Friday, October 21, 2011
I have another guest blogger today! Let's see if we can help her with her dilemma - hopefully the men will chime in to give us some perspective. Let's go!
All I Really Want is to Be Happy...by Emotionally Done
The title of this post was inspired by a friend on Facebook that had it as her status. I immediately snagged it from her not knowing that we were in the same boat. Too many of my friends in 2011 are sharing a similar journey. Some even have kids with these guys. The boat we are in is love with no commitment.
All of us are in love with guys that won't commit. I tried to "control" my feelings last year. I was in denial because I just knew that I had my guard up! But by the holidays of 2010 I knew I was in love with him.
I confessed my love and he said he wasn't there yet - which is fine. The one thing I know is that people don't always feel the same way at the same time.
But what happens when almost a year has gone by and still nothing? The guys we love stated that they are attracted to us, deeply care for and even love us...but are not "in love." However, they all said that they want a woman that loves them and cares for them...but yet when God gave us to them, they don't know what to do!
Emotions are even more on a high when there are kids involved. We have a young daughter together and he said a child doesn't make a relationship. Well that's true, but I had these feelings before I even knew I was pregnant. So now what? Sometimes I wish that my feelings would just fade to the back!
I asked Brooke if I could write to the blog. I read her blogs but never really comment, but love the blog fam. I'm baffled and hurt. There have even been times when people called me his girlfriend and he doesn't correct them. Even some of his family thinks we're together...and yet he won't correct them either! WTH???
Remember that scene from Love Jones when Nia Long slept with a pillow in between her legs because he was in the next room...yeah that was me recently. Not cool!
What have I decided to do with my situation? Suppress my feelings. Why keep showing love when it's not being returned? I'm physically starved for affection but I'm tired of being a "play girlfriend."
I would love to hear what the blog has to say...especially the men. Is he scared? Does he just want his cake and eat it too? Maybe feelings from the past are haunting him? Let me hear your thoughts and if you have ever felt this way.