Brookey's Cafe Blog

Happy Hump Day...even in this weather. I don't think I've ever wished for summer so hard this early in the winter. You know how by March, you can barely take it anymore and then spring gets here just as you're about to pull your hair out? Well, I feel like that NOW! but anyway...

...here's my REAL rant for today. Watch this clip - just the first minute or two:



Okay, I know "Brooke Dean" isn't the most ethnic sounding name in the world.....I know this.

If you see my name on a resume or an email, you might not guess that I'm a Black woman. I can form a sentence that has subject-verb agreement. I can string some words together that actually make sense. People understand the words that are coming out of my mouth. And even though I can be all jokey-joke with people at times when I may sound like Sarah Palin where I drop a "g" at the end of a word, trust me when I tell you I can speak proper English. Hell, it may not even be "proper"...it's really just STANDARD English. And dare I say, I have no accent...not even a "Philly" one.

Yet, when some people meet me for the first time after having only corresponded with me via email or over the phone, they always seem stunned to discover who I am.

"oh...YOU'RE Brooke Dean....uh....hello."

Then once they realize their ignorance is showing, they always try to cover it up by following with something ridiculous like, "oh...I thought you were...uh, SHORTER."

huh?

How does one sound..."short?"

But I've also gotten those who, in a drunken state at a premiere party, actually say it.

"oh...YOU'RE Brooke Dean? I thought you were White!"

(gasp!) did he just say?....yep, he sure did.

So I ask, "why did you think that?"

"I dunno, I guess because you sound white."

They say it like I deserve credit. And I'm talking about both White AND Black people.

What's funny to me is that I never heard that growing up. I attended a mostly White school all my life, all the way up through college. But it wasn't until my adulthood that I really began hearing people say that I "talk White." Isn't there something wrong with that picture? Should ADULTS be that ignorant? Even Ralph Nader accused Barack Obama of "talking White."

Once, a Black guy who worked in the mailroom asked me where I was from. I answered - Bensalem, PA, a suburb of Philadelphia. He said, "figured...you soundin' all white." Every day after that, he would ask me a question to see how "Black" I was.

"Yo, B...you know who Jay-Z is?"

My response? "uh..Marvin, you don't have to be Black to know who Jay-Z is."

That had him stumped for about an hour. Idiot.

Sure, I can throw some slang around for comic effect or emphasis sometimes. I understand some Ebonics. But just because I recognize that there is a time and a place for everything and I can communicate effectively on every level doesn't mean I am less Black than anyone else. I'm no less "down." I'm always surprised that some Black folks actually still think that way.

And for White folks, why would some of them be surprised I can speak and write at my education level. I mean...really?

It irks my nerves that speaking standard English is synonymous with "talking White." Bad grammar is common among many groups of people. Not Black people. Not Latino people. Not White people. But IGNORANT people.

I just walk away.

-b

Hey y'all!

Today is one of those days I wish I had a guest blogger. My mind is all over the place today and I'm super busy and stressed at work, so I know I don't really have time to come up with a well thought out post. At least not the way I'd want it to come out anyway.

I'm up late chatting with my cousin...you know..."Snoop" :-)

She's asking me, "Where are all the Barack's?" A lot of women I know have pondered the same thing. I told her that this topic could piggyback off of yesterday's discussion. I don't want my blog to become a relationship blog - but hey, it's on my mind and that's what we were talking about. And since I don't have a guest (still waiting on that "Bitchassness" blog Rameer), you'll have to just flow with me.

"Snoop" asks, "where are the Barack's? Why do we get the leftovers?" By "leftovers" she specified men who had bad credit, 5 baby mamas, no education, have commitment issues, no relationship with their parents, no assets, don't want to think out the box, have ex-wife or ex-girlfriend drama, no place of their own, are gay, in jail, have no ambition, lack compassion, lie, cheat, are high maintenance, and have some bitchassness in them (Rameer....still waiting...)

These are all HER words y'all, not mine. Okay...the "bitchassness" part was me ;)

ANYWAY...my question back to her was..."well, are you a Michelle?"

Of course she said yes :-)

We women ALL think we're the "Michelle" to his "Barack." But is that really true? Can we HONESTLY say that if a "Barack" stepped to us in his fly blue suit and killer smile, charismatic personality and stunning genius, we'd be ready? Would a man like that even notice us? Would we be his reflection? Michelle Obama is a force to be reckoned with in her own right, so we see why Barack clings to her. We want that from our mate too. But can we ask for a "Barack" if we're not a "Michelle?" Be honest....

"Snoop" said, "well, there are more 'Michelle's' out here than 'Barack's.'"

Now that I kinda agree with. Not kinda...I do. That's a blog for a different day, as I don't have time to research the statistics right now...but I will. I DO know that the ratio of men to women is not as steep as we think it is. I read it was actually 80 men to every 100 women...for us - but I don't know how true that is. We start out by outnumbering you and then it goes downhill from there :)

Add to that staggering incarceration rates; we are enrolled in college more than you are and graduate from college more than you do; factor out gay men, DL men, baby daddys, commitment-phobes, and bitchass men (I think I just like saying "bitchass") and it gets downright sad . And we're assuming you want to be with US...which I think most of you do. We tend to look for our husbands in college, but the majority of you are not there with us. We look for you at work, but the majority are not there with us either. We want to marry YOU and tend to be loyal to our men. You have many more options, and EXERCISE those options. We tend not to (even though that's slowly changing). I could go on all day...

....see...told you I was all over the place. I digress...

My point is this. If the odds are stacked against us and there are only a handful of "Barack's" out there, make sure you ARE the "Michelle" to his "Barack." And let's be clear - I use "Michelle" because I'm addressing the women who are looking for "Barack." By "Barack" we mean his ideal. A good man. One that we would be proud to call our man. So when I say "Michelle," I mean the fabulous woman she embodies, in all her glory.

But what I'm really saying is be the best you. Be the Queen that you are. Be prepared to meet your King. There may not be enough Kings for every Queen, but stack the odds in your favor. Don't ask for what you are not. Because in that 80 men for every 100 women, I didn't say all 100 women were "Michelle's." We just ASSUMED they were.

And do you think Michelle would be just as fly WITHOUT Barack? Of course she would. So stop asking where the "Barack's" are. If you're a "Michelle," HE will find YOU.

-b

Happy Hump Day!

It seems so strange to me that it's Wednesday already. These past couple of days have been an emotional whirlwind for me! First, it was a Monday filled with anticipation and reflection. Then yesterday, it was a Dream realized. I'm still high even though I'm exhausted today!

So many people from my job were off yesterday. Everyone is telling their stories of how they spent their day - how they were either in D.C. at one of the balls or sitting home watching the parade on their couch. It'll be one of those "where were you when?" moments that will be discussed and re-lived for years and years to come.

At first, as I was watching all the coverage of the people gathered down in the mall, I felt a twinge like, "man, I should have gone down there." But it quickly disappeared as Kyce and Ibrahim (my nephews) BOUNDED all around the living room screaming and clapping, "OBAMA! OBAMA!" In that moment, there was no place I'd rather be.



Would it have been great to meet people from around the country and around the world who came to witness this historic event in person? Absolutely. Would it have been great to stand arm and arm with folks who never thought this day would be possible? Of course. But as Kyce sat on my lap hanging onto Barack's every word, it hit me - this is exactly the way I was supposed to be witnessing history.

I didn't need pictures, and buttons and souvenirs. The best thing I got to take away from Inauguration Day was that, to my nephews, this was normal. Barack Obama was the first President they've seen being sworn in. A Black man, just like them. The most powerful man in the world is a man with an African name, just like theirs - he is THEIR President. What a sight to see - the glimmer in a child's eye - that he can be ANYTHING he wants to be in this world - whether he's Black or African or Muslim. Anything. This is all they know. Mini Obamas in the making.



I can't wait to see all the pics that my friends took in D.C. and hear all the amazing stories. If any of you have anything to share of your Inauguration Day experience, then please - let's hear it! As Pranny would say, "Spread Love!"

-b

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

Today isn't just the eve of the historic inauguration of President-Elect Barack Obama. It is the day we celebrate the life and contributions of one of our greatest Americans and champions of freedom and justice for not just people of color, but for ALL Americans.

Before Barack, he set the tone as one of our greatest orators of all time. This speech still gives me chills!



How appropriate that we celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on the eve of Barack Obama's inauguration. Dr. King was a prime example of how one man can bring about powerful change to a crippled nation. Our nation is weak at the knees once again, and in THIS time, the man to bring about change will be sworn in tomorrow. President-Elect Obama will call on all of us to make a difference, to serve our communities and to share a spirit of renewal for ourselves and our country. And there is no better day than today to open up that renewed spirit.

If you'd like to help Renew America Together - click on that link and sign up. The grassroots movement we helped build was always about more than an election. It's about bringing much needed change to Washington and our communities.

One more day til history! I was hoping to get down to D.C. for the inaugural festivities, but it just didn't work out that way. I will be following the coverage on CNN or ABC with my family in Philadelphia. If you'd like a breakdown of the 44th President Inauguration, go to that link to find all of the events leading up to and including the day of the inauguration.

So, what is everyone doing tomorrow? If you're around, let me know how you will be celebrating this amazing day in history! Now is the time!

-b