Brookey's Cafe Blog

TGIF!

Sexy Survey time!

1. Would you (or your partner) consider kissing someone else cheating?

2. You are insanely physically attracted to your boss, the chemistry is mutual. One day you and the boss are working late on a project, and he/she comes on to you in his/her office. What do you do?

3. Name a sexy movie and tell us why you think it's sexy.

4. You and your spouse have been unsuccessfully struggling to have a child for some time and today is one of the year's 12 peak days for conception. If you two were in the middle of a nasty fight, would you still go ahead and have sex anyway?

5. Would you rather have a passionate relationship with someone you have very little in common with, or would you rather feel little passion for that person, but share common interests and beliefs?

Go!

-b

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- If I never see snow ever again, it'll be too soon. For a minute I thought I was back in Syracuse this morning! This snow is for the birds man...or the penguins...or polar bears...or something!

- At least I have a lunch screening today so I don't have to go out to get food :-)

- I'm sure by now you've all heard about Kelley Williams-Bolar, the woman who was sent to jail in Akron, OH for sending her kids to the wrong district. If you’d like to help her and make the broader and important point about educational inequality in America, please take the time to send a short note of concern to the state representatives in the area. The information is below:

For Summit County (the county that Akron is in) the state representatives are:

Lynn Slaby (Republican): district41@ohr.state.oh.us
Kristina Roegner (Republican): district42@ohr.state.oh.us
Todd McKenney (Republican): district43@ohr.state.oh.us
Vernon Sykes: district44@ohr.state.oh.us

http://www.house.state.oh.us/index.php?option=com_displaymembers&task=detail&district=44
Zack Milkovich (Democrat): district45@ohr.state.oh.us

House members website: http://www.house.state.oh.us/index.php?option=com_displaymembers&Itemid=73
The state senator for that area is Frank LaRose (Republican): SD27@senate.state.oh.us
Senate members website: http://click.icptrack.com/icp/relay.php?r=16663573&msgid=349363&act=AEWR&c=242394&destination=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ohiosenate.gov%2Fdirectory.html

Also, change.org is doing a petition on behalf of Kelly, which I also encourage you to sign. This story is ridiculous.

- I love Dr. Oz!

- Every time I see a commercial for $3 check cashing at Walmart, I wonder who these people are that don't have checking accounts. I don't mean to be ignorant, but what would be a reason to NOT have a checking account? Someone please break it down for me.

- I saw women commuting to work today in heels...in slushy, icy, snowy conditions. There's not that much "fashion sense" in the world.

- Lil Wayne has ANOTHER kid? Geesh!

- They added another show for Janet Jackson at Radio City Music Hall. Why are they messin' with me!?

- Speaking of a Jackson, Rebbie Jackson is on The View. Where has SHE been all this time? "And it's crawling like a Centipede!"

- I bought adult "gummy" multi-vitamins and I love them! I feel like a little kid though in the morning every time I take them :-)

- I'm over Life Cinnamon cereal now...back to my Honey Bunches of Oats and Special K Vanilla Almond cereal!

- I tried the McDonald's oatmeal because everyone was raving about it. It was good, very filling, but it wasn't crack! I think maple brown sugar cream of wheat is better :-)

- I'm praying for motivation to go to the gym tonight. Weather like this just makes you want to go home, cuddle on the couch and eat in front of the tv. But I'm gonna do it!

- I love surprising my sister with gifts. She's an awesome sister, wife and mother - she deserves it :-)

- Brian's throwback of the week!



Go!

-b

Happy Hump Day!

Speaking of humping, do you all think that sex with no strings is doable? Particularly for women? I know...I just jumped right into the question of the day, but I pondered this myself based off the new movie No Strings Attached - take a look:



Now, I haven't seen the movie, but based off of that trailer, Natalie Portman seems to find it easier to have casual sex than Ashton Kutcher's character. While I DO think that men and women both can have satisfying casual sex, I don't think that men and women view, relate to, or respond to sex the same way.

Call me old fashioned, or not as "evolved," but I honestly, truly do NOT believe that women can have sex like men. I just believe that it goes against nature - that's not how we're wired. In scientific terms, "The way chemicals are released in the brain during intercourse is very different in men and women. In women, oxytocin is released. It's a chemical that makes women want to nurture their young and stay close. Men get a huge jolt of testosterone, which suppresses oxytocin, and that's nature's way of saying, "Leave the nest and go sire offspring somewhere else." So when women think they can have sex and walk away just like guys do, they're having to suppress thousands of years of evolution that tells them to cuddle, stay in bed, and look forward to tomorrow. When they get up and walk out, they feel depressed and don't know why." - cited in Marie Claire Magazine.

I agree with that wholeheartedly. That's not to say that I don't know any women who haven't had purely casual, non-emotional sex before. I know it can be done - I just don't think it can be done on a regular basis before someone (usually the woman) starts catching feelings. I almost feel that if a woman is to TRULY have casual, no-strings-attached sex with a man on a consistent basis, she almost has to not like him or respect him. That way, she will probably never really fall for him...maybe. But it's kinda hard to have sex for some women with men they don't actually like.

I know that sounds extreme, but I have yet to meet a women who has proven me wrong. I have friends who swear that they're "just kickin' it" with some dude - that they're just having fun and having sex and they KNOW nothing more will ever develop between them and their man toy.....only to profess their love for said man after 2 months, or come crying to me later when they realize he's in a "real" relationship with another woman that they actually love. Trust me, I've seen it happen over and over again...and it's not pretty.

But let's just say for the sake of argument that a woman CAN have no-strings-attached sex with a man - that doesn't necessarily mean that she SHOULD. I'm no prude, but I often wonder why a woman (or man) would choose this over trying to have a real connection with someone. I know some folks have commitment issues, or lead very busy lives where a committed relationship wouldn't be feasible, but what is wrong with having great sex AND great love? Can't you have both?

Trust me, I've been in phases where sex was all I could muster, but even in those phases, I felt kind of lonely. I'd much rather cuddle with my cat than try to cuddle with a man only to fulfill some fleeting need. While I believe that women should be as sexually free as men, I don't think that necessarily means random hookups, having a f*ck buddy or friends with benefits. I know that sounds "preachy" and disapproving, but I find that many women who think they're capable of this are lying to themselves. If you can be honest about what you're doing, and do it in a smart, cognizant and responsible way, then go forth young lady...and carry condoms. But if you're doing it fill an emotional void, then you're doomed. All this "think like a man, act like a man while still being a woman" is confusing enough as it is - don't sell yourself short for a quick fix or a cheap thrill. Great sex AND great love can be had - if you want it.

What say you?

Go!

-b

TGIF like a MUGGG!!

This week seemed to last forever!

And I'm tired of snow.

But anyway...

Do any of you watch the ABC News show "What Would You Do?" It airs on Friday nights, and here is a glimpse of tonight's episode:



Which leads me to the question of the day: What would YOU do if your son wanted to play with Barbie/baby dolls?

We don't seem to think much of it if a little girl wanted to play with a Tonka truck or Hot Wheels cars, but if your son/nephew/grandson asked you to buy him a Barbie Doll, the social stigma would be much greater. Even my nephews seem to inherently know that "pink stuff is for girls" and "blue stuff is for boys."

To take it step further, what if your son wanted to dress up as a Princess? Do you allow him to express himself freely, or do you force him to wear pants and tell him that dresses are for girls?

What would YOU do?

-b

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- So I'm watching The View and they have 2 women on who have "Superior Autobiographical Memory" - meaning they can remember every day of their life. I think that would drive me insane.

- Keep saying prayers for my cat Cole, please!

- I have spaghetti for lunch but I don't want it.

- Did I hear correctly? The Eagles are looking at Plaxico Burress?

- I hope the Jets pull it out this weekend! I like Rex Ryan...freaky foot fetish and all :-)

- Is anyone having a Super Bowl party?

- Just had a craving for McDonalds....where did THAT come from?

- I need to drink more water. My lips are dry. Not cute.

- I feel like shopping.

- Michelle Obama is SO FLY!

- Ninety girls are pregnant or have had babies in the school year at Memphis High School. One of the teen mothers said on the Today Show that some girls "think it's cute." da hell?!

- Did you all see the video of the woman falling into a mall fountain because she was walking and texting?



She has the nerve to want to sue the mall because she's humiliated and said that security should have done more to help her. Like what? Escort her through the mall so she doesn't fall or walk into something she shouldn't? Girl...stop it. Watch where you're going and put the phone away.

- I actually watched American Idol last nigt...and even teared up a couple of times during a few of their sob stories. SuSu made me watch, but doubt I'll watch the entire season. Did you like the new judges?

- I miss my family back in Philly :(

- Time to do my annual performance review at work. I just want to write "see last year" and get it over with. Just give me a fat raise.

- Brian's throwback!



Go!

-b

I didn’t really kiss a girl, but I knew that would pique your interest :-)

My blog topic today was inspired in part by my addiction to Witches Brew, and listening to the radio this AM. The morning talent on Power 105 was discussing the girl kiss shared by Amber Rose and Rosa Acosta. In case you missed it, here it is. Fellas, you can thank me later :-)



Now, according to Amber, she’s in love with Whiz Khalifa (whoever that is…I must NOT be in the know)…so what’s up with this kiss?

Maybe that was just a “this is my homegirl and we’re both pretty” kiss. That can happen right? Although I’ve never kissed any of MY girlfriends that way, I suppose one could view this as an innocent smooch.

But men seem to think it’s hot :-)

Amber Rose is admittedly bisexual, so she’s free to kiss anyone - regardless of gender. But word on the street is “girls kissing girls” is a new hetero trend – mainly done to attract men.

A new trend? Girls kissing girls? Nooo waaaay! Really???

It seems this has been happening since MY college days, so it’s not really THAT new. I guess we just haven’t seen it as much as we see it now. I mean, back in MY day (I feel old saying that), most women simply "danced suggestively” together in order to get a guy’s attention. You were performing for the pleasure of an audience – but boys still ruled and they loved you for it.

Now it seems that dirty dancing has been replaced by the sexy smack - some girl on girl action.

It could be that this is a safe way for some “real” lesbians to slowly explore their sexuality in public. Some say it’s copycat behavior by heterosexual women who were in a drunken state when they kissed a girl, or who want to “see what it’s like.”

Then some say it’s because women are attention whores period. They kiss girls because of a dare, or for free beer. This is happening a lot more with high school and college aged women who simply want to be the star of the show – and kissing another woman is a sure way to get a look…or three.

While most surveys say that women who kiss other women claim to be heterosexual, they admit that female bisexuality is an “exotic new trend.” They do it to let men know that they’re “sexually open and adventurous.” One male deejay this morning said that seeing a woman kiss another woman is a turn on to him, because it says to him that she is open-minded and sexually free. The other male deejay disagreed, saying that women who do this only want attention, and that he wouldn’t be cool if he came home and caught his woman making out with another woman. In his mind, if you’re with him, you’re with HIM – no women allowed in the bedroom. The other guy called him gay...in jest...I think :-)

So…if you’re Whiz Khalifa – are you turned on, or are you like “what da hell?”

Something tells me that he wouldn’t mind seeing his girl kiss Rosa Acosta, either because he thinks it’s sexy – or he knows it was a stunt. But how would you feel? Would any of you date someone who was bisexual so that you could spice up your love life with a possible threesome?

Personally, I have no desire to kiss any of my hot female friends. I guess you can say I’m not that “heteroflexible.” But according to most studies, the majority of women who kiss other women don’t do it because they want to, they do it to appeal to men – which is genius and sad at the same time. If you’ve developed your sexuality alongside internet porn, then girl on girl action may seem like the norm to you, and your sexual cues come from what you see on screen. Couple that with same-sex kissing being glamorized by celebrities like Madonna and Britney Spears and you have full-on rampant, cultural and sexual confusion.

But is it confusion if you know exactly what you’re doing? I find that most men are horny bastards all on their own – they don’t need to see a woman kissing another woman in order to get hard as Chinese arithmetic. But if a woman wants to stand out in a crowd of hot chicks, and kissing other women increases her chances – does it show how confident a woman is in exploring another area of sexuality, or does it show a deep-seeded insecurity with her sad need for attention or belief that she can’t get a man’s attention on her own merit?

What say you?

Go!

-b

TGIF!

I’m pretty sure the first thing I ever learned how to cook was an egg. Maybe boiled, maybe scrambled…but I’m pretty sure it was an egg. My mother told me it was time I learned to prepare my own breakfast, and she taught me.

What does this have to do with the price of tea in China you ask? Nothing…just thought that was a good way to start today’s topic :-)

Being that there were nothing but women in my household growing up, cooking was pretty much a given. My mother cooked dinner every night…and it was almost always baked chicken, some sort of vegetable and some sort of starch – rice or noodles. Every once in a while she might shock us with a steak or a pork chop…the occasional spaghetti dish – but for the most part, she made chicken…and my sister and I watched and learned.

I could always cook, but never really “throw down!” My sister was a better cook than I was, but she didn’t become a GREAT cook until she met her husband. He’s the BOMB when it comes to cooking, and he taught her how to slice and dice and flavor food to perfection. He’s Moroccan, and has a slightly different palate than we have, so he taught her how to make his favorite foods, and now she’s awesome. Anything she makes is great, and her family is well fed.

I’m picking up some of her secrets, and my cooking is on a different level now. Although I may not cook every day, I CAN cook when I need to. Thanksgiving, Christmas, a date – I can “put my foot in it” if my little heart desires. I don’t think I have a specialty yet (perhaps my cheesecake…but that’s baking…not cooking), but I’m working on it!

Which brings me to the point…finally. I was having a conversation with Brian (of RTT Throwback fame) last night and he mentioned that women nowadays don’t know how to cook. Like…at all...can’t even boil water. He said I was a dying breed and even went so far as to say that he probably wouldn’t date a woman who can’t cook...something.

ME: “So you wouldn’t date me if I couldn’t cook?”

Brian: “We’d have to talk, work it out…you might need to take lessons or something.”

As sexy as I am, I knew he wouldn’t say no ;-)

Ahem…anyway…

Most men I know have held similar views when it comes to women and their ability, or inability, to burn in the kitchen. If she can’t fry up a steak, she can’t be wifey - PERIOD. Of course they’d make an exception for Beyonce (who has said she can’t cook…but Jigga doesn’t seem to mind) or Halle Berry…but the rest of us “common chicks” better step our cook game up if we want to bear his last name. Only a “real woman” can cook, right?

I often wonder how men would feel if women asked a man on a first date if he could change his oil...or a tire…or swing a hammer. If the answer is no, do we mysteriously stop calling because he can’t do a “manly” thing – like build a house from scratch? I’m just asking…sounds crazy right?

I love a handy man, but it’s not a deal breaker if he can’t change a light bulb. After all, I know how to change one, so we won’t be sitting in the dark or lighting candles. And my guess is a man won’t starve if he marries a woman who can’t cook. You were eating before you met me right? That won’t change if you meet a woman who can only make eggs.

And fellas, a man who can bang some pots and pans around is sexy as hell to a woman. I don’t understand why a man seems “evolved” if he can cook, while we are simply expected to be able to…like it’s in our DNA and whatnot…but I digress. We like to be fed too, so if you can burn, maybe we’ll “feed you” in other ways. Jus' sayin'!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m playing devil’s advocate here because I actually like to cook for my man when I’m in a relationship. I don’t cook every day because it’s just me in the crib, so there’s no need to dirty up my kitchen if there’s no man sitting at the dining room table. Most women I know have a “get him meal” that they can prepare expertly for when he comes over - but other than that, we’re ordering Chinese.

Sometimes we just don’t have time, we’re tired (hell…I work 10 hour days just like you do man), or we don’t feel it’s important to cook until we have a family to take care of. Some women were never taught to cook by their mothers…no family recipes handed down...so they don't know where to begin. Some women don’t trust their cooking abilities enough to feed their man for fear of killing him, and some women want their man to cook for her.

So now…my question: How important is it to you that your potential/future mate know how to cook? Do you think a woman’s refusal to enter the kitchen would hurt her chances at finding love and/or marriage? Would you be fine if your mate could ONLY boil water for Oodles o’ Noodles, or do you prefer that your mate be an EXCELLENT cook? Is it a woman thing? Or should both sexes know how to cook equally well?

Bonus: Name 5 things EVERY person should know how to cook?

Go!

-b