tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post5650962426626395017..comments2024-02-02T01:18:39.737-05:00Comments on Brookey's Cafe Blog: Dear Brookey...Shacking Up?Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-69690105420261231342010-07-07T23:47:19.438-04:002010-07-07T23:47:19.438-04:00I know this post is late - however, it is still wo...I know this post is late - however, it is still worth posting. <br /><br />Many people shack up quickly after meeting. It works for some and others it does not. Your reader should evaluate what her deal breakers are for certain situations and then poise them to the guy that she is dating and see what he thinks and what his deal breakers are well to see if these are things that she can live with. <br /><br />In addition she should do the following:<br /> <br />1 - make sure he has good credit and is currently paying his rent ON TIME<br />2. go on vacation with him to see if she can stand being around him for a lengthy period of time<br />3. work out a contingency plan in case they move in but the relationship fails<br />4. meet his family<br />5. discuss her goals for the relationship - are you thinking of marrying me or living with me to save money<br /> <br />After going through the list above she will have a better feel for how to move forward.<br /><br />Best Regards, <br /><br />CuzBledsoenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-44939537044101192382010-06-30T13:15:42.287-04:002010-06-30T13:15:42.287-04:00dont do it! 6 months - 1year is the standard bliss...dont do it! 6 months - 1year is the standard bliss season for any relationship....see what happens in the second year and then maybe third year if marriage is in talks...naw..just wait.lol...it's your booooooy!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-28838010389026564472010-06-29T22:16:48.084-04:002010-06-29T22:16:48.084-04:00I'm crazy late! Sorry everyone. I agree with t...I'm crazy late! Sorry everyone. I agree with the blog. Either wait it out to see what he's about OR have a rock hard plan in place.<br /><br />I've shacked up twice and needless to say it didn't work for me.<br /><br />It takes more than vacation. You gotta ask your self, "is he spiritually in tune with me? Am I with him? How does he treat his mother? The women in his family? Do we have the same goals in mind? Where do we each see each other in 5 years."<br /><br />These are all questions to consider.<br /><br />Now I'm at a peaceful place and steadily healing from the loss of my mother. I made a vow to myself to not settle any more. If Mom were here she'd say the same thing.<br /><br />I know I'm not ready for a relationship. Between healing, praying, trying to pick up the pieces...I'm not ready.<br /><br />I say all of that to say that some people don't even know whether they are ready or not and if they don't and you shack up with them it can turn into a disaster.<br /><br />My 5 cents at 10:15pm lol. Take your time, get a part time if you need too and enjoy learning about one another.Serena W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08899725312118622702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-3577400656640084812010-06-29T18:18:44.813-04:002010-06-29T18:18:44.813-04:00Great story Ms. Penn...it sounds to me like they r...Great story Ms. Penn...it sounds to me like they really used their heads in that situation, and managed their expectations beautifully. Good for them!Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-17838206599651144362010-06-29T18:16:09.856-04:002010-06-29T18:16:09.856-04:00I have a friend who was in a similar situation, bu...I have a friend who was in a similar situation, but they decided to live together SPECIFICALLY to save money. They both knew it would be temporary if the relationship didn't work out, but if it DID work out, then they would stick with it. <br /><br />It was very business-like at first. Her lease was up at around the time they'd be dating for about 4 months. Plans fell thru the cracks with the place she was going to move to, so she was scrambling to find a place. She needed to save a little more money to get an apartment since the ones she was looking at were more expensive. The guy she was seeing had a HUGE apartment with the bare essentials in it, so he offered to let her stay there while she looked and saved money and allowed and to move her stuff in rather than putting it in storage. <br /><br />She was skeptical at first even though they had been really hitting it off. They drew up a plan, set a time limit and then decided that if things didn't work out in that time limit, they'd continue as roommates until she could move out.<br /><br />They made a financial plan as well, split bills, and they both banked the money they were saving from their arrangement. She continued to look for places to live, but their relationship was blossoming the entire time. I think because they sat down and discussed expectations and guidelines, they developed a new level of respect for one another. And they still continued to "date" each other while living together and getting to know each other. <br /><br />They are now engaged and have lived together for 2 years. They're using the money they saved for the wedding. It CAN happen, but just make sure that you're honest about the reasons you're moving in together and keep the lines of communication open.Ms. Pennnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-21096561156817578842010-06-29T18:06:37.292-04:002010-06-29T18:06:37.292-04:00you need to do a few things first - IF you DO deci...you need to do a few things first - IF you DO decide to do it. <br /> <br />1 - make sure he has good credit and is currently paying his rent ON TIME<br /><br />2. go on vacation with him to see if you can stand being around him for a long period of time<br /><br />3. work out a contingency plan in case they move in but the relationship fails<br /><br />4. meet his family<br /><br />5. discuss your goals for the relationship - are you thinking of marrying me or living with me to save money?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-89535889745086088852010-06-29T18:04:22.206-04:002010-06-29T18:04:22.206-04:00That nukka just wants an XBox! Leave that joker al...That nukka just wants an XBox! Leave that joker alone! LOL!<br /><br />It takes alot to share space with someone, I don't care HOW much you love each other. Give it some time just so you're sure...cuz moving out is a BITCH! Trust me, I know!<br /><br />If you both are doing well financially alone, then keep things the way they are. I know it's hard out here, but nothing is worth all the headache of breaking up and looking for a place all over again. Stay put and keep your eyes open with this dude.The Cable Guynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-6539435101046775022010-06-29T17:17:20.319-04:002010-06-29T17:17:20.319-04:00I lived with someone once and it was a disaster. W...I lived with someone once and it was a disaster. We thought because we were all lovey dovey that we'd make good "roommmates" - which is exactly what we became. Tell dude to get a part-time job to help with the bills...not YOU! In my case, we never discussed expectations, our future or marriage. Like Ant said, after the passion wore off and the realities of everyday life kicked in, we discovered that we barely liked each other, let alone loved each other. Moving out is the WORST! Don't do it til you get engaged!Stefnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-7279708882772721832010-06-29T17:15:04.572-04:002010-06-29T17:15:04.572-04:00maybe she wants to buy an XBox :)maybe she wants to buy an XBox :)Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-3529691808327546132010-06-29T17:13:09.434-04:002010-06-29T17:13:09.434-04:00Meh. Long story that basically amounts to "no...Meh. Long story that basically amounts to "not gonna happen". I actually was more in-line to do it than she was at one point, but then my common sense kicked in for many of the reasons you wrote. Now she's kind of hinting at it strongly...no. Things are fine as is, and I'm not gonna rush into anything crazy. <br /><br />Suffice to say - your blog is well-timed.Rameer The Circumstancenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-77612605345859817442010-06-29T16:51:31.819-04:002010-06-29T16:51:31.819-04:00Rameer, your girl wants you two to live together? ...Rameer, your girl wants you two to live together? Let's hear THAT story :-)Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584160320846679744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-80818460521371935372010-06-29T16:50:20.123-04:002010-06-29T16:50:20.123-04:00I don't think there's much more that needs...I don't think there's much more that needs to be said. While I know you don't truly know someone til you live with them, I agree with Fury that you shouldn't take the step until you're on the verge of getting engaged and close to marriage and had that "talk." If you weren't in the picture, would dude still be worried about saving money? If not, then moving in for "practical reasons" shouldn't be his motivation to live with you - commitment and planning a future should be.Jaynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-54353819686578802672010-06-29T16:17:30.570-04:002010-06-29T16:17:30.570-04:00Hell to the No!!! Don't do it girlfriend. As m...Hell to the No!!! Don't do it girlfriend. As my granpa use to say why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Unless you are on the verge of marriage get a roomate. As the fury said if a breakup happens it could get messy.Whose home do you choose yours or his? If you break up does the other person HAVE to move out?There are to many ?'s that could cause you unnessary heartache.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-7706935998359487972010-06-29T15:52:36.839-04:002010-06-29T15:52:36.839-04:00Dude sounds like he's trying to stack paper (*...Dude sounds like he's trying to stack paper (*ya'll like my BK speak, don'tcha*). He sounds very fishy to me and his reasons don't come from a place of love.Yolandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12522625214853436462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-74358821460842419582010-06-29T15:50:51.329-04:002010-06-29T15:50:51.329-04:00THANK YOU for posting this, Brooke-Ra.
The issue ...THANK YOU for posting this, Brooke-Ra.<br /><br />The issue recently came up in my situation. I WILL be showing this blog to my girl tonight.Rameer The Circumstancenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-38396690811282244612010-06-29T15:35:52.483-04:002010-06-29T15:35:52.483-04:00She shouldn't even consider it until they'...She shouldn't even consider it until they're engaged and planning a wedding. Living together is not only a big jump in commitment and trust, but very messy if the breakup happens. They'd be better off getting roommates like Latinegro said.The Furyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145614924246887651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-11999496046945581732010-06-29T15:31:54.056-04:002010-06-29T15:31:54.056-04:00That chick needs to wait. 6 months is way too soon...That chick needs to wait. 6 months is way too soon. The relationship will then become one of eventual convenience instead of attraction.<br /><br />Trust me...I know.Anthony Oterohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05818411014851299966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-61754690634357022932010-06-29T15:28:26.165-04:002010-06-29T15:28:26.165-04:00Don't live together right now. Those are not r...Don't live together right now. Those are not reasons to live with your boyfriend. Those are reasons to get a roommate. See where the relationship goes.Annamarianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984100112542285026.post-85804077886364036522010-06-29T15:24:35.520-04:002010-06-29T15:24:35.520-04:00first bitches!!!!first bitches!!!!Anthony Oterohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05818411014851299966noreply@blogger.com