tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post6434947378366171236..comments2024-02-02T01:18:39.737-05:00Comments on Brookey's Cafe Blog: Dear Brookey...Wifey MaterialBrookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-43801912192111789042010-08-31T17:41:36.785-04:002010-08-31T17:41:36.785-04:00Awwww! Thank you, Stef! I always check the blog......Awwww! Thank you, Stef! I always check the blog...but lately, you guys say everything that can be said perfectly! <br /><br />I'm on vacation...but never not peeping the blog! =)Rameer The Circumstancenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-62051193526900906752010-08-31T17:23:29.626-04:002010-08-31T17:23:29.626-04:00Rameer, we missed you! :)Rameer, we missed you! :)Stefnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-2924302203972130272010-08-31T16:48:47.427-04:002010-08-31T16:48:47.427-04:00I wish I knew where all these cooking and cleaning...I wish I knew where all these cooking and cleaning women are - cuz I damn sure don't meet them. But at the same time, I don't expect a woman to do that for me. I'm capable of taking care of myself and cooking and cleaning are things I do everyday. Unless we're in a relationship, you don't have to prove that you're wifey material to me by feeding me, cuz I can do that for myself.<br /><br />If a man wants you to do all that for him and wait on him hand and foot like he's King Tut or something, yet he's not sure of you or if he wants to be in a relationship with you, then he's playing you. Period. I don't want a woman to be my mommy, I want her to be my woman. And if a man needs to be taken care of, then he's wack and a bitchass and not someone you should be wasting your energy on.Mr. Nice Guynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-56478556450277595122010-08-31T16:40:16.234-04:002010-08-31T16:40:16.234-04:00Just so people don't think I'm dipping out...Just so people don't think I'm dipping out on the blog - I've read the comments, and really have nothing to add. I agree with what Brooke-Ra initially said, and with many of the comments.<br /><br />I'm here...just have nothing to add...Rameer The Circumstancenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-70661256337626868332010-08-31T16:38:29.003-04:002010-08-31T16:38:29.003-04:00mmmm Brooke's cheesecake! lol It's funny ...mmmm Brooke's cheesecake! lol It's funny because I was just having a similar conversation with my brother the other day. If you know what kind of woman you are and what you are capable of putting into a relationship, before you throw out all the stops you have to make sure the guy is worth it. It's a two way street. Sometimes you have to let him show you what he can and will do for you before you go cooking and cleaning for him. Some guys I know seem to expect the "wifey" treatment but don't want you to actually be their woman. Sorry...You'll be waiting a long time for that if you aren't my man or if I can tell that we are definitely not headed in that direction.Monicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-91630568406238843902010-08-31T16:32:54.779-04:002010-08-31T16:32:54.779-04:00I'm still trying to figure out where "Gro...I'm still trying to figure out where "Grown" was going with the "Single Independent Women" comment. This blog isn't about being single or independent. It's about the qualities a man (or woman) might be looking for in a spouse and the things some of us are willing to do to get it. I thought that was a bit to the left.Stefnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-33982183767142906722010-08-31T16:30:44.910-04:002010-08-31T16:30:44.910-04:00Well said Brooke.
I agree, most women do this to ...Well said Brooke.<br /><br />I agree, most women do this to get a man, not because it comes naturally to them. I know how to cook and clean, but when you live alone, it's not always the first thing on your mind. For some women, that side of them doesn't come out until it's required, like when you live with someone else and when you have a family. You almost HAVE to cook when you have kids, and a husband. But if you have a man who loves to cook, then that's not a trait a woman has to have. Some men couldn't care less if a woman can cook or not. It's all case by case.<br /><br />You can't assume that cooking and cleaning is the way to a man's heart. He has to WANT to be in a reiationship with you outside of those things. If this guy is giving you mixed signals and doesn't want to commit, then save your "wifey" traits for someone who wants to wife YOU. Don't waste it on someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.Courtneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-54170182404046518292010-08-31T15:38:56.455-04:002010-08-31T15:38:56.455-04:00Thanks Annamaria :-)Thanks Annamaria :-)Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-34310599268253889972010-08-31T14:20:25.689-04:002010-08-31T14:20:25.689-04:00AND SHE MAKES SLAMMIN CHEESECAKE... :)AND SHE MAKES SLAMMIN CHEESECAKE... :)Annamarianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-62685797368459295392010-08-31T14:19:16.200-04:002010-08-31T14:19:16.200-04:00@Grown,
I am a person who is naturally nurturing,...@Grown,<br /><br />I am a person who is naturally nurturing, which is why I said I had to learn when to turn it on and turn it off. I'm the person who's always willing to cook dinner, or help you fold your laundry, etc. But I've found that a lot of men like that, but that doesn't mean they like "you" like that. And it's not just cooking and cleaning, it's sex, it's time, energy, all that. They want to reap the benefits of what a relationship would bring without being in a real relationship.<br /><br />Therefore, I had to learn when to show my nurturing side, and who to show it to. When it comes naturally to you, it's easy to be taken advantage of, because some people take advantge of others that way...sometimes without even knowing it. The only way to avoid feeling used or taken advantage of is by being careful not to go overboard, and you definitely shouldn't place your worth on these things. <br /><br />Like anonymous said - you don't have to cook for a man or clean his house for him to see those traits in you. Most people who know me know that I cook for myself almost everyday, and they've been to my place - so they can tell what kind of place I keep. If it's up to their "wifey" standards, then cool...but if not, keep it movin.Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-40785177375013032602010-08-31T14:12:42.930-04:002010-08-31T14:12:42.930-04:00@Grown...
If it's part of her whole makeup it&...@Grown...<br />If it's part of her whole makeup it's still NOT cool if 6 months down the line he's gonna be like oh by the way you know we just friends right....lol<br /><br />I mean they definitely need to sit & have a conversation about what is going on. And until then stop the bullish & let him call Merry Maids. OR pay her ass cuz there is a recession going on out there. <br /><br /><br />Men before you answer think about your daughters. Would u want her out there cooking, Cleaning & boning some dude who's just sitting back chillin & doesn't even like her like that????Annamarianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-31619518855444343462010-08-31T14:10:51.908-04:002010-08-31T14:10:51.908-04:00The fact that she said he wants to be in a relatio...The fact that she said he wants to be in a relationship, but hasn't said "with her" is the real issue - and she knows it. She's feeling played because she's bending over backwards for a guy that doesn't want to wife her. She should let him loose, because you don't have to "convince" a man to be with you. Either he will be or he won't. If she's trying to convince him that she's wifey by doing all this cooking and cleaning, that means the shit doesn't come naturally to her and she's frontin. Like Fury said, she'll probably stop doing all that stuff after she gets the ring. She needs to keep her own house clean and cook her own food for HER, not some man. If she does it naturally, he'll see it, not because she does it for HIM, but because she does it for HERSELF.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-31553004463121643222010-08-31T14:06:19.884-04:002010-08-31T14:06:19.884-04:00@ Brooke: If she is doing it because that's p...@ Brooke: If she is doing it because that's part of her whole makeup - cool. However, if it is just a front then I agree with majority.Grownblknfocusedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01916879921070812960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-27086857749764420822010-08-31T14:04:08.011-04:002010-08-31T14:04:08.011-04:00@Grown,
I have no problem with people who are nat...@Grown,<br /><br />I have no problem with people who are naturally nurturing (and sorry, didn't realize I was ranting?)...but what I find with some women is they do all of these things, not because it comes naturally - but because they think that's what a man wants and they do it to manipulate a man into being with her. She's trying to "show" him she's a catch. If these are things she does naturally, she wouldn't be worrying about the commitment - she'd just be cooking and cleaning because she wants to. She's questioning it because she's getting tired of doing these things for a man that's not her man...which means she's not just some everyday Martha Stewart/Rachel Ray.<br /><br />No one is asking her to change - I'm saying stop trying to prove your worth by trying to be a wife before you've had a real discussion about what you both want the relationship to go.Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-58194961499153019812010-08-31T13:57:53.132-04:002010-08-31T13:57:53.132-04:00@Stef,
I think it varies depending on what the ma...@Stef,<br /><br />I think it varies depending on what the man wants. Maybe these men that are with women who can't cook or clean are men who love to cook and clean. Maybe they both don't want children, so cooking and keeping a clean house aren't high on their priority list. Some messy people are just drawn to other messy people :)<br /><br />A man usually wants to be with someone who won't bore him. Sex is also important, even though we won't like to admit it. They want a woman who they can be proud of, who is slightly smarter than he is and who he feels comfortable with and who allows him to be himself and relax when he gets home from a rough day. <br /><br />I guess I should say these are things I look for, so I won't try to speak for all men.<br /><br />Good advice Brooke, and good luck to "Wifey Material" cuz she's gonna be sad when dude bounces once she stops catering to him. Mark my words.Jaynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-19775374687540564272010-08-31T13:55:54.384-04:002010-08-31T13:55:54.384-04:00I wish Wifey Material the best of luck. If he can&...I wish Wifey Material the best of luck. If he can't see you for who you are and vice versa as I know men get the blues from women in regards to showing their true selves and they don't want to commit but you do...then bounce. Life is too short.<br /> <br />BUT...my question though is did they have a for real...for real real convo about the level they want to take it too or that she wants to go too...Serena W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08899725312118622702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-17941740329012115732010-08-31T13:55:39.449-04:002010-08-31T13:55:39.449-04:00Why the rant? Some women are naturally nurishing l...Why the rant? Some women are naturally nurishing like that, then let it be. She shouldn't change because you're not like her.<br /><br />Here's the issue with most "SINGLE INDEPENDENT WOMEN" and then they wonder why they are SINGLE - see real talk youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AdRs5fEy-kGrownblknfocusedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01916879921070812960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-11487753097210223272010-08-31T13:50:56.946-04:002010-08-31T13:50:56.946-04:00@Cable Guy,
Shut up! That is all.
I'm curiou...@Cable Guy,<br /><br />Shut up! That is all.<br /><br />I'm curious to hear what the men on the blog consider "wifey" material myself. Like Ms. Penn said, I know plenty of women in relationships who can't cook or clean yet they have men who love them to death, so wondering what some other traits are.Stefnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-71929130995489933332010-08-31T13:47:06.828-04:002010-08-31T13:47:06.828-04:00@Stef - It was a joke in reference to your "W...@Stef - It was a joke in reference to your "Where did Fury Come From!?" comment.<br /><br />You're right it was not even 1%. I agree with Brookey and I want this lady to stop being caretaker and maid for him.The Furyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145614924246887651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-11634926535416324982010-08-31T13:46:10.399-04:002010-08-31T13:46:10.399-04:00Now Now...no need to be upset Stef, I'm sure i...Now Now...no need to be upset Stef, I'm sure it was all in good fun. We've teased you about the headboard before, lighten up :)<br /><br />As for the blog, good advice. Most men appreciate a women who can cook and clean, but that shouldn't be all she has to offer and that's not what really attracts a man. He considers those things a plus, but he shouldn't want a woman to take care of him unless he's a trifling ass man who can't take care of himself. <br /><br />I don't mind cooking and cleaning for my woman, but she has to be MY woman, just as this man should be HER man to be doing all this stuff. He's using her. She should stop and see what he does - then she'll know for sure if he's really feeling her or just in it to get the free grub and clean drawz.The Cable Guynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-39344592637745918832010-08-31T13:38:26.752-04:002010-08-31T13:38:26.752-04:00Okay, fine...but was the headboard thing really ne...Okay, fine...but was the headboard thing really necessary? Can't we have a discussion without personal jabs, all you had to do was clarify your point. I get it now, I didn't need the headboard comment to understand.Stefnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-8091012810966982732010-08-31T13:34:59.506-04:002010-08-31T13:34:59.506-04:00@Stef - Dammit i didn't know I had to quote he...@Stef - Dammit i didn't know I had to quote her to disagree with one (actually less) percent of what she said.<br /><br />Ok here goes..and I quote:<br /><br />"I've found that if a man genuinely likes you, then your cooking and cleaning abilities won't really matter that much... <br /><br />....but if he's really feeling you, those are things he can learn to work around."<br /><br />I agree she shouldn't be doing all that ish for this dude. I just personally like cleanly people. Same goes for him. His place needs to be cleaned up. She shouldn't walk in his bathroom and feel the need to hover over the bowl so she doesn't touch it.The Furyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145614924246887651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-83195878467498632452010-08-31T13:32:41.672-04:002010-08-31T13:32:41.672-04:00@Fury,
What was that whole headboard thing suppos...@Fury,<br /><br />What was that whole headboard thing supposed to mean?? ALL I did was point out that she never said a woman shouldn't be able to cook and clean, so there was really no 1% to disagree with her on. Geesh!<br /><br />That was personal and not very cool.Stefnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-80543063483536186732010-08-31T13:31:38.746-04:002010-08-31T13:31:38.746-04:00@Ms. Penn,
I hate the "you're too good f...@Ms. Penn,<br /><br />I hate the "you're too good for me" comment - or better yet, the<br />"you INTIMIDATE me" line. How does that even make sense? If you truly thought I was too good for you, then you wouldn't be with me, and if I truly intimidated you, I wouldn't know it...because you'd be too intimidated by me to actually TELL me that I intimidate you. It's all game...and bullsh*t. <br /><br />If a man wants you, he wants you - just like you said. Nothing will stop him.<br /><br />@Fury,<br /><br />I don't know this person, but I'm sure she'll get tired of acting like the maid and chef eventually too - especially with no commitment in sight.Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-9070348941219172272010-08-31T13:27:17.679-04:002010-08-31T13:27:17.679-04:00@Stef - The headboard store was closed so I came s...@Stef - The headboard store was closed so I came straight over.<br /><br />@Ms. Penn - That pick up the slack ish gets real tired real quick. <br /><br />I know my man Mr. Fantastic has been picking up after Sue Storm forever because whenever it comes time to clean up she vanishes. And really he will too when he gets tired of doing more for her than him. <br /><br />Brooke's friend will get tired of doing more for him and eventually leave...<br /><br />..but damn that sex must be good...The Furyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145614924246887651noreply@blogger.com