Thursday, February 12, 2009

I'm an incurable romantic. Maybe it's the Pisces in me. Even after a heartbreak has brought me to my emotional knees, to the point where the pain makes it hard for me to stand up straight, I inevitably love and continue to love again.

I'm in love with love. The all consuming, "can't breathe without you kinda love." The "my heart bursts through my chest when I think of your touch" kinda love. The "this, right here, right now...is all I care about" kinda love. The "urgent like a muthaf*cka" kinda love.



Yes, that's me...that's the kind of love I'm in love with. I got a Love Jones for love.

Romance for me is made up of intense physical and emotional manifestations that have been the energy behind the relationships I cherish, the poetry I write and the songs I download on my iPod. Romance is the human side of lust. Lust is fleeting, whereas romantic love - the notion of it - is lasting. When we fall in love, we yearn to capture and hold tight that intoxicating, crazy kind of feeling.

We designated a holiday, Valentine's Day, to celebrate the magnificent power and splendor of romantic love. How many poems have been written and offered in the name of love? How many flowers have been delivered, and then pressed into books - as the presser prayed the love behind those flowers would last? We save cards, special notes that were hidden for us to find, keepsake boxes stuffed with letters filled with words wrapped in ribbons - all to satisfy our romantic heart.

Unhappily, love can die or - perhaps worse, never ignite in our hearts at all. How many hearts have been broken into little itty bitty pieces at the hands of love - never to be put back together again? There is no cream we can apply or pill we can take for a broken heart. We simply say a little prayer - every night when we're alone, and our heart is aching - that it will never happen to us again...even as we sadly accept the reality that it may. When a broken heart strikes, it can suffocate us. Each beat of our heart can bring pain so intense we can't breathe. We have no pulse. I've been there.

Yet, romantics like me continue to fall in love anyway and expect a fairly-tale ending. As much sh*t as I talk and no matter how much I believe my love life will NEVER be revived, I subconsciously have hope. And I have that hope for everyone. I pray that love finds everyone I care for. I feel you all deserve it!

So yes, I'll admit I feel all warm and pink and fuzzy inside around Valentine's Day. I love love...every single day...every sugary, sappy bit of it. It's the sweetest thing I've ever known.



Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow! Kiss and hug everyone you love and let them know how much they mean to you - EVERY day. Have a love-filled weekend!

-b

33 comments:

Latinegro said...

HI HATERS...i go read now

Brooke said...

LOL!!! If I keep writing and posting late at night, then Ant will ALWAYS beat y'all...cuz we seem to be on the same blogging schedule lately :)

The Black Cloud aka Andre said...

Damn I'm up late too!! WTH!!? I wasn't even catching those slick comments. I thought it was some bloggers' comparing blogs crap...argghh. Latinegro you will pay!! LOL

Maybe next time I'll be blogging instead of writing this darn book.

Ok..I'll go read now.LOL

Latinegro said...

Brook,

This a great post! Love has always been such a slippery slope for me, because I feel that it is never one thing,meaning that love always seems to be redefined by our experiences.

While I think that love is great, I think most people may define love based on how hurt they have been. I think that is the one pain that we can all agree upon being the worst, which is that of a broken heart.

But that pain is only as great as the love you can have for someone, especailly when it is a shared love. Once you share a love with someone then you have achieved a high that no drug can give you.

I still have issues with Valentines day though...lol

The Black Cloud aka Andre said...

Love Jones is that ish!! With time I've become way less romantic. Not that I don't have those thoughts and I don't feel like wooing and courting and all that, but with time I've taken enough hard hits and issues that being jaded has effected the way I look at romance.

I appreciate it, generally in movies. I guess that's how I ended up with the wife that I have. She frowns at Valentine's Day like it stepped on the toe of her new high heels.

Personally, I prefer being romantic when it's a surprise. V-day, ehhh everybody is doing it then. But that moment when you're sick and stuffy nosed and feeling like crap? That's when I like to pop up with a romantic something.

Brooke said...

There is always an occasion to express love and romance. Why? Cuz we can create those moments, like you said Dre. It's not just about Valentine's Day, but it should be about any day...every day. Obviously I write this post in tribute to what Valentine's Day symbolizes...which to me is a day to celebrate the sappy side of love. Some use it as an excuse to let someone know they're feeling them because the other person has no clue. Secret admirers tend to come out on Valentine's Day.

But I write out cards for my nephews, give my mom and sister gifts, and write poems for special friends on this day too. It's just a day to let the people I love, who already know that I love them, know that I still do and always will. Valentine's Day for me is just me MAGNIFIED on that day. I tell my sister and mom I love them everyday and I show it to those I care about on a regular basis. But me being the sap I am, get all lovey dovey on V-Day as well. I just can't help it...no matter how hard to try to get rid of it.

I guess that's just it..I should embrace my sappiness :) I'd much rather be in love with love than to never love at all. Pisces in me....

E. Payne said...

The first scene in your post is my favorite scene in this movie as well. Love (real love) is entirely too big for Feb. 14 and all the hooplah that leads up to it. Love is a fire raging out of control. It's a whisper that makes you stay when you want to leave. It's work! But it's life too. I'm not sure life is 100% life until you've truly experienced heartache associated with love and at least love that just works. Love Jones has some great music in it too. I think this is one of the movies that makes it sexy, ugly and even stupid (if you consider some of the plot line). But isn't that love anyway?

Annamaria said...

1. I will be tasing all you late night bloggers.
2. To address the late night questions from yesterday: Fury: If I saw a starving child & knew that my milk was the difference between them living or dying then YES I would breastfeed them. AND I'D LET Salma Hayek breast feed my baby in a heartbeat. Nicole NO I haven't found out the sex of the baby. I should be able to in the begining of April.

NOW on to today's topic:
I LOVE LOVE & I'm am VERY MUCH IN LOVE right now. I'm not only blessed to be in love with my partner I'm in love with the baby in my belly & my 2 beautiful stepchildren. AND THANK GOD I GET TO SPEND MY VALENTINE'S DAY WITH ALL OF THEM!!! We have the kids this weekend sooo we are going to spend the day doing things with them & then once they go to bed Austin & I will celebrate. ;)
I do however have a problem with "valentine's day" I believe it's nice to celebrate how you feel & stuff BUT why do most people need a day designated for them to be nice & show they care. I know people who treat their partners like crap 364 days of the year YET on Valentine's day they are as sweet as honey??? WTF??? I truly believe you should try to show your love & affection as much as humanly possible because you never know what the future brings.

Have a wonderful V-day everyone..

XOXOXOXOXO

The Black Man said...

Hi Brooke,

I had a good feeling that you would post something interesting today to post for Valentine's Day. It is always good to acknowledge the ones that you love and those who love you. This should happen every day. Everyone have a great weekend.

Brooke said...

E, love is all those things you spoke of. It's allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It guides our words and deeds. It can be daunting. It's powerful. And it can symbolize renewal - which is the part I'm most grateful for.

And you're right, love isn't what makes the world go round, it's what makes life worth living.

Annamaria, you're right. The only thing wrong with Valentine's Day, in my opinion, is not that the day exists, but that it's commercialized as the ONLY day we should show others how we feel about them. So long as I continue to let the people that I love know how much they mean to me on a regular basis, I have no problem with a holiday designed to celebrate the love that already exists. It's just a shame that a lot of people don't share and spread love everday like you say...tomorrow isn't promised to any of us.

Brooke said...

Thank you Black Man! It's never hard for me to show my affection. I used to think that was a weakness, but I realize there's strength in love...it does my heart good :)

Rameer said...

Get ready to throw tomatoes and get your "booooo!" on, people...

I don't F with Valentine's Day. OR Sweetest Day. Or damn near any "holidays", for that matter.

I have a philosophical view that I don't need any day to remind me to do or think about anything, nor do I need to do what the rest of the crowd is doing. I can think of ONE V-Day I celebrated outside of when I was a lil' kid (which I don't really count - you go to school and they give you V-Day candy...what kid turns down candy?). It was with an ex-girlfriend, and it really didn't amount to spit in my opinion. Manufacturing romance for a particular day cuz everyone else is doing it is wack to me.

Funny thing is, people who don't know me sometimes assume "I'd hate to be your girl or dating you". And my response is "ask any woman I've been with where I rate on the romance meter." And, inevitably, I'm always near the top in terms of romantic guys. That's cuz I do romantic, sweet things JUST BECAUSE. Any moron can take a cue from advertisements and everyone getting hyped...

Try breakfast in bed, roses, erotic massage, and a trip to a beautiful city on the spur of the moment on October 2nd.

I even taught my brother to do things just because when we were lil' ones. He was amazed at the reaction he got and the good rep he garnered...I told him a girl would appreciate it more to do it out of the blue, and not wait a year between occurrences than the morons who do nothing all year, but on that one day pop up with some funky old grocery store flowers. I even taught him to NEVER buy red roses - be original.

My personal favorite...peach roses. Kinda rare, and not every florist has 'em...but they're beautiful and original. i'd say 95% of all women I've ever given a peach rose to had never received one in their entire lives...

Besides, I went to Catholic school for 12 years. St. Valentine and the subsequent various Valentine's had nothing to do with romance or love. A few were martyrs. As is the case with most holidays, it got changed for a reason that has nothing to do with the original person or purpose, and no one really knows or cares to look up or check out the origin.

So, I don't begrudge anyone for doing their thing. I just don't fool with V-Day or most holidays. Days that are important to me are ones that have their own special meaning to me - people's birthdays, anniversaries of events shared between myself and others, etc. Yes, some of y'all may be like "it ain't that deep". So be it.

It's kind of why I tend to stand on an island with my beliefs...but I stick by 'em until given a good reason to change 'em.

You may commence to booing, tasing and throwing cyber tomatoes at me...

An I probably won't be on here too much today...in Buffalo dealing with the plane crash, so I'm gonna be MUCHO busy.

Happy Friday the 13th to all!

Rameer said...

P.S. - Love Jones is MY SH*T - literally my favorite romantic movie EVER. I KEEPS a copy in the crib and at various relatives houses...

Brooke said...

Love Jones is my favorite romantic movie too...but I think you guys know that from my previous blogs. I can watch it over and over again, and I have multiple copies too. The soundtrack is the shiznit!

And I agree with you Rameer, no tomatoes being thrown here :) The best relationship I was in was one where my boyfriend did things for me simply because it was Tuesday. If I complained about a bad morning at work, he would tell me to take a long lunch to regroup and get myself together. When I would get back from my long lunch, there would be tulips (my favorite) waiting on my desk from him with a note that simply said "it's going to be okay." That is romance to me...and Valentine's Day was no where in site. Romance isn't just about flowers and candy, sometimes it's just about a few words spoken to calm your spirit. It's about listening and paying attention and making your partner feel loved on a regular basis.

So I agree, like I said in a previous comment - romance is the moments we create on any given day..not just Valentine's Day. Your opinion is no different than most people I know actually, and I find no problem with that. I'm just a sugary person in general, so I will always take advantage of a day where I can show my love appreciation :)

Peggy said...

I love LOVE...it is a beautiful thing. I love recieving it and I love giving it.

The commercialization of Valentine's Day, man it is what it is.

I think we all are fully aware when/if someone if full of caca 364 and then on 2/14 they're the king or queen of romance.

I don't think that's what Brooke's blog is about. At least that's not what I got from it.

I totally understand everyone's comments, (especially Rameer's)but in lew of Valentine's Day....let's keep the LOVE flowing...(*_*)

BTW, Rameer you need to comment more often, I like that you think outside the box and are not afraid to express it!

oxtail said...

I agree with Ra, and Brooke what you are saying and how a lot of women and men behave on Valentine's Day are two different things. I have re-appropriated the day as Vadar Day.

For many, it's day that men get fleeced for love. A handful of couples actually have the right intentions behind it. I actually posted my V-day secon on FB yesterday http://www.whyihatethejoneses.com/2008/11/why-are-our-relationships-so-disastrous/#valentinesday

I commend you for making lemons out of lemonade, but you are among the few.

- Ox

Dennis Vargas said...

As they used to say back in the days. Use a Jim Hat!

Don't get caught out there. You just started dating dude.

Dennis Vargas said...

Yo Brookey Baby. I just started following your blog about a week ago when I saw you on the Ask The Black Man Blog. You got some good blog skills. Keep up the good work. I will be coming back here more often.

The random thurdays is bananas!

Holla at me on twitter.

One

Brooke said...

Hey Dennis, thanks! I will definitely find you. But Dennis, I'm lost :) Who are you addressing exactly about just meeting dude? I'm confused :) LOL!!

Ox, I'm going to check your post, I'm sure it's insightful!

And I agree Peggy...I think most people aren't fooled on Valentine's Day by receiving flowers or candy from someone who treats them like the bottom of their shoe the rest of the year.

Love is ongoing...

Brooke said...

Also, while we're loving today and all weekend, don't forget to say a prayer for those lost and affected by the plane crash that was heading from Newark to Buffalo. Perfect example of how tomorrow is not promised to you. Tell those you love that you love them EVERY day.

Amanda said...

Happy V-Day, Brooke! And I wish you the same and everyone else on here :-) LOVE!!!!! Muah!

Brooke said...

Happy Valentine's Day to you too Amanda! Love ya!

The Fury said...

Annamaria - If you let Salma Hayek breastfeed your child and it is a boy..he would thank you when he got older. LOL

The Black Cloud aka Andre - No jumping me in line for the movie, but if I get my own screening invite, you can have my spot...unless Brooke wants to spend time with me in a darkened theater (blush)

We obviously should express our love every day. My condolences to the families of those lost in Buffalo, NY.

There are so many ways to spice up the normal Valentine's Day. Do something different. As long as you're doing something together. Go feed the homeless together, take a run, hand make your card this year using all the little things you did in Kindergarten.

Hell, have a threesome, I'm sure there are plenty of single people that want to feel loved too. LOL

Latinegro said...

Fury...I think that is valentine's day that most men want!

Amanda said...

Rameer - Peach roses are absolutely beautiful! I love them! And I have gotten them, Homie :-)

Brooke said...

I've gotten peach roses too, many times. I've gotten lavender ones since everyone knows my favorite color is purple.

Great ideas Fury! And you and Dre will have to work out the movies, I'd sit in the dark with either one of you :) I may have something for your site soon...watch out for it!

Ant, you're crazy :)

Annamaria said...

1. I absolutely HATE & DESPISE roses!!! LOL
BUT I love me some Calla Lillies...LOL Austin is always fighting with the florists to make sure that I don't have roses in my arrangement! He sent me blood orange Calla lillies last year & they were absolutely gorgeous.
The Fury: If Salma breastfeeds my baby I will take pics & send them to you!! :)

Brooke said...

well damn, tell us how you really feel about roses :) what did they ever do to you! LOL!!

All this talk about breastfeeding other people's kids is skeeving me out just a bit... :-)

Annamaria said...

I don't know I have NEVER liked them. YET when I was younger an ex boyfriend ALWAYS sent me them! It used to annoy the crap out of me..lol

The Fury said...

Annamaria- If you can catch just the breasts, that's fine. The feeding part..isn't on my list of sexy things to watch. sweet and nurturing yes, sexy...nah.

Brooke - did you take a V day bath today? ;-) LOL

I've been partial to sending more exotic flowers. Roses are nice. Peach roses are pretty and if you've ever seen the really large Blood red roses, those things are incredible. Since roses are so popular on days like this, I agree a good Calla Lilly a pretty Gerber Daisy, Orchids are good options.

umm..Brooke you like those ideas huh...sounds like someone is planning on making a couple's V day extra special. LOL

Annamaria said...

Fury: I'll get the boobs for you don't worry!!!

Brooke: who you getting butt naked with tomorrow??? AM I GONNA GET MY FREE CABLE??? LMAO

Annamaria said...

See Austin took notes. I just got my valentine's day flowers. NO ROSES! :) lol

Brooke said...

I like the feed the homeless, take a run together ideas...not the threesome one :)

I'm not getting butt naked with anyone tomorrow...or any time soon for that matter :-) Guess you have to pay for your own cable! LOL!!

Blood red roses are gorgeous! My sister LOVES calla lillies...her favorite. I love tulips, plain and simple. Every morning when you look at them, they're facing or bending a different way...they seem to dance and have a life of their own.

Patti LaBelle just KILLED it on Oprah! Love her!

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