Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Today is one of those days I wish I had a guest blogger. My mind is all over the place today and I'm super busy and stressed at work, so I know I don't really have time to come up with a well thought out post. At least not the way I'd want it to come out anyway.
I'm up late chatting with my cousin...you know..."Snoop" :-)
She's asking me, "Where are all the Barack's?" A lot of women I know have pondered the same thing. I told her that this topic could piggyback off of yesterday's discussion. I don't want my blog to become a relationship blog - but hey, it's on my mind and that's what we were talking about. And since I don't have a guest (still waiting on that "Bitchassness" blog Rameer), you'll have to just flow with me.
"Snoop" asks, "where are the Barack's? Why do we get the leftovers?" By "leftovers" she specified men who had bad credit, 5 baby mamas, no education, have commitment issues, no relationship with their parents, no assets, don't want to think out the box, have ex-wife or ex-girlfriend drama, no place of their own, are gay, in jail, have no ambition, lack compassion, lie, cheat, are high maintenance, and have some bitchassness in them (Rameer....still waiting...)
These are all HER words y'all, not mine. Okay...the "bitchassness" part was me ;)
ANYWAY...my question back to her was..."well, are you a Michelle?"
Of course she said yes :-)
We women ALL think we're the "Michelle" to his "Barack." But is that really true? Can we HONESTLY say that if a "Barack" stepped to us in his fly blue suit and killer smile, charismatic personality and stunning genius, we'd be ready? Would a man like that even notice us? Would we be his reflection? Michelle Obama is a force to be reckoned with in her own right, so we see why Barack clings to her. We want that from our mate too. But can we ask for a "Barack" if we're not a "Michelle?" Be honest....
"Snoop" said, "well, there are more 'Michelle's' out here than 'Barack's.'"
Now that I kinda agree with. Not kinda...I do. That's a blog for a different day, as I don't have time to research the statistics right now...but I will. I DO know that the ratio of men to women is not as steep as we think it is. I read it was actually 80 men to every 100 women...for us - but I don't know how true that is. We start out by outnumbering you and then it goes downhill from there :)
Add to that staggering incarceration rates; we are enrolled in college more than you are and graduate from college more than you do; factor out gay men, DL men, baby daddys, commitment-phobes, and bitchass men (I think I just like saying "bitchass") and it gets downright sad . And we're assuming you want to be with US...which I think most of you do. We tend to look for our husbands in college, but the majority of you are not there with us. We look for you at work, but the majority are not there with us either. We want to marry YOU and tend to be loyal to our men. You have many more options, and EXERCISE those options. We tend not to (even though that's slowly changing). I could go on all day...
....see...told you I was all over the place. I digress...
My point is this. If the odds are stacked against us and there are only a handful of "Barack's" out there, make sure you ARE the "Michelle" to his "Barack." And let's be clear - I use "Michelle" because I'm addressing the women who are looking for "Barack." By "Barack" we mean his ideal. A good man. One that we would be proud to call our man. So when I say "Michelle," I mean the fabulous woman she embodies, in all her glory.
But what I'm really saying is be the best you. Be the Queen that you are. Be prepared to meet your King. There may not be enough Kings for every Queen, but stack the odds in your favor. Don't ask for what you are not. Because in that 80 men for every 100 women, I didn't say all 100 women were "Michelle's." We just ASSUMED they were.
And do you think Michelle would be just as fly WITHOUT Barack? Of course she would. So stop asking where the "Barack's" are. If you're a "Michelle," HE will find YOU.