Brookey's Cafe Blog

I’m an incurable romantic. Maybe it’s the Pisces in me. Even having suffered heartbreaks that have brought me to my emotional knees, I stood back up and inevitably loved again. It should come as no surprise to anyone that I’m a sugary, sappy mess around Valentine’s Day.

So imagine my surprise when I discovered that my equally romantic, Pisces boo thang does not believe in celebrating Valentine’s Day.

Huh?

That threw me for a loop.

At first I thought he was rebelling against V-Day because it’s considered a “Hallmark” holiday where florists, greeting card companies and Godiva conspire to bankrupt us all in the name of love. I had a comeback ready for that until he informed me that he had done some research. He read that the holiday centered around the death of St. Valentine, so how could he celebrate something like that? My rebuttal against his research was simple – St. Valentine was martyred in the name of romance since it was believed that he was killed because he secretly performed marriages to young couples against the emperor’s wishes. That’s romantic right?

Not to him it wasn’t.

After going back and forth, he simply said “Why not show love every day, not just on February 14th?” I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that no flowers would appear on my desk on Valentine’s Day.

But is that so bad? Let’s face it – most men probably don’t believe in Valentine’s Day, but feel pressured to send flowers to their lady’s job out of obligation or the spirit of competition. After all, they don’t want their woman to appear “unloved” on Cupid’s Day.

But Valentine’s Day isn’t necessarily about love – it’s about romance. You can be romantic with someone you don’t love, and you can love someone without being romantic. Some women look forward to V-Day because it’s the only time of the year they can squeeze any kind of sentiment out of their non-romantic boyfriends. If that’s the push they need to hold their women over for a few months, is that so wrong?

While I agree that we should show the people we love that we appreciate them every day, how many of us can actually say that we do that…or feel appreciated in return? I can honestly say that I feel loved by my sweetheart daily simply by all the little things that he does, but not everyone is so lucky. Some compensate for their romantic shortcomings by flooding their lover with flowers, candy and gifts on V-Day in hopes that it’ll hold them over until their birthday. Is it lame? Yes, but wrong? Maybe not.

For others like me, February 14th is just another excuse to express our love for love and all things rosy – it’s as natural to us as breathing. Will it devastate me if I don’t receive a card, a single rose or a teddy bear? Of course not, because we are supposed to write poems, offer gifts and deliver flowers from the heart, without expecting anything in return.

The pink and fuzzy feeling we get should not be exclusive to Valentine’s Day, or birthdays or anniversaries. True romance, the notion of it, can’t be confined to one day, because true love isn’t fleeting. Sure, we can designate a holiday to celebrate the magnificent power and splendor of love; but to satisfy your romantic heart, we have to capture and hold tight to that intoxicating, crazy kind of feeling all year round.

So don’t just look to Valentine’s Day as your only opportunity to express how you feel, and don’t punish your boyfriend for boycotting that day if you know in your heart that he truly loves you. What’s worse, having a man who loves you, shows you he loves you but doesn’t celebrate a commercial holiday - or never having love ignite in your heart at all? The greatest thing you’ll ever know is to love and be loved in return. So celebrate that, every day, every sugary sappy moment of it – it’s the sweetest thing you’ll ever know.

-b