Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Happy Hump Day everyone!
So I'm contemplating writing an article for a magazine that focuses on one question - Would you mind if your man/woman was close friends with an ex? I've been thinking about this for a while now, so I wanted to get my blog family's thoughts on it...as my research.
Let me paint the picture.
Your man (or woman) calls an ex daily - sometimes several times a day....early morning, late night, and always contacts her when you're NOT around. You've never met this "friend" - all you know about her is that he used to have feelings for her, they may or may not have slept together (they did), and he feels the "friendship" is extremely important enough to him to not let it go, despite his current girlfriend's objections. So...what would you do?
Being friends with an ex for most people can be tricky. I have exes who are friends, but I use that term lightly. We don't hang out. We don't talk on the phone. At best, we might be Facebook friends. So is that really "friendship?"
My exes are exes for a reason. That's not to say I think they are bad people, or that they were bad boyfriends. It just didn't work out for one reason or another. But none of my exes are on a level with me where I still call them to confide any personal details of my life. I've moved on.
I know for some, ending a relationship can be painful...and depending on who did the breaking up, we might even feel guilty. The thought of never speaking to a person you once shared your body with, as well as any emotional connection, can be scary for some people because it means you have to move on - so they feel that holding on to a platonic relationship is better than losing that person completely. But at what point does holding on to your past cost you your future?
This is the part where I want you all to weigh in.
I know some of you need more information - like do the exes share children, did a betrayal occur, was the breakup amicable and mutual, or was one person blindsided? Are both parties still attracted to each other? What will the nature of the friendship be if you decide to remain friends? Will you still have bowling nights? Feel free to imagine any scenario.
So...what say you? Is it cool to remain friends with an ex, especially if you have a new boo in your life, or do you stay away from them and move on? Should your current boyfriend or girlfriend understand and not be insecure about your friendship with your ex, or should you do more to make sure he or she feels secure? Let's hear it!