Brookey's Cafe Blog

Happy Monday!

I know it's late in the day and most of you probably won't even read this...but I felt compelled to get this blog out there today. I've had a hectic day, but I wanted to make time to urge all of you to exercise your privilege to vote tomorrow - November, 2nd. Election Day.

I know most of you have friends posting the "Who's Gonna Join Me?" voting links on your Facebook wall. We have volunteers calling us from both parties, leaving us messages on our machines telling us to go out and let our voices be heard - to rock the vote. We get it! The message is loud and clear! But is it?

I live in NY, most of you know that...but I'm still registered to vote in PA. My permanent address is listed as Bensalem, PA - and I'd like to keep it that way.

After all, PA is a swing state...so I feel my vote matters more in PA than it does in NY. I could be wrong, but that's how I feel. I fully intended to fill out the absentee ballot - only to find that I had to turn it in at this office by that time in order for my vote to count. Those deadlines weren't met and I was a little too late. So what now?

I thought to myself, "Do I drive ALL THE WAY to PA...JUST to vote? or do I sit this one out?" After all, it's just ONE vote right? Will MY vote really make THAT much of a difference?

Yes...it will.

I know some of you think that's crazy, but what if EVERYONE thought like me?

No one would show up at the polls...that's what. And that's wrong.

Now again...that is just my opinion - and you all know that I have an opinion about everything - and I fully intend on expressing mine tomorrow. It's not about believing that my ONE vote will change the world. It's more about making an effort to participate in the political process. When it's all said and done and I seriously consider what is at stake, I feel compelled to exercise my privilege with a sense of urgency - and I encourage you all to do the same.

Now of course, I can't MAKE you do anything you don't want to. Perhaps some of you have actively DECIDED NOT to vote. That's your right too. If you've already pondered what's at stake and have decided not to vote, then there's just no getting through to you. You've made up your mind. But remember, NOT voting also renders you mute and insignificant.

Yeah, I said it.

Voting is a privilege that was hard to come by for most of us who read this blog daily. There were many years that women and minorities were not permitted to let their voices be heard in the political arena. People were brutalized and murdered so that you and I can have the luxury of going to the polls to vote, free of charge and without anyone standing in our way. Come to think of it, we don't even have to physically be there to vote...which is what I was hoping would be the case by filling out my absentee ballot in time. But the privilege isn't the only reason to get out and vote tomorrow.

The state of affairs is out of control in this country. Unemployment rates, the war(s), education, housing, energy...you name it. There is still so much that needs to be done...and we need you.

Are you one of the many strange creatures I've heard of that has never voted? Have you been deceived into believing that your vote doesn't count? Well, it does.

Did you know that best way to control a person does not involve force? Discouragement will keep a person from ever trying to do better, despite the fact that they know better. Take off the shackles of your mind and let your voice be heard. If you have ever complained about the current state of affairs in this country (and I know you have), then by all means, either vote - or be quiet. The time to speak is at the polls. Vote now or forever hold your peace. If you're a parent, then this is more of an issue of privilege for you. It's an absolute obligation. A good parent leaves an inheritance for their children. What will your choices pass down? Think about it.

I've decided to make the drive to Philly to cast my vote, and it will be a personal day well spent. Exercise your privilege tomorrow - the time is more urgent than ever.

-b

TGIF!!

Sexy Survey Time!

1. Do you have a pet name given to you by your boo that you hate?

2. Is a little separation necessary for a relationship to stay healthy and exciting, or can you spend every waking moment with your partner doing everything together...and still get along just great?

3. Is there a time in your relationship where you allow your partner to see you flossing your teeth, popping your zits, or clipping your toenails - or do those things remain a mystery forever - even after marriage?

4. Do you feel you have a greater orgasm from better quality, longer lasting foreplay, or better quality, longer lasting sex?

5. Do you think it’s fair to say men are more at ease with meaningless sex than women are? And/or do you think women or men or Sex and the City are responsible for propagating the myth that females are cool with "meaningless sex"?

Go!

-b

Happy Halloween!

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- This is my 500th blog post! Yay!

- I dreamt of fish - who is it? :-)

- Sherri Sheppard is so goofy to me.

- I love seeing the leaves fall from the trees - so pretty!

- I love the Fall, but I also love the warm weather we've been having. I'm going to enjoy it, because I know the cold is on its way back...like tomorrow. But why have people been wearing big coats, gloves and scarves when it's been in the 70's all week? I know it's late October and no one loves a nice cozy sweater and "butta leatha" more than me...but you shouldn't be wearing a wool skull cap when it's 76 degrees outside. I'm hot just looking at these people. Jus' sayin'.

- Um...there is no "a" in the word "definitely." I hate seeing that. I don't even know where people get that from.

- Hill Harper is so cute to me :-)

- I would love to hit the lotto...Mega Millions...Power Ball...either would be fine.

- Ever want to push someone down the subway steps when they're walking down them slowly and the train is coming? No? Just me?

- My sister heard the "Oh you fancy, huh?" song for the first time in her life yesterday. She was saying it all day, so funny. When I told her that song has been out FOREVER, she said, "Why didn't you tell me about this cute song?" How am I supposed to know what songs she's heard or not heard before? She's always in the car, so I assumed she listens to the radio a lot. Then I remembered that she's always with my two nephews who insist on watching the Karate Kid dvd (or some other animated movie) in the car over and over again. Is that what happens when you become a mom...you lose touch with the outside world? :-)

- My abs, legs and booty hurt from working out this week. All it takes is one week off to feel the pain again...ouch! I would tell you that my crotch hurts this week from spinning, but that would be over sharing :-)

- Brian's Throwback joint!



Go!

-b

Happy Tuesday!

Yesterday as I was lurking on Facebook, I read a status that said, on average, people tell about 4 lies a day. I actually thought that number was pretty low - but then again, I thought to myself, "I don't lie that many times a day...if at all." Or do I...?

Yesterday....

Coworker: "How are you today Brooke?"

My reply: "I'm great!"

But I was really tired as all hell yesterday, and irritable because I was told I had to pay an extra $252 to fix the power steering on my car after I had already shelled out close to a grand on Saturday to fix a problem with my exhaust system. So I was not "great" at all. But I said I was...

Is that a lie?

Yes, it was.

But I'm the type to try my best to be positive, even when I don't feel like it. After all, I don't have to make everyone else miserable or unload all of my problems on anyone else just because I'm having a bad day. Right? So in instances like that, is telling a little lie okay?

Coworker: "I've lost weight, can't you tell?"

Me: "Sure, keep it up!"

But what I really wanted to say was, "No, I don't see it...as a matter of fact...you look heavier."

But why would I say something so mean and tactless? I'm not one to try to hurt someone's feelings, and when put on the spot, sometimes there's no "creative way" to tell the truth without making someone want to punch you in the face...or run crying in a corner. I'd simply rather encourage you, even if it means telling a little fib. But is that wrong?

My sister is one of those people who tells you the truth whether you want to hear it or not. If your outfit is wack or your makeup looks busted...you'll know it. I don't think she could lie even if she wanted to. She wears the truth on her face. And even though I've gotten my feelings hurt many times because of her brutal honesty, I always appreciated that she never let me go outside looking crazy because she cared enough to tell me that my jeans were too tight, that I could benefit from swiping on some lip gloss real quick, that I should run a comb through my hair or get my upper lip and eyebrows waxed. She was telling me the truth because she loved me...

and because she would probably be embarrassed to be seen with me in public looking like "hobo scratch." (her line...not mine)

So what type of "liar" are you? Do you lie to spare people's feelings? Or do you lie to keep from being caught cheating on your boo? ;-)

Do you only tell the painful truth to people you love or who you know can handle it? Are you the type to only be receptive to the truth if it's coming from a friend or loved one? Would you appreciate being lied to if it means sparing your feelings, or do you appreciate the truth no matter who is telling it?

Or are you one of those people who claim to NEVER lie?

Cuz if you are...that's a lie right there :-) LOL!

-b

Happy Monday!

I'm not sure how many of you listen to Power 105.1 in the morning here in NYC, but Ed Lover basically "C'mon Son'd" Tyler Perry saying he should "just come out already."

Unless you've been living under a rock...or simply have no interest in anything Tyler Perry or Oprah (which is most men I suppose), then most of you know that Tyler Perry gave a gut wrenching interview on The Oprah Show on which he shared his traumatic story of sexual abuse at the hands of men and a woman.

He was between the ages of 5-10 when the abuse occurred - an age where most of us admittedly knew nothing about sex, and certainly were not able to consent to it. It's no wonder that anyone suffering sexual abuse at such a young age would grow up to be confused about their sexual orientation. Tyler Perry admitted to being confused, saying that he was forced to carry something in his heterosexual self that he did not want to carry. It's something he still grapples with to this day.

For years, many have wondered if Tyler Perry was straight or gay. After all, we rarely, if ever, see him with any women. He has no children. And he's a Hollywood powerhouse...which is basically code speak for "Gold-digger Magnet." Most men who have attained that sort of power are either married with children, or eligible bachelors with a different woman on their arm every week. But Tyler Perry is neither of those things. He's almost "asexual."

But even though Ed Lover "C'mon Son'd" him on the radio, he asked (almost to himself) why we CARE what he is. Why do we need "the confession?" Why do we have to know what Tyler Perry is?

If you are a woman who may potentially date him, then I can see asking the question. If you are a MAN with the potential to date him, I can see asking the question. But if you are a fan...or are NOT a fan, what difference does it make? Will you stop going to see his films if you find out that he's gay? Will we START watching his sitcoms if we find out that he's gay? Or will we just simply know now...just so we could say "I told you so." Or better yet, "I don't believe him."

Why do we have to know who the next person is sleeping with, or not sleeping with? Is it simply because he's a celebrity and we feel we have a "right" to know, or is it just something that comes with celebrity? Or do we wonder about everyone - regardless of status? Why do we care so much?

Personally, if he's not in my bed...then who he sleeps with, or doesn't sleep with, is none of my business. As long as he's healed and happy, that should be all that matters....but that doesn't seem to be the case. Why is that?

BONUS QUESTION: If you found out that a potential love interest suffered through sexual abuse at either the hands of a man or a woman, would you date them? Women: If a man told you that he was molested by a man, would you automatically assume he was gay and run in the other direction, or would you take a chance? Men: Same deal...would you care?

Let's hear it!

Go!

-b

TGIF! Finally!

...or should I say...PHINALLY! Go Phillies!

Sexy Survey Time!

1. Do you have "dirty" sex, or "proper" sex?

2. The first time you have sex with someone, are you more concerned with pleasing him/her or being pleased?

3. How do you get over a break-up?

4. What is your favorite sex "prop" - food, clothing, whips, scarves, handcuffs, etc.?

5. Women: Do you have sex when "Aunt Flo" is in town? Men: Do you "run red lights"?

6. What would your sexy Halloween costume be?

7. Do you kiss your partner after giving or receiving oral sex?

8. The mailroom guy flirts with you everyday, the woman who makes your coffee just right at Starbucks thinks you're hot...do you tell (brag to) your significant other about folks that flirt with you or come on to you daily or do you keep it to yourself?

9. Your man/woman buys you an article of clothing that you hate. Do you: say thank you, give him/her a kiss and never wear it? Say thank you, give him/her a kiss and then later secretly return it behind his/her back? Or say thank you, give/her a kiss and wear it proudly?

10. Is sex in a nice, cozy comfy bed with 1,000 thread count sheets underrated? Or do you have to have sex outside of the bedroom in order to keep it spicy?

Go!

-b