Brookey's Cafe Blog

Happy Tuesday everyone!

This week might be a week of inspirational guest bloggers, as we have Part II to "Love Behind Closed Doors"...written - again - by our very own Serena Wills!

Dream on Dreamer...by Serena Wills.

I wrote this at first as one big story, but decided to split up "Love Behind Closed Doors" and this piece. As I'm learning about where to place my energy in regards to love, the same applies for dreams.

Some people might think a person got it made looking from the outside...but it probably took a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get there. It might look easy to some, but it's not. An example is the fact that I've been published 5 times to date and more to come. It looks great as people flip to a page of one of the books I'm in and see my poem and/or story. However, it took a lot of work behind closed doors to get it from my brain...to my laptop...to being published.

I'm learning that I'd rather put a lot of energy, time, money and thought into making my dreams work, getting my writing published, cafe going, business plan for a bed and breakfast, etc. than putting it into a person or thing that doesn't appreciate me and/or the gifts I have.

Watching relationships, and being in a couple that didn't go right, has taught me to be careful about who, what and where I pour energy into and where I just shouldn't make the investment. Investment in this case is personal or financial. This year - 2012 - needs to be a year of focusing on self, my son, dreams and those around me that truly appreciate who I am and will give that energy back to me.

I want people to see I'm working hard for my dreams, and even though it might look nice from the outside, behind closed doors I'm working hard to make it both personally and financially. Unless you want to put in the work from behind the scenes, then don't put on a facade from the outside like it was easy. Also give props to those that helped along the way too.

Some people want to learn...they are hungry and eager! And some...well...they think they know everything, and that to me blocks the learning process. Those are the people that I think "talk to dag gone much."

Ask yourself, are you a person that wants to learn all about your gift, craft, etc. OR are you a know it all? It's hard for people to come to that realization. I encourage each of you to keep learning, watch what and who you put your energy into and reach back to teach someone else. As my boy DMoe says, "Stay Thirsty My Friends"

Sincerely,
Serena Wills

Happy Monday everyone!

If you're looking to make a lifestyle change by eating healthier AND saving money, this is a must read! I had to share these great tips with my blog family - thanks to our guest blogger, Ms. Violet Reign!


Tips for Healthful Eating on a Budget...by Violet Reign

In this economic climate, we’re all struggling to find ways to make do with less. With food prices soaring, it can be difficult to find ways to stay on task with our budgetary goals while also eating healthfully. With careful and creative planning, you can prepare healthy meals on a budget. Let’s review some fundamentals for healthy eating:

■Limit alcohol – It slows down your metabolism and adds unnecessary calories

■Drink water –Aim for one ounce per pound of body weight, but at least 8 glasses per day

■Avoid foods with high salt and sugar content

■Avoid eating out – Do so as a treat. Eating out multiple times each week wrecks havoc on your diet and your wallet.

■Variety – Don’t be afraid to try new foods.


Try the following to save money without sacrificing nutrition:

1.Know what your body needs. Numerous meal-planning programs are available on the internet. Understand your body’s nutritional needs. Get a sense of the ratio of protein, carbohydrates and healthy fats in order to plan your meals effectively.

2.Set aside a few hours each week to plan, shop, and prepare your meals for the week. We tend to overeat when no plan is in place. Think ahead.

3.Search for recipe ideas. Try a new recipe each week to prevent boredom and give you something to look forward to.

4.Shop the perimeter of the grocery store. Here you will find healthy proteins, fresh fruits and vegetables, and most of your unprocessed foods.

5.Don’t buy pre-made meals – Too much convenience translates into more money leaving your wallet and extraordinary amounts of sodium. When in doubt, see step 1.

6.Buy foods in season or on sale- Eat fresh fruit and vegetables in season for optimal taste and nutrition. Prices on proteins like beef, chicken, and fish occur in cycles. Start tracking the trends at your store. When prices hit a low, stock up and freeze. Ask the manager about upcoming sales.

7.Make seasonings your friend. Curries, marinades in moderation, herbs and spices are great ways to add flavor to foods without adding calories.

8.Use self-checkout lines – This helps you avoid impulse buys such as last minute items to snack on - items not only blow your diet but stretch your budget. There is a reason why stores place the candy at the checkout.

9.Use cash– Have you ever noticed how money seems to leave your account whenever you use your trusty debit card? Most financial analysts agree that if you use cash, you have greater control over your budget and spend less.

Finally, as with any journey, remind yourself about your commitment to healthy eating as part of a lifestyle change. There will be ups and downs and times when you resort to old practices, however to get yourself through, think of the rewards – a healthier you – both physically and financially.

TGIF!!!

So...question of the day.

If you and your partner were heavily in debt, and saw no sign of relief, would you let your boo/significant other/spouse sleep with a wealthy person for $5 million dollars? Think Indecent Proposal...cash, tax-free.

If so, would you want to know the details? Or just "git dat money"!? Do you think your decision - either way - would have a negative impact on your relationship?

Let's go!

-b

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- So...Giants and Pats in the Super Bowl...who you got? Do you care?

- I have sticky wings for lunch!

- I want to go to Orlando for All Star Weekend - DMoe is going! Hook me up!

- He's also going to Mardi Gras and walking in a parade. He's living it up! Jealous!

- What is up with Demi Moore?

- I'm not gaining, but I'm not losing weight either. What up wit dat? need to step it up in my training sessions.

- Just had a taste for deviled eggs. Weird.

- My EVP just gave me gourmet chocolate drizzled caramel corn. Oh my...

- It's time for me to write my annual self assessment for my review. I've been here almost 9 years...how many different ways can I say I'm awesome and give me a fat raise?! :-)

- I love Lisa Ling.

- Shout out to Elimu on The Game!

- Okay...I need to hide this popcorn from myself.

- My desk is a wreck. I kill a lot of trees.

- These people from Kicksbaby are really f*ckin' with me about returning these sneakers. I'm about to go off.

- Any chance I can get out of this ticket? Court date on Monday...wish me well...or send me $130! LOL!

- Today's double throwback!





-b

So I'm contemplating writing an article for a magazine that focuses on one question - Would you mind if your man/woman was close friends with an ex? I've been thinking about this for a while now, so I wanted to get my blog family's thoughts on it...as my research.

Let me paint the picture.

Your man (or woman) calls an ex daily - sometimes several times a day....early morning, late night, and always contacts her when you're NOT around. You've never met this "friend" - all you know about her is that he used to have feelings for her, they may or may not have slept together (they did), and he feels the "friendship" is extremely important enough to him to not let it go, despite his current girlfriend's objections. So...what would you do?

Being friends with an ex for most people can be tricky. I have exes who are friends, but I use that term lightly. We don't hang out. We don't talk on the phone. At best, we might be Facebook friends. So is that really "friendship?"

My exes are exes for a reason. That's not to say I think they are bad people, or that they were bad boyfriends. It just didn't work out for one reason or another. But none of my exes are on a level with me where I still call them to confide any personal details of my life. I've moved on.

I know for some, ending a relationship can be painful...and depending on who did the breaking up, we might even feel guilty. The thought of never speaking to a person you once shared your body with, as well as any emotional connection, can be scary for some people because it means you have to move on - so they feel that holding on to a platonic relationship is better than losing that person completely. But at what point does holding on to your past cost you your future?

This is the part where I want you all to weigh in.

I know some of you need more information - like do the exes share children, did a betrayal occur, was the breakup amicable and mutual, or was one person blindsided? Are both parties still attracted to each other? What will the nature of the friendship be if you decide to remain friends? Will you still have bowling nights? Feel free to imagine any scenario.

So...what say you? Is it cool to remain friends with an ex, especially if you have a new boo in your life, or do you stay away from them and move on? Should your current boyfriend or girlfriend understand and not be insecure about your friendship with your ex, or should you do more to make sure he or she feels secure? Let's hear it!

-b

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- Gettin' cold out right? BRICK!

- been having a bit of writer's block lately.

- sushi for lunch twice this week so far, I have a new favorite place!

- can't wait til the weekend so I can just chill.

- January seems to be flying by to me...let's get winter over with!

- I'm terrified of going ice skating, but it looks like so much fun....if you can actually keep from falling. I have a fear of falling...especially on ice. I'm broke up enough as it is.

- The question of the day this morning on the radio was: "Is it ever okay to go through your man/woman's phone if you suspect they're cheating?" What say you?

- I want that "trendy top" thingy that I see on tv.

- Who's going to see Red Tails this weekend? I am...let's go support!

- I had a conversation last night with coworkers about supporting films with a majority black cast - should we automatically support..."just because?"

- Speaking of black - if you are a person of color (for example, of African/Caribbean descent), how do you prefer to be called..."Black" or "African American?" Some would argue that if you are American, then you shouldn't call yourself "African American" unless you were actually born and raised in Africa and then come to the United States..ala Charlize Theron. Do you care either way?

- My hat is on too tight, giving me a headache. My head must be getting bigger...cuz I doubt my hat shrunk.

- People think that because I adore my nephews, I'm maternal. It's not the same thing.

- How do you know if you're meant to be a parent? Still trying to figure that out.

- I need new clothes. I'm bored with my old ones.

- and a nice new lipstick.

This week's throwback!



Go!

-b