Ever have one of those days where someone just pisses you off? That’s me today…and it’s been a few days in the making. The thing that really irks my nerves is when someone pisses you off, you react, and then they tell you to "calm down"…when they’re the reason you’re pissed off in the first place!
Excuse me, I'm having a "wooo-saaaa" moment.
I hate being angry. I hate being angry at work even more. I’m usually a very even-tempered person, and most people don’t get to see my angry side. So when I show it, I mean it. But even in that state, I try to “fight fair” and come up with a respectful response when someone tells me to calm down, even though my first inclination is to spit back a fiery “f*ck off!” But even with my new office, the walls are thin…so I need to restrain myself.
I don’t get upset over parking tickets, or when people cut me off in traffic. I usually just utter “asshole” and keep it moving. Sometimes I see people spazz out at Starbucks because the barista forgot to add a splash of soy milk to their overpriced coffee, or because their flight was delayed…and they just look….crazy.
That was probably me today yelling in my office. Crazy.
One of the things I hate about being angry and arguing is this: from the outside looking in, you simply look like an idiot. People can't relate to why you're angry if they don't know the details, and most likely, you don't get sympathy, you get the side eye. Like I said, it takes a lot to push my buttons, but when they’re pushed, it’s hard to “UN-push” them. Then an hour later, I’m pissed at MYSELF for allowing myself to get angry in the first place – especially when I KNOW that was the intended goal. Now I need a drink.
Which brings me to the second reason I hate being angry – some people just like pissing other people off. I try to avoid those people at all costs, but sometimes they creep up on you and next thing you know you’re ready to cut someone’s head off. I’m not talking about the person who cut you off in traffic and didn’t realize it because they have the music blasting. It happens, and while you’re sitting in your car flipping them off and cussing them out, they’re completely oblivious to it. But I’m not talking about that person.
I’m talking about the person who WANTS to upset you, maybe because they weren’t hugged enough as a child, and they want you to be just as miserable as they are. Yeah, THAT asshole. When I react to them, they’re getting exactly what they wanted, and that just makes me even MORE angry…at MYSELF. Being angry usually only hurts the host, not the person he or she is angry at. And I KNOW THIS....but damn it's hard to remember in a heated conversation!
If you really want to mess with someone who flips you off in traffic, try smiling and waving back, and watch the confused look on their face. Now, that may be harder to do with a boyfriend or your mother-in-law, but with time, you can even learn to appreciate and love these tortured people (bizarre I know) for the important role they serve in life: helping to remind you how NOT to live or behave. Don’t judge them, they are just at a different point in understanding life - just don't keep these people close.
Now that I’ve “calmed down” and taken my frustrations out in this post, I have to try to remind myself that in the midst of anger and "pissedoffedness", there is always something to be grateful for, and I should never let anyone take me out of my element again. From now on, I’ll simply walk away, or hang up the damn phone….or not answer it in the first place. My life is blessed, so why be angry?
Instead of being reactive, I should be proactive in ridding my life of all negative things and people who don’t have my best interest at heart. Of course there are going to be friends and family who get on your last nerve, and usually the people you care about are the one who hurt you the most. But at the end of the day, no one should be able to steal my joy, so that is something I need to work on…DAILY. There is too much good in the world to be angry and ungrateful. There is something good in every situation, and you can find it - even if it’s just that you’re grateful for the chance to practice being grateful.
How do you deal when something or someone pisses you off? I could use all your help today – pray for me!
Over the years, I've been blessed to have spent time with, befriend, love, learn from and share experiences with people who have helped me grow and inspire me everyday. They have shared words of wisdom, strengthened me with encouragement, gave me joy with a smile, comforted me with a hug, gave clarity to my visions and dreams and renewed my spirit with faith. It is through family and friends that I manage to be happy and hopeful.
These relationships work because we share our philosophies, our personal truths and an outlook that prompts us to seek something greater in all and in ourselves. Sharing a journey heartedly illuminates our lives and enriches our experiences. It keeps us moving....always evolving....ever changing.
I have been transformed by the wisdom, opinions, insights and revelations of those who have shared their journey with me. It's a blessing I long to share with you through my first ever blog. For me, writing is a reflection of my own direct experience and I look forward to all of you sharing your thoughts and experiences with me.
So...with that said....can I just say.....??? :-)