Friday, August 26, 2011
So when news broke of the rumored breakup of Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith, black folk around the world were heard with a collective “NOOOOO! Say it ain’t so!”
Personally, I didn’t believe it, and I tend not to lend much weight to gossip rags. I can’t say that I would have been devastated, and most people wouldn’t have been surprised by the news at all given that they are indeed a Hollywood couple. But those of us who love us some Will and Jada might have been saddened by the news…if not heartbroken.
As soon as the rumor broke, people wanted to know why, how, what happened, and whose fault it was. Speculation ensued and topics of discussion quickly turned to their sex life – which has been a subject of interest with these two for years now.
Both have been rumored to be bisexual, or to use each other as “beards” for their individual homosexuality. Other rumors have been that they’re swingers, or share an open marriage. None of it has been proven or substantiated - but hey, it’s their business right?
But it DID make me wonder about something – if a couple DID have an open marriage or relationship – is that a sign that the relationship needs help, a recipe for disaster, or is it the modern couple’s answer to infidelity?
Some say a polyamorous relationship, when discussed openly with everyone on board, spares all involved the hurt and disappointment of cheating. However, others disagree, saying this type of arrangement may seem all good at first, but really it’s a recipe for hurt, disappointment, jealousy and breakups.
So the question of the day is this: Is welcoming another person(s) into your bed and your marriage a ticking time bomb waiting to explode? Is it genius? Or are you of the mindset of live and let live?
Personally, I don’t see an open relationship as something I’d ever consider. If I wanted the freedom to love and have sex with anyone I wanted, and he were to do the same, I see no point in being in a relationship at all or getting married period. But that’s just me. What say you?
Would you ever consider engaging in an open relationship? Have you ever tried it? If so, what were or would your ground rules be, if any?
Go!
-b
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!
- Meetings again all day today...zzzzzzz.
- If someone doesn't appreciate you, let them go. Life is too short...and there is always someone out there who WILL appreciate you.
- Dreary day...hurricane is coming! Anyone planning on getting flooded in this weekend with their boo? ;)
- My office is cold...and I don't even have the air on. I wonder if there's a way I can turn on the heat!
- My office chair sucks too.
- Had yogurt for breakfast and now my stomach is touching my back. Can't wait to get lunch today - what to eat?
- Please leave the Pinkett-Smiths alone.
- Steve Jobs steps down...
- Everyone got all weirded out feeling the tremor of the earthquake in VA up here in NY. Not that deep people.
- I need some new music.
- Weezy can't hold a candle to Jay...not even close. And I can't stand it when the ONLY thing fools can say about Jigga is that he's "old." He's only getting better with age...and anyone who thinks Weezy can come even remotely CLOSE to Jay lyrically is a clown. Yeah...I said it!
- The "Beats, Rhymes and Life" doc on A Tribe Called Quest is still showing down town for those who still haven't seen it. It's a must-see for any hip hop fan.
- I always wear the wrong clothes when it rains.
- In the mood to buy shoes...or boots. Take your pick.
- This week is draggin' ass.
- RIP Aaliyah...can't believe she's been gone so long.
-b
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Ever have one of those days where someone just pisses you off? That’s me today…and it’s been a few days in the making. The thing that really irks my nerves is when someone pisses you off, you react, and then they tell you to "calm down"…when they’re the reason you’re pissed off in the first place!
Excuse me, I'm having a "wooo-saaaa" moment.
I hate being angry. I hate being angry at work even more. I’m usually a very even-tempered person, and most people don’t get to see my angry side. So when I show it, I mean it. But even in that state, I try to “fight fair” and come up with a respectful response when someone tells me to calm down, even though my first inclination is to spit back a fiery “f*ck off!” But even with my new office, the walls are thin…so I need to restrain myself.
I don’t get upset over parking tickets, or when people cut me off in traffic. I usually just utter “asshole” and keep it moving. Sometimes I see people spazz out at Starbucks because the barista forgot to add a splash of soy milk to their overpriced coffee, or because their flight was delayed…and they just look….crazy.
That was probably me today yelling in my office. Crazy.
One of the things I hate about being angry and arguing is this: from the outside looking in, you simply look like an idiot. People can't relate to why you're angry if they don't know the details, and most likely, you don't get sympathy, you get the side eye. Like I said, it takes a lot to push my buttons, but when they’re pushed, it’s hard to “UN-push” them. Then an hour later, I’m pissed at MYSELF for allowing myself to get angry in the first place – especially when I KNOW that was the intended goal. Now I need a drink.
Which brings me to the second reason I hate being angry – some people just like pissing other people off. I try to avoid those people at all costs, but sometimes they creep up on you and next thing you know you’re ready to cut someone’s head off. I’m not talking about the person who cut you off in traffic and didn’t realize it because they have the music blasting. It happens, and while you’re sitting in your car flipping them off and cussing them out, they’re completely oblivious to it. But I’m not talking about that person.
I’m talking about the person who WANTS to upset you, maybe because they weren’t hugged enough as a child, and they want you to be just as miserable as they are. Yeah, THAT asshole. When I react to them, they’re getting exactly what they wanted, and that just makes me even MORE angry…at MYSELF. Being angry usually only hurts the host, not the person he or she is angry at. And I KNOW THIS....but damn it's hard to remember in a heated conversation!
If you really want to mess with someone who flips you off in traffic, try smiling and waving back, and watch the confused look on their face. Now, that may be harder to do with a boyfriend or your mother-in-law, but with time, you can even learn to appreciate and love these tortured people (bizarre I know) for the important role they serve in life: helping to remind you how NOT to live or behave. Don’t judge them, they are just at a different point in understanding life - just don't keep these people close.
Now that I’ve “calmed down” and taken my frustrations out in this post, I have to try to remind myself that in the midst of anger and "pissedoffedness", there is always something to be grateful for, and I should never let anyone take me out of my element again. From now on, I’ll simply walk away, or hang up the damn phone….or not answer it in the first place. My life is blessed, so why be angry?
Instead of being reactive, I should be proactive in ridding my life of all negative things and people who don’t have my best interest at heart. Of course there are going to be friends and family who get on your last nerve, and usually the people you care about are the one who hurt you the most. But at the end of the day, no one should be able to steal my joy, so that is something I need to work on…DAILY. There is too much good in the world to be angry and ungrateful. There is something good in every situation, and you can find it - even if it’s just that you’re grateful for the chance to practice being grateful.
How do you deal when something or someone pisses you off? I could use all your help today – pray for me!
-b
Monday, August 22, 2011
Happy Monday!
I'm trying to get myself situated in my new digs at work - I have a brand new office that I'm totally in love with! At first I thought I wouldn't have time to blog AND unpack, but a compromise would be to ask a question of the day...so here it goes!
This topic came up over the weekend, so I'll pose the question to you all today. What are your dating/relationship deal breakers?
Personally, addictions, abuse (verbal or physical), selfishness, infidelity and lying are at the top of my list. Those are usually at the top of MOST people's lists, although I'm sure exceptions can be made in some cases and everyone is different.
The list doesn't have to be that serious, heavy, light or detailed, but I'm curious to see what you all have to say: bad breath, he's too short, she's too tall, you have different religious beliefs, he or she is too messy or have children or multiple marriages. Let's hear it - what are your dating/relationship deal breakers?
I won't date him/her if _____________
Go!
-b
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!
- I've been working and packing my office for our big move tomorrow, so sorry I haven't written all week. I miss you guys!
- At least I'm off tomorrow! woo-hoo!
- Hopefully it doesn't rain all day tomorrow though - today's dank weather is a downer.
- My "stepson" Dante is here and has all the women in my office in a tizzy over his "winning smile." Pretty boy :)
- It's meeting after meeting today!
- I'm so happy football is back! Gotta get on the phone with Meer Cat to figure out this draft.
- The sun looks like it's trying to come out now....good!
- what's for lunch?
- Basketball Wives LA starts on the 29th and I have no desire to watch even though I watch the current one. I can only kill but so many brain cells.
- Serena just bbm'd me that she's going thru Brooke Blog withdrawal....awww! It's coming!
- Why am I watching the Jamie Foxx Show on BET? Shows you what kind of morning I'm having.
- Out of all the things the movers are handling from my office, I'm most worried about my plants. I've managed to keep them alive and thriving for months now - so proud of myself!
- I need one more beach day before Labor Day...just one!
- Time to take the braids out. Looking kinda fuzzy...just a lil bit.
- Tempted to cut all my hair off for the winter. Makes wearing a skully that much easier :)
- Wish I could rock a natural like Yolanda, Monica, Princess and Tanisha, but I don't have the head for it.
- I hope I get to keep my HBO in the new building.
- Today's throwback!
Trailer provided by Video Detective
Go!
-b
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!
- It's almost mid August already...where is the summer going?
- Got my mani/pedi yesterday...feeling kinda pretty :)
- I want ice cream...won't do it though.....maybe ;)
- I wish I had the patience to wear my hair natural...and a nice shaped head :)
- Finally got my cell phone working again...but the batter SUCKS!
- My apartment is a sweat box as soon as I turn the air off. My electric bill is gonna be RIDICULOUS.
- I've also been getting headaches from all the heat, then AC, then heat again, then AC. I can't take it.
- I need to get the complete dvd set of The Wire and watch it. I only watched the first season on HBO...don't shoot me.
- So many summer movies I still haven't seen.
- Rameer, I still owe you a call to talk football!
- Can someone send me the new Jill Scott cd? Please and thank you :-)
- And while you're at it, can someone front me a Jay Z/K West concert ticket?
- I miss my family over in Morocco. It's about time they come home now :)
- Acting like a jerk to me doesn't win you any cool points.
- This week is too long. I need a break...looking forward to the weekend.
- I think I owe Annamaria a sexy story for her blog too. Tony and Domina*Tricks can go first :-)
- TV One is airing Dave Chappelle's Block Party on Saturday. Rock out!
- It feels good to be loved :-)
- Navy Seals killed this past week - so sad. Please remember to keep those fighting for our country in your prayers, whether you think they should be fighting or not. This war is still very real. We appreciate you.
- I give better hugs than Tanisha :-)
- Would kill for a breakfast sandwich right now! But alas, it's time for my meeting.
- This week's throwback courtesy of Big Giant!
Go!
-b
So the lovely Ms. Tanisha and I were having a discussion at work and somehow we got on the subject of the “p” word. I think we were talking about personal grooming when Tanisha referred to it as a “twaticus.” Don’t ask me if I spelled that correctly, as I’ve never heard that term used for a vagina in my life. It gave me a chuckle, mainly because it sounded more like the name of an ancient dinosaur than female genitalia. She said she also calls it “snacks,” “goodies” and “poon poon.”
Personally, I’ve never really liked the “p” word. I have a hard time even typing it. The word “pussy” always seemed so crass to me. I’m not offended by it, I don’t think it’s demeaning (unless you’re referring to man…cuz then it takes on a different meaning), but I’ve just never liked it. I had to get used to writing it for my sexy Brooklyn stories, but saying it is an entirely different thing for me. I’m not much of a “dirty talker,” but I’ve said it when asked of me in the heat of the moment. It just doesn’t roll off my tongue.
Pussy. Five letters. Each letter by itself is harmless, no impact. But put them together and I cringe. It’s a slightly vulgar term to me, just like cock, cunt, f*ck (another word I have a hard time using when referring to the act of sexual intercourse…even though, sometimes, f*cking is the only way to describe what you’re doing….but I digress). I put the “p” word in the category of words I’d never ever say in front of my mother – not that I go around using the word “vagina” all willy nilly around her either. I just don’t understand why the word bothers me so much.
I’m a open person when it comes to sexuality, as many of you know about me by now. Human sexuality is a wonderful, natural thing, and to suppress that is unhealthy. Our bodies were designed to work a certain way, and to claim that sexuality or desire is wrong when it involves two consenting adults would be to deny the very purpose of our anatomy and biology. The human body is a wonderful thing and I don’t think there is anything wrong with discussing it in any way. I’m not ashamed of the word when describing female genitalia because I don't understand how anyone could be so ashamed of something so beautiful. It just simply isn’t a “beautiful” word to me.
So am I the only one? Is it just me seeming "prudish" - even though I’m not? And to be fair, I’m not that fond of the word “dick” either when referring to male genitalia – although I don’t have ANY problem saying it when someone is ACTING like a dick. Go figure.
Call me a sucker for textbook terminology, but that’s just the way I was raised. My mother always used the proper terms for our private parts, and it stuck with me I guess. Like I said, it doesn’t offend me when I hear other people say it, but there are just some words that you’d have to yank out of my mouth if you ever want to hear me say them. I know the “P” word may be sexier and evoke more passion, but for me, it’s a bad word.
So, that being said – what do YOU call your private parts? Any favorite slang terms for it? Va-jay-jay, kitty kat, or as Martin Lawrence called it in Boomerang…"the TWIZZOD!” Actually, that may be worse! LOL!
Let’s hear it! But please try to keep it tasteful – it’s not TMI Tuesday :-)
Go!
About Me
- Brooke
- Over the years, I've been blessed to have spent time with, befriend, love, learn from and share experiences with people who have helped me grow and inspire me everyday. They have shared words of wisdom, strengthened me with encouragement, gave me joy with a smile, comforted me with a hug, gave clarity to my visions and dreams and renewed my spirit with faith. It is through family and friends that I manage to be happy and hopeful. These relationships work because we share our philosophies, our personal truths and an outlook that prompts us to seek something greater in all and in ourselves. Sharing a journey heartedly illuminates our lives and enriches our experiences. It keeps us moving....always evolving....ever changing. I have been transformed by the wisdom, opinions, insights and revelations of those who have shared their journey with me. It's a blessing I long to share with you through my first ever blog. For me, writing is a reflection of my own direct experience and I look forward to all of you sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. So...with that said....can I just say.....??? :-)
My Blog List
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Subway Stories11 years ago
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Wordless Wednesday: The Vendor11 years ago
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Volume 2 (My Last Blog Post...on here)12 years ago
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