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Czas menopauzy natomiast nie znamionuje gwoli p³ci pieknej katastrofy i powinno siê z ni¹ siê zmierzyæ.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-91924425446423184122011-06-15T08:58:21.744-04:002011-06-15T08:58:21.744-04:00I never thought I would agree with this option.I never thought I would agree with this option.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-36196838874696538072009-10-23T20:04:12.589-04:002009-10-23T20:04:12.589-04:00What's up people? Finally got some time to com...What's up people? Finally got some time to comment. On the original site where this was posted they are past 4,000 hits and I think 60 comments so clearly it's a Pandora's box that no one has openly addressed. I didn't expect the outbursts it caused at all. For whatever reason I got attacked on the original site by a few people, by men for stating that if I couldn't maintain a Facebook account with my wife then I was doomed to fail in real life (?!!!) and what I thought was VERY interesting is that the perfect (and very judgmental) men and women who were comfortable in being FB friends with their spouses (mostly women) felt the need proudly proclaim that neither they nor their spouses had anything to hide. Funny thing is that I never mentioned anything about having to hide anything or needing to have my own space in this piece. In fact the exact opposite is true of Facebook, the place is completely transparent. Nor to I suggest I was wrong for being on Facebook with their partner. <br /><br />Here's the deal, plain and simple: for me it was becoming a distraction. If I put up a real generic status because I was pissed about something that happened at home my wife would call me up at work and curse me out because she was able to read between the lines. If some dude she went to grade school with made some sideways comment about one of her pictures or one of my kids' pictures (regarding her being sexy whatever) I don't care if they guy is in Alaska or not it annoyed me. Why? Because I'm a guy and guys know guys. And it's one thing to accept that these harmless infractions happen to the woman you love when she's not in your presence. It's another to see it up on the Internet and some joker with a stupid profile picture stating it. And so on and so on. Now here's what in my humble opinion would be ridiculous: demanding my wife get off Facebook because I can't handle her FB friendships. Never in a million years would I consider something so stupid. And it really isn't that serious. <br /><br />Here's the deal folks: I knew my wife long before Facebook existed and our relationship can never be defined by it, but during a very rough patch in our journey it was getting in the way and since we were arguing about everything under the sun I decided I didn't need or want to add Facebook to the pile. And it was my decision as a grown man to do better because I knew better. The wife was initially caught off guard, but now she thinks it's funny and has gotten a kick out of discussing this piece with me and her girlfriends. From what she tells me this post has gone viral. She herself even posted it to her FB page, but told me I couldn't see it because we weren't friends. We both laughed. I didn't mean to overshare, but here is my bottom line --- because I don't take Facebook seriously I wasn't willing to allow it to become a serious point of contention between my wife and I so (as I learned in church) if something that you have control over is becoming a cancer in your life, you simply cut it out, this goes for friends and certain extra curricular activities as well. The devil is always in disguise and most would be wise to not dismiss him even in the silliest of circumstances cuz that when he tears you apart. I didn't cut my wife off, I cut off the stupidness (and a bunch of other non-FB stuff) that was getting between us. Now it's all good. Besides as so many commenters have stated, it's not for everyone so if it works, God Bless you, if it doesn't then it just...doesn't. No biggie. It should be okay for everyone to do what they need to do to succeed in their own lives in accordance with their particular situations.<br /><br />The week-long response to this piece has been great. Thanks to all of you for allowing me to share.<br /><br />Peace.E.Paynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10528770883222243631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-70296757257607070652009-10-23T17:49:19.288-04:002009-10-23T17:49:19.288-04:00@anonymous... that is the realest of talk!!!!! I w...@anonymous... that is the realest of talk!!!!! I would love to think I got my feelings in check all the time and I'm mad secure. Uhhhhh not sooo much!Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16426322462620415403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-17994446989211329302009-10-23T17:48:50.561-04:002009-10-23T17:48:50.561-04:00Not every relationship in your past is a bad one t...Not every relationship in your past is a bad one that needs to eliminated. I have exes on my FB page as well some who read my blog - and some of their wives read my blog. We were friends before we dated, so we can be friends after so long as we don't cross any lines.<br /><br />I have no desire to disrespect any of my exes who are friends, and they're not doing anything to disrespect t themselves either. <br /><br />I like the whole Demi, Ashton and Bruce thing. If they have to interact anyway, might as well be mature about it.Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-78861035602898040072009-10-23T16:56:43.282-04:002009-10-23T16:56:43.282-04:00Annamaria,
Lol... when I see them all on the red ...Annamaria,<br /><br />Lol... when I see them all on the red carpet together, that just looks crazy to me too!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-89214045716409426332009-10-23T16:52:14.904-04:002009-10-23T16:52:14.904-04:00Cableguy,
I hear everything that you said, but th...Cableguy,<br /><br />I hear everything that you said, but this isn't some random chick that I am dating, that is my wife! I believe in the whole don't ask don't tell policy but this is a woman I respect and love and didn't and still don't think I should keep secrets from! We only human...we all gonna be curious about our spouse's past and eventually the shit gonna come up! It is as certain as death and taxes! I won't even label that as a woman thing! It's just human nature to be curious about your spouse and what helps shape them to be who and what they are! Real Talk!<br /><br />FBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-48397869830075298102009-10-23T16:46:37.227-04:002009-10-23T16:46:37.227-04:00I have NOOOO desire to be like Bruce, Demi or Asht...I have NOOOO desire to be like Bruce, Demi or Ashton. I like being Annamaria. That shit is just not the norm where I come from so therefore not interested. If that's a flaw then that's a flaw that my man can either accept or reject but its not going to change.annamarianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-83812402153148836392009-10-23T16:38:59.485-04:002009-10-23T16:38:59.485-04:00Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em, thanks for the ...Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em, thanks for the education! Annamaria, why get upset over the past? She is my wife..that is my ex-girl! Marriage is about trust and respect. She should know that I wouldn't do anything to violate or lose that!<br /><br />I would also like to add that my ex is engaged to be married to another guy! <br /><br />Why can't we all be like Demi, Bruce and Ashton? That shit only looks weird because we don't understand it! LOL<br /><br />FBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-29463579164380486052009-10-23T16:22:06.533-04:002009-10-23T16:22:06.533-04:00You guys are WAAAAYYYYY more open minded than I am...You guys are WAAAAYYYYY more open minded than I am. I would definitely have a problem with Austin's exes being friends. NOW I don't have a problem with him having female friends as long as they respect but I would definitely have a problem with exes. BUT I wouldn't expect him to put up with it either unlike anonymous girl. Not because of trust issues but what happened in the past should stay in the past & we don't need constant reminders of it either. Learn from it & move on.annamarianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-48617042440440765892009-10-23T16:09:30.187-04:002009-10-23T16:09:30.187-04:00Uh Anonymous.. Pretty Ricky What dey Call'em.
...Uh Anonymous.. Pretty Ricky What dey Call'em.<br /><br />LOL... I've benn waiting to say that for weeks! LOLPretty Ricky What Dey Call'emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16426322462620415403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-56685596494051652172009-10-23T15:51:53.451-04:002009-10-23T15:51:53.451-04:00Brooke and Ricky,
Thanks for the feedback!
FBBrooke and Ricky,<br /><br />Thanks for the feedback!<br /><br />FBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-63094553508097356122009-10-23T15:51:38.480-04:002009-10-23T15:51:38.480-04:00sorry anonymous. I won't call you a punk, but ...sorry anonymous. I won't call you a punk, but I definitely think that was some bullshit. Basically she told you she doesn't trust you without really saying it. What is she mad at? Did this ex kill y'all's cat or something? Why does she have an issue with HER? Is it because y'all dated for 10 years? She thinks y'all will hook up in "cyber space"? that's wack!<br /><br />this is the main reason I don't tell anyone I'm dating about any exes of mine. Don't ask, don't tell. I don't wanna know who YOU dated and you don't need to know who I dated - unless it was a friend or sister of yours or something. Other than that, keep that ish to yourself. This way, what I don't know won't hurt me, and what's supposed to be in the past is simply that - the past!The Cable Guynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-67382447013020261382009-10-23T15:42:17.767-04:002009-10-23T15:42:17.767-04:00To answer anonymous' question - I don't th...To answer anonymous' question - I don't think you were a punk per se, but it does raise the question of if there's a double standard in your relationship. <br /><br />Why does she believe that SHE is perfectly capable of maintaining platonic relations with HER exes, but you're not capable of doing the same thing? What does accepting a friend request from your ex signify to HER? That's the part I question. Does she trust YOU?<br /><br />Of course some battles aren't worth fighting, so if deleting your ex keeps the peace in the house, then fine. But that could possibly build resentment, because look how you feel now? Violated and powerless. Over time, that'll build up and spill over into the what the REAL issue is: TRUST. <br /><br />Either she trusts you or she doesn't. And again, the ones who say hi to you all out in the open on your wall on FB are usually the LAST ones you need to worry about. If a person has it in their mind to do wrong, they're going to- FB account or not. All FB does is create another POSSIBLE venue to act it out. <br /><br />I've had guy friends who told me they couldn't be friends with me because their new girlfriend doesn't like her man having female friends. Despite having been friends for YEARS before he even met this girl, I've had many a male friend cut me off, only to find out they broke up or divorced later due to trust issues. If you don't trust your man or your woman, say THAT...don't make them delete exes on FB without saying what the reason is. Most people think admitting insecurities is weak, but I say it's honest. I think E was honest with his feelings, and that to me is what I think alot of people fail to do - tell the truth.Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-73402518591581620702009-10-23T14:32:19.111-04:002009-10-23T14:32:19.111-04:00Here's another aspect of all this:
1. Puttin...Here's another aspect of all this: <br /><br />1. Putting comments on people's wall to smear them or cause controversy is just plain old "high school." And, to that point, I got a few friends who have suffered that fate on alumni group sites, FB and myspace. <br /><br />Considering the fact that I have coworkers sprinkled throughout my friends on FB, I take discretion very seriously and operate with a zero-foolishness-tolerance policy. <br /><br />If you clown, you've violated me, and your not a friend. neither in that world or the real one. <br /><br />The bottom line is, that's just wack. But - if the fiance' in question wasn't a "friend" on FB, she wouldn't have been afforded the opportunity to do something silly. So, going all the way back to Annamaria's stance (and I respect it completely) <br /><br />-but Maybe E realizes that before somebody does something stupid, let's just draw the line...I think that was the point. He obviously has some idea of what he or his woman "might" be capable of when having a fit about FB. Hey, if she gets mad enough, she might hack into his account and post foolish things. Oops. Too late.<br /><br />DMoeDMoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15121073476554198739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-71027253096703714962009-10-23T14:32:10.336-04:002009-10-23T14:32:10.336-04:00Anonymous... I think you did the right thing. If y...Anonymous... I think you did the right thing. If you having your ex-girlfriend bothers your wife that much..then by all means take her off. When it comes down to it... what's more importnat... your marriage or your ex-girlfriend. But you just found one of your wife's insecurities! That's all.<br /><br />A marriage counselor once said... the whole "but you have your ex-boyfriends on your page and I don't say anything" bit does not apply in a relationship. Just because you don't get mad about it doesn't mean she shouldn't and vice versa!Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16426322462620415403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-41383810485658588722009-10-23T14:14:57.600-04:002009-10-23T14:14:57.600-04:00I'm not married, but I think that having your ...I'm not married, but I think that having your SO as a friend somewhat limits what you can say and what can be said to you--simply out of respect for your partner, who may be reading. Harmless flirtation can EASILY be misinterpreted online. I have a friend who's wife broke off their engagement because of a comment that a high school girlfriend left on facebook. I knew before he did though--because his status suddenly changed to, "(His name) is a triflin a$$ negro that likes to hook up with ex-girlfriends-the wedding is off". His profile was gone from facebook the next day, and soon after, she made him change his number as well. While this is a special case (his wife is/was an insecure woman that won't allow him to have female friends, gets mad when he spends time with his friends and doesn't invite her--that kind of thing), it isn't isolated. I'm all for anything that preserves a relationship and promotes sanity. In my opinion, defriending your SO, even though it seems like a negative action--is one of those things.THATgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09485806776624523957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-5844253876726130292009-10-23T14:06:00.414-04:002009-10-23T14:06:00.414-04:00I would like every one's opinion on the follow...I would like every one's opinion on the following. My wife and I both have Facebook accounts. Her friends include a couple of past boyfriends. I don't care really OR even have an opinion about her having the ex's as friends, everyone has a past. Conversely, I have an ex that I dated for about 10 years. Recently my ex sent a friend invitation to me and I accepted. My wife went into a tizzy when I accepted my ex's friend request which eventually resulted in her deleting me from her friends list. Isn't that a double standard? I must accept her having her ex's as friends but I must not communicate with my ex. I have since deleted my ex from my friends list just to keep the peace...I mean she is my wife and I want to respect her feelings! But now, why do I feel so violated and powerless? In fairness she has offered to delete her two ex's from her Facbook account but again her having ex's as Facebook friends doesn't bother me in the least bit.<br /><br />Am I being a punk? How should I address this matter?<br /><br />Thanks.<br /><br />FBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-77739695174464844802009-10-23T13:55:26.181-04:002009-10-23T13:55:26.181-04:00I think I am actually torn on this one. I defintel...I think I am actually torn on this one. I defintely agree with annamaria... if something bothers your body you find a way to fix and resolve it. Not saying that you cater to them... but you guys are partners. So for him to just take her off... not even caring how she feels about it was kinda wrong.<br /><br />However... I do agree that he knows his weakness and he acted upon it. I have a little insecure streak as well. I know if you tell me about all your past boyfriends, I'm gonna have issues if they are around in any capacity at all. So don't tell me about them. I know you have a past that,s good enough. We'll just work on our future!Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16426322462620415403noreply@blogger.com