Tuesday, August 2, 2011
You should have known by the title that it was TMI Tuesday and that Fury was in the building - enjoy!
69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life...by The Fury.
When you woke up and rolled over this morning, did you see some "regular old crackers"? Are you three days, three months, three years, seven years or more in a relationship and thinking things have to get better because this gumbo has lost its spice?
Need some help spicing up your relationship?
Never fear. The Fury is here.
1) You first have to decide if your partner really wants to spice things up. If not, it won't matter. This kitchen needs two cooks. If both people aren't focused on the dish, it won't be successful.
2) Honest communication. It's time to share those deep, dark, filthy fetishes without judgement and then decide what you both feel comfortable doing.
3) Explore, push the envelope and go at it with reckless abandon!
A friend of mine decided she was ready to explore her freaky side with her new mate. One morning when he walked back into the bedroom after his morning shower, she was playing with her toy, well lubed and told him to give it to her...anally.
He was shocked, thrown off balance...and intrigued.
Another friend webcammed from work with her husband and proceeded to pleasure herself right then and there. She stopped before climax and instructed him that it was his job to finish it when they got home.
They never put their kids to bed faster.
Pushing the envelope works. Here's 69 ways you can do it:
1. Go to the sex club and watch...hell...participate!
2. Go to the strip club together
3. Strip for your man/woman at home
4. Give each other lap dances with a happy ending
5. Role play as soon as they walk in the door
6. Wear a sexy costume
7. Do that freaky thing you always fantasized about but were scared you'd be judged
8. Watch porn together
9. Give her/him some unprovoked, out of the blue, surprise head in the kitchen
10. Swallow for the first time...and enjoy it [or do a great job of acting as if you do]
11. Be gentle with her
12. Tease her
13. Give her/him a massage with a happy ending
14. Have sex in public
15. "Christen" every room in your place (both places if you live separately)
16. Dress. No panties. Let him see you/touch you in public
17. Try new positions. There are LOTS of them.
18. Have a threesome
19. Have a foursome
20. Have a fivesome (...get the picture?)
21. Have sex with all the lights on
22. Have sex with only candles lit
23. Have sex in pitch blackness with only your voices and bodies to tell the tale
24. Have anal sex
25. Titty f#ck
26. Ask for the facial if you really want it
27. Ask her if you can give her a facial if you really wanna try it
28. Record it, watch it together, have more sex, erase it...(ERASE IT!)
29. Record something for him/her
30. Do it with the music blasting
31. Send him sexy pictures while he's out with his boys
32. Send her a sexy picture while she's out with the girls (Don't show anyone those pictures)
33. Go to the spa together
34. Write a sexy story for each other and read them aloud
35. Exercise together
36. Cook for him/her wearing something sexy..or just an apron
37. Talk dirty during sex
38. Tell him/her how you want it...during
39. Spank her
40. Spank him
41. Whip him
42. Whip her
43. Tie her/him up
44. Blindfold her/him
45. Bring out the toys
46. Use her toy on her
47. Use his on toy him
48. Use her toy on him (no judging)
49. Let him watch you pleasure yourself
50. Let her watch you pleasure yourself
51. Mutual masturbation
52. Give him head during Sportscenter
53. Give her head during Basketball Wives
55. Read The Dirty Details together (shameless plug)
56. Have tipsy sex (wine is a wonderful de-inhibitor)
57. Rent a hotel and leave it a wreck from the wild sex you had
58. Have sex in a hard back chair
59. Have sex on a counter top
60. Have sex on a table (please don't break the table)
61. Give him head while driving (stay in the left lane, proceed with caution)
62. Digitally stimulate her while driving (see note above)
63. Flirt with another woman in front of him
64. Whip cream, honey, chocolate syrup, peanut butter...(that was not a recipe)
65. Baby oil, plastic sheets...(that was not a child care tip)
66. Use a toy on her while you're having sex
67. Lick her from the back
68. Lick him from the back
They call me The Fury and I suggest you print out this list and leave it on his/her pillow with your favorites circled.
- The Fury