about it. You can’t win. Men has sports, women has –top model (just the way it is).

14. See answer to question 12!!!!!!

15. N/A!!!!!!
16. Umm… that’s some gray area to that. Not every electronic device but have the latest issh to fit his lifestyle.

17. King, XXL, strip clubs, all fantasy. Men can’t fantasize? Women do it all the time.

18. That’s insecure men who do this dumb ish. I can’t justify this lol.

19. All based on his ego, see answer to question 12.

20. This is where you find the real men from the fake! Some guys just don’t give a you know what and will keep it gully no matter what the situation is.

21. Wtf is this question asking?

22. Depends, this is where women get it twisted. Yes I can see the chivalry if you’re “dating” and each person has a genuine interest in each other. Matter of fact, this happens if you are romantically involved behind closed doors (not just because he’s payin on the first “date”. I have a lot to say about this, email me at scream_at_chaboi@yahoo.com for the uncut truth!

23. Men have EGOS!!!!!!!!

24. That’s why I don’t buy my own damn drink. I drink before I go to the spot. Lot of fine women think just because they are pretty, they “expect” a drink from a man. I’ve been told that from a woman they expect a drink from a man. That chick was wildin’. But lot of men will throw these money at women and when sh*t hits the fan, then men spazz. That’s the men’s fault 80%, women’s fault 20%. I say women too because most to claim to be ‘independent”. Shouldn’t accept drinks from strangers anyway! Women claim to be independent, buy your own drink! 

25. I have no idea what question #25 is about, doesn’t apply to me. I can’t relate or give feedback.

Rameer said...

Okay...I can handle Yolanda's question...

I've told a woman that before. You know WHY a guy may say that? Cuz it's all about commitment and, in my case, freedom. I was dating a girl and everything was cool a while back. She wanted to label us gf/bf. I figured what could it hurt - I liked her, we vibed, I wasn't looking at anyone else...even though I didn't want to label us, I allowed her to.

Things immediately changed. Whenever I did something without her, it was like "why didn't you do that with ME?" or "why didn't you include me?" Heaven forbid I do something with a female friend that appreciated the activity...she didn't like b-ball, yet it burned her up that I watched a game with a female friend. Um, I can't watch it WITH YOU without you asking to turn to "American Idol" or some stupid reality show, no can I?

I started to feel like I had no freedom...it became a real issue, and she was like "a boyfriend has to spend x amount of time...he has to do X, Y and Z". This was NEVER a problem all the months we dated before that label. But AFTER that label...we would go places that - lo and behold! - her family members would be that she wanted to intro me to; I felt like I HAD to be with her a certain amount of days a week; she felt like I should call her before I went to sleep every night...anyone who knows me knows I can get really busy, and I'm ALWAYS dividing my time up to different family and friends. And I wasn't going to short-change my family and friends and put her #1...we weren't ENGAGED.

That's my perspective, Yo. Maybe a guy is thinking of not doing the commitment thing due to those issues I raised of what happened to me - it's definitely made me not be quick to throw any labels on things. Does that help?

Annamaria said...

I have more of a comment than a question. WHY would a man get engaged & be anti marriage? I know someone who is engaged to be married & has such a warped view of marriage it's sickening. I really hope his fiance truly understands what she is getting herself into cause I really believe she's in it with her heart.

BTW:BROOKE I LOVE YOU...LOL

Rameer said...

Damn, Annamaria - that's messed up. I hope you and her friends try to warn her...sounds like an eventual messy divorce to me. Hope I'm wrong...

And that's not a MAN thing - that's a THAT GUY thing.

Annamaria said...

See I'm in a tough situation. She isn't really a friend of mine. SO I can't really warn her. I just have some first hand knowledge of the situation. I just hope someone else sees it. And Rameer you are 100% right that is his hang up. I've honestly never met a man as lucky as he is as negative as he is. This woman has taken on the responsibility of being a step mom to his daughter. Helped him better himself career wise and education wise. Has supported him both financially & emotionally. And he's out there being a straight up clown while this poor girl is out there planning her dream wedding. I hope he gets some sense knocked into him before the wedding & either mans up OR does this chick a favor & lets her move on to someone who will appreciate her.

Yolanda said...

Interesting. But how could it not be about ME though? LOL
It must be about ME!
Kidding.
And I understand what you’re saying Rameer, I really do. I think there are a lot of previous issues in this dude’s life that I’m affected by. Unfortunately (or perhaps, fortunately…who knows), I’ve met this man at a time in his life when he’s been scarred. So I’m rolling with it and seeing what happens. The problem is keeping myself grounded enough to know that I cannot control anyone else’s behavior, cannot “make” anyone like me and cannot turn these dudes into boyfriends (no matter how much bf/gf type things we do). It’s all so confusing. What ever happened to courtship and dating? Hell, I’ll even take a “do you like me, check yes or no” right about now!

Rameer said...

Annamaria - I feel you. Best thing then is to STAY OUT OF IT. Don't even comment on it to people who yap their mouths; cuz you could be right, but they'll paint you as the bad guy.

I would say urge someone close to her to bring up the issues to her. I hate to say it, but it really sounds like Doomsville. Guys like that are a waste of matter.

Yolanda...

I'mma keep it REAL. Grown-a$$ men who are scarred are BAD NEWS. See, most men have been hurt, but man-up and get over it and move on. But if you can still look at him and tell he's been scarred or he freely admits it to you - uh-uh. Men tend to not take their previous problems or issues into new situations when they mature...but grown dudes who do that? BAD NEWS.

My honest advice...don't get too attached. I'm not saying break-up or put any demands - nor should you make a huge issue where there isn't one yet. But for your own sanity, just have fun and enjoy the companionship and fun. Essentially, be like a man. Cuz he's ALREADY exhibiting hesitancy in getting closer...the more attached YOU become, the higher chance for YOU to be heartbroken and hurt.

Remember - men are simple. If he has issues, it doesn't bode well. Hoping for him to miraculously change or finally "get it" one is Fool's Gold. Most men simply won't.

I'mma tell you the most dude-ish thing I can tell you to do...

Keep him for the present time, but go on the lookout for a new guy. Don't CHEAT, but look for a new candidate. I call this the "QB Method". When we were young, I told my brother always keep 3 QBs on the active roster...meaning, keep 3 girls in your vicinity at all times. QB #1 is your starter, that's who you get down with, your main squeeze - Joe Montana. QB #2 is your reliable back-up - ready to go in the game and can STILL lead you to the Super Bowl. This is a person y'all cool, and they know your situation...but y'all both know if QB #1 wasn't in the picture, y'all would be together no doubt. Keep this person in your life, talk to them regularly, even hang with them - but don't ever cheat with them (they won't respect you, and if y'all do get together, they'll wonder what's to prevent you from doing them that way). If #1 act up, cut 'em and elevate #2 to a starter!

QB #3...that's Steve Bono. A good back-up who can def win you some games, and with enough around them, might develop into a viable starter. This one you keep more at a distance; they would LIKE to get with you, but are not sure you would ever be on that tip. YOU know you would, but you don't clue them in on this...you just tell them they're a great person, and a girl would be lucky to have them. Y'all keep it platonic, but YOU know dude would love to have a romantic relationship with you. Check in with them within a 2 week span; maybe meeting to kick it platonically at Starbucks or something, many times in group settings, but you guys always wind up pairing off to crack jokes within the group.

You elevate and cut QBs as necessary...but you ALWAYS keep 3. Treat it like sports - acting funny? Oh, we got a BACK-UP, son! And I use the example of Joe Montana, Steve young and Steve Bono cuz those dues was SWEET - probably THE best QB depth chart in NFL history. Steve Young couldn't get off the bench unless Montana was hurt - and HE was a Hall Of Fame caliber QB!! Steve Bono was dope too!

If I violated Manlaw by telling that, so be it. Yolanda's my peoples, so I'mma help out if I can.

Hope me getting my Dr. Phil on didn't bore anyone...

Brooke said...

Okay, I'm back...and I think I've lost about 10 lbs. after
"typewritering" across town, thru Times Square and back again. Please, whatever you do, DO NOT watch the news or the Suze Orman show. We kinda bumrushed her show. Yikes! And Hammer joined us, so it was cool! I'll send pics. I've already sent one to Annamaria, and I love you back! :-)

NOW...I think the men are giving some pretty honest answers here. I think what it all comes down to are intentions, honesty and responsibility. If you're honest upfront with what you want and/or expect, then the man or woman can either get with it or keep it movin. Simple as that.

I like the QB rule Rameer...we call it having back-ups, but I like your thinking. Now I just have to get 3 dudes interested :(

Be back with more comments, I need to go take a shower. Whew!

D said...

Your blog is too funny.

Eliminate #8 there’s no age limit for that. LOL

#9 too cuz women do it too.

#11 is so true. LOL

#13 because it is important

OK it just too much to address.

I love it

-D

Brooke said...

and to answer Melvin's question - your LIPS are supposed to be moving too, not just your tongue. LICKING is not KISSING.

okay...be back for real now :)

Yolanda said...

Damn Rameer. That’s good stuff. I hear you on the scarring thing though. The up side is I can definitely see improvement. Trust, this was a rather bitter brother when we first met. But he’s light years ahead of where he was. I can see that so clearly that it’s almost tangible.
I agree though. I’m just going to see where this is going…see what’s on his mind. I can’t waste too much time on it cuz it’ll drive me crazy. And I don’t need that.
Now, as far as these quarterbacks go. Where am I meeting these men? Real talk (I really hate that term, BTW), I can’t even tell you the last time I met ONE or TWO really interesting me that I’d want to spend time with, much less THREE. I don’t know where they’re hiding and they damn sure don’t approach me. Perhaps it’s being in DC. Perhaps it’s me. Perhaps it’s a combo of both. But I’m definitely “out” there, not tucked away in my house all the time. When you spot these QB’s, give me a shout.

Rameer said...

Yolanda - I know so many women in the DC/Maryland are in your situation. It's tough - we men have the pick of the litter down there. Y'all outnumber us like 4-1! My advice...you gotta change/diversify your spots to be at. Jazz spots, poetry, art museum, special events, networking, etc. Also, one thing I've ALWAYS noticed - you gotta approach THEM. I'm not saying this is right - but dudes down there are SPOILED. If you want it, you gotta go after it.

Hell, I'M spoiled down there - and I don't even LIVE there...lolz!

Brooke - hard for me to give you advice about NYC...I don't live there and don't particularly visit a lot since I'm not a fan of that city, so I can't really gameplan it. But I gotta imagine you should be able to find someone...you know how many dudes (including ME) think you're FINE?!? You're def in a better environment than Yolanda - TRUST ME. DC and ATL are like a single Black woman's nightmare...and a Black man's HEAVEN...

But be willing to elevate QBS anytime dudes get squirrely! Don't waste 6 months on a brotha who ain't worth it - it'll drive you mad!

If y'all was some buck-toothed wildebeasts, I wouldn't tell y'all NOTHIN'...lolz! But both of y'all are pretty, intelligent women with a lot going on for you. Definite catches.

=)

Brooke said...

awww, thanks Rameer. Yoland, move to NY. There are definitely alot of men here, you just have to come after THEM...with their bitchass selves :-) LOL!!

(I know I'm about to hear it offline for THAT comment) :-)

I heard DC and ATL were the WORST! I have a few friends in both cities who are 2 steps from turning into lesbians cuz it's so bad. Geesh!

Serena, get ready!

Yoland, if he ain't got no more "act right" after 6 months, bounce and make him be Black History :-)

I'm just kiddin...sike...no really, uh...yeah...

Yolanda said...

Eh, if all else fails, maybe I'll join a convent.

Serena W. said...

Well Yolanda I'm about to head back to the DC area in a month but it's not worse than Dallas, TX. The market is horrible here. (Whole blog in itself).

Rameer...I know we had this conversation about Dallas lol.

I do want to thank you. You nailed some things for me as a woman and I concur with the answers.

Especially the parts that stated,
"Men tend to not take their previous problems or issues into new situations when they mature...but grown dudes who do that? BAD NEWS."

Also the part when you said,

"Remember - men are simple. If he has issues, it doesn't bode well. Hoping for him to miraculously change or finally "get it" one is Fool's Gold. Most men simply won't."

I think it goes for women too that have a lot of issues, aren't truthful to their mate and haul into their new relationship. Bad news.

Goes back to honesty, but I guess it's hard to be honest when you are scuuuured. Either way...run!

Latinegro said...

Hey...becoming a Monk is not a bad idea! I think you can learn kungfu in the process...

Serena W. said...

Brooke! I want to see pictures!

Yolanda said...

Next stop... WHITE MEN!

Latinegro said...

Happiness does not have an age or a color. Do what you gotta...just dont do white trash...LOL

Serena W. said...

Now I will say the white men out here aren't afraid of approaching a sista at all! A good man is a good man...period. So I've begun to open up my eyes.

Rameer said...

Serena - you're welcome! And yes...I DO remember you talking about men where you were...lolz!

Yolanda...that white men thing is A WHOLE 'NOTHA BLOG...

Brooke - you're welcome! Racial discussions and relationships/men-women dynamics are my specialities according to my girl Stace...

Ant - I wouldn't mind becoming a Shaolin Monk as long as I didn't have to be celibate...those dudes are SWEET! Seriously -what they know and can do...holy spit!

Latinegro said...

I would only give up sex for a few years if at the end...I can throw a fireball...LOL

Annamaria said...

Rameer thanks for the advice. Definitely staying the hell out of it. God willing things will turn out the way they should...

Brooke said...

Serena, I'm downloading them, but wow...I look crazy! But I think I had a lil bit too much fun :-)

Yolanda said...

I'm open to the white man (no pun)...but there is just SOMETHING about a brotha. Lawdamercy.

(*fanning myself*)

Serena W. said...

Yolanda we can road trip to NYC but it's a little better up that way on the men front lol!

Rameer and Ant whats upstate looking like lmao! What do you hear from women up your way????

Latinegro said...

Serena...Syracuse sucks. I dont event want to be here as a single man...

I am sure normal people who live here would be horrified by the selection.

Yolanda said...

I think it's difficult a lot of places. I hear the same complaints from men and women all over, so I refuse to move to chase penis.
There MUST be a local penis for me.

I think we're all just dumb and we've forgotten how to court and BE courted. Everything is about texting and other digital crap. We've got to get back to basics.

Brooke said...

I hear you Yolanda...remember when a guy would come and ask if you could come outside and ride bikes or sit on your front porch and talk? I had better relationships as a teenager and in my 20's than I do now...long, lasting monogamous ones. What happened?

Serena W. said...

Yes Brooke! I miss those days girl! Or if it was too late to go outside I would talk through the window. Those were the days...

Rameer said...

The men where I'm at are full of sh*t and VERY bitcha$$. The relationship scene is all about who has the best "game"...everyone thinks they're "g" and can mack. It's VERY wack.

And the ones who are doing something substantial have egos that would make Kanye blush...

I asked a woman if she could come outside just last week...she said it was cute. =)

Brooke said...

I wish a man would ask me if I could come outside...especially on a nice, warm evening in the summer. Memories man.

One of my favorite dates was going to a carnival :) Something so fun, yet very sexy about amusement parks, carnivals. Especially kissing on a ferris wheel :)

Malik said...

Damn, wish I got in on this discussion a lot earlier. Sometimes I wonder if as human beings we are a glutton for punishment. As if our actions don't matter and somehow things are going to play out in a fashion that is to our liking.

I'm just coming off a knowledge expedition (6 months) along the lines of objectivity, probability, human behavior and statistics. I would suggest people read Black Swan by Nassim Taleb and Real Love by Ava Muhummad (hard to find these days).

Maybe I'm naive, but if the average person is not willing to do the necessary homework in regards to understanding human behavior, knowledge of self, the science of sincerity I find it odd that many of us wonder why we keep having the same types of conversations but packaged in different ways. Human experience couple with new information (whether from reliable books, documentaries, within the sciences of religion or secular humanism) should always be our main focus.

How do we get beyond the trivial when we don't take in new information to find answers? You can never gauge tone on threads. I say the above words with the utmost sincerity and respect.

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